See how master Jin Yong wrote jokes.

There are two kinds of paragraphs, one is to write paragraphs, and the other is to tell paragraphs.

Master Jin Yong is a famous master in the Jianghu, and he belongs to the kind who can write jokes. If you have seen the International Debate Competition for College Students, you will know that the old man came out as a judge, and his eloquence was really average and a little sloppy.

But a well-written joke and a well-told joke are really two kinds of jokes.

Mr. Jin Yong's jokes basically appeared in the later period of his works, and the more he got to the back, the more jubilant he became. You can't see that kind of intelligence in "The Sword of the Book" and "The Legend of the Flying Fox". We read writers who are afraid, but when it comes to the legendary swordsman, the hero of the Eight Dragons, there are stalks everywhere. When it comes to Duke Lushan, there is basically no moral integrity.

In fact, my favorite passage is that Yang Guo and Li Mochou hide in the cave with their baby Guo Xiang, and Nemo kills them:

Q: "Did Guo Jing escape into the cave?" The French king snorted and said, "A pair of male rabbits, a female rabbit and a little rabbit." Nimo Xing was even happier, saying, "Ah, besides Mr. and Mrs. Guo Jing, there is also Yang Guo boy. "

Misunderstanding, everything A said, B made other explanations, A made a mistake or deliberately induced, and there were similar traditional jokes in cross talk, such as "big trial".

At the same time, this is also a defamatory job. Nemesis is an Indian, and there are many Indians in Hongkong. In those days, there were Indians in the police or apartment managers, so people in China laughed when they saw them.

With a change of mind, I realized that the soles of my feet had been pricked by toxic substances and I was about to pull down my shoes and socks to see it. Nemo star has turned back from the hillside and cried, "Son, this is a lie. There is no exit behind the mountain. Guo Jing and his wife are still in the cave. " The French king stopped taking off his shoes and said calmly, "You expected well, but there was no sound in the cave. I think they are all stunned by fireworks. "

Rinpoche, King of Jinlunfa, began to black Indians. In this life-and-death time, the French king is not conformal. The bad guys in Condor are very naughty. Zhao Zhijing's shady exposure, the ever-changing imitation show Huo Dou, the marriage-seeking madman Gong Sunzhi, failed to see Ethan Mochow (saying that she can be the main force to resist Mongolia) to the senior black-handed old monk, and the big rape is far from evil, which is definitely more naughty than one.

Nim Xing was overjoyed, thinking that the credit for capturing Guo Jing alive finally fell into his own hands. He didn't want the French king to take the credit, but he danced the iron snake to protect the key in front and went out directly from the hole. Yang Guo, these three silver needles are in the right place. No matter how big or small the steps are, you should step on one. Nimotong is short and walks fast. His right foot stepped on the silver needle, but he didn't retreat in pain, and his left foot stepped on another needle tip.

This rhythm has a sense of pictures of cats and mice.

The weather in Tianzhu is hot. People in China have always been barefoot, and Nimo Xing doesn't wear shoes. Although the soles of his feet are as thick as cowhide, the cold silver needle is extremely sharp and has already penetrated an inch.

Continue the black Indians to shoot map guns, and the masses love it.

He is brave by nature and doesn't care about minor injuries. He swept the iron snake on the ground and noticed that there were no barbs in front of the ground. He was about to continue to capture Mr. and Mrs. Guo Jing alive. (The first time I read this passage, I almost laughed to death, and I showed no mercy to the accent of crooked nuts. ) Suddenly my leg was numb, I couldn't stand steadily and fell down. Only then did I know that acupuncture was extremely toxic and rushed out of the hole rolling and crawling. I saw the French king take off his shoes and socks, holding a swollen and dark left leg, and his luck was rising.

Nemo was furious and shouted, "Bad thief, bald head, you are obviously poisoned and injured. Why didn't you tell me so that I could be fooled? " The French king smiled and said, "I was cheated, and so were you." That's all. " Nimoton was furious. He roared, "Me, Guo Jing, don't take it either. That bad monk Nimotong is alive and kicking today! "

When Nemo is angry, he calls himself by the third person. Such people are either coquetry or conceited. Caesar wrote this article, and Sister Lexus spoke this way. "Lexus really think ..."

Then Nimbus and the French king began to tear X, and Nimbus cut off his leg. The good people in the cave are also very naughty. Yang Guo pretended to be injured when he started working with Li Mochou. This is pulling the bad guys together to be naughty. Li Mochou is a cruel and boring person, but since he was hugged by Yang Guo once, he has become more and more naughty. Later, I caught a leopard and raised Guo Xiang, having sex with GongSunZhi, and went further and further on the road of female stage players.

Jin Yong's misunderstanding is very clever, and it has reached its acme in the legendary swordsman, especially TVB:

The girl frowned and begged, "Don't push me, I really can't." Ling Huchong said, "If you can't do it, you have to do it. Drink, drink. " The girl took a few sips, gasped for a moment and said, "You ... why did you do this?" You will hurt yourself by doing so. " Ling Huchong said with a wry smile, "It doesn't matter if I hurt my body. I just want you to be good. "

While saying this, the old man and Zu Qian Qiu were trapped in a fishing net, thinking that Ling Huchong was molesting the old man's daughter.

As for Gu Tao's Six Immortals, they are just a group of crosstalk performers. In front of the temple in Yang Zaixing, they used to break sentences:

Tao Ganxian scratched his head and said, "It says' Yang Gongzai', not' Yang Zaixing'. It turns out that this general Yang is surnamed Yang, a doll. Well, it's Yang Gong and Yang Gong again. Good name, good name. " Tao Zhixian was furious and said loudly, "This is obviously Yang Zaixing. You are talking nonsense. How can you call Yang Gong again? " Taoxian said, "It's clearly written here as' Yang Gongzai', not' Yang Zaixing'." . Taogen Xiandao: "So what does the word' walking the gods' mean?" Ye Taoxian said: "Xing is happiness, and the God of Xing is spiritual happiness. The boy surnamed Yang died and someone supported him. Of course, he was very happy. " "Very, very," said the dried peach fairy.

It is much easier to write jokes in novels if a good joke wants to shape characters. A story has developed for a long time and all readers are familiar with it. At this time, they tell jokes, which are easily accepted by readers. Gu Tao's Six Immortals are so entangled that they refuse to admit when they say something wrong, so it is more appropriate for them to spoof Yang Zaixing. In fact, Jin Yong, a naughty old man, must have gone to Fuxing Temple when he was young. He was afraid of being beaten when he saw this shrine, and the result was written into the novel.

The paragraphs in novels are better than plain paragraphs, which is why many people love to write paragraphs around various novels. Among them, Jin Yong's novels are widely circulated, with distinctive personality, and many people like to write them.

For Duan Zishou, a good joke of Jin Yong should make full use of the world that the old man helped us build. On this basis, we can achieve a happy ending.

Scope of topic selection

Works like The Legend of the Flying Fox, The Book of the Sword, Love and Hate are not very popular, so it doesn't matter how much you dig, so I suggest giving up. Her popularity is not high, and Wen, the first jealous woman, is not very popular.

In fact, there are only a few protagonists: Guo Jing (idiot), Qiao Feng (contradictory identity), Hong Qigong (poor, greedy), Ouyang Feng (toxic, crazy), Huang (moody and pretentious), (sexual orientation is unknown, I especially like to black him, he has a cute feeling), and Yang Guo (because of injury, he has become the favorite stalk of Duan Zishou).

So everyone's role can be pointed out at once. What are the personalities of Di Yun and Shui Sheng? The face is blurred, so I won't write about them, just choose this symbolic angle.

sexism

The women in jokes are all the same image. Except for Huang Rong, others often use the characteristics of women, not the characters themselves.

It should be pointed out here that the paragraph is definitely politically incorrect. If you want to be right, don't be a paragraph hand.

Yang Guo said, "Teacher, if you walk 50 miles east, you will get to Xiangyang. There is a road to the south ..." Li Mochou thundered, and Yang Guo's spirit was broken. On his deathbed, he heard, "You are a girl, okay? What are you doing? Don't tell the girl the direction! Say left and right! "

The black dot is "Girls don't distinguish between east, west, north and south". Of course, many girls know the way, but it's too dark.

Appearance discrimination

Xiao Feng is usually used as a national terrier, but sometimes you can break through:

Yeluhongji was surprised to see the blue wolf on Xiao Feng's chest. "Strong man, your name is Xiao?" "How do you know?" "I have countless Liao Empresses, but their names are all Yelv Xiao." Hongji paused. "You were born with a big face, so you know."

Name discrimination

Quan said to him, "Elder, don't you believe it's the Khitan people? Think about it, what's the weather like in Luoyang General Helmsman Conference, Peony Festival, Bamboo Forest Secret Meeting and Juxianzhuang Conference? " Elder Chen couldn't help but feel shocked: "It's all ... it's all rainy!" " I can't help but look smug: "Only people named Xiao have this kind of power." The elders have raised their hands and "count me in"!

This stalk is troublesome, and you must know Jam Hsiao and the weather forecast.

Regional discrimination

There are three works by Mr. Jin Yong describing Northeast China: Flying Fox of Snowy Mountain, Duke of Lushan Mountain and Shooting a Ferret Hero to Earn.

Sometimes it's not black people, it's black old people.

Time dislocation

Wei Xiaobao said, "Since you have become tall and thin, and your brother has become short and fat, why not change your name?"? Your name is thin monk, and your brother is fat monk? " "Ambassador Bailong, that won't do." At this time, a thunderous voice echoed in the sky: "Don't say no to yourself, one of my girlfriends, 10 lost weight 15 kg!" Please click ... "

Torre supervised the country for four years. After her death, her sister Hua Zheng came to power. Many Mongolian nobles proposed to her. One day, she replied angrily: "Men don't have a good thing!" So Zhongshu Province drafted a policy to separate the fourth kind of people-southerners from third-class Han Chinese.

Discrimination against special groups

In fact, Jin Yong's father respects the disabled. Although Ke Zhene is stubborn and brainless, he is really chivalrous. Guo Jingying slapped Mei Chaofeng silently, saved his life and stopped fighting, on the grounds that she and Master were blind.

Guo Jing is the representative of Confucian ethics loyalty. Such people pursue political correctness in everything they do, but look at Ling Huchong:

"Master abbot, the younger generation has been bold in the Jianghu over the years because they don't know that they are shallow, and it's embarrassing to think about it. Although the younger generation won't live long, they can't practice the exquisite internal skills handed down by Uncle Fengtai. But there seems to be a saying in the ancients that as long as you listen to the sermon in the morning, it doesn't matter if you die at night, doesn't it? " Zheng Fang said, "If you listen in the morning, you will die at night!" Ling Huchong said, "Yes, this is what I heard from my master. It's really like today when a blind man opens his eyes and listens to the master's advice, even if he doesn't practice for a day, he is just as happy. "

All the blind people Ling Huchong met in his life were enemies. He stabbed many good players of Songshan Sect. Later, Lin Pingzhi and left chills also went blind. He really can't respect and understand the blind.

Guo Jing can't say such things. If he does, he will die.

"Master, my disciple learned the eighteen palms of the dragon-descending of the Beggars' Sect leader Hong, and wanted to learn from the seven masters ..." Did you learn the kung fu of Hong Men? Great! " "yes, I feel like a blind man opened his eyes ..." "damn it! "Guo Jing, pawn.

As for making fun of Yang Guo's broken arm, it is neither new nor interesting. Written in those days, I suggest avoiding it as much as possible.

Zhao Zhijing yelled at Yang Guo: "You inverse acts, why don't you take out the antidote!" ! "Zhao Daochang died of multiple organ blunt trauma at the age of forty.

But it can be refurbished with political stalks.

"The Wulin Congress applauded Guo Daxia as the leader of the Wulin League, and the condor heroes abstained."

This black spot is actually "passed by applause", and anyone who has seen nine news films knows where this point is.

Homophonic pun

In the Internet cafe, I yelled at Wen Tian: "If you come back from the bubble, who the fuck will steal my number!" ! No one is allowed to leave today ... ""This friend is too overbearing. " "Who the fuck are you?" "The original road number ..." "How dare you say it! "Xu Chong, pawn. Nineteen.

Wang Zaixing dreamed that he secretly joined Guangmingding to help out, and met a Taoist from Wutangmen to check his identity. His clear voice replied, "My name is ..." He died.

My name is Zoroastrianism.

Mongolia has no official documents. Whoever wants to be arrested, the county magistrate sings to the ranks, and the ranks arrest people by name. Wang Baobao sent troops to capture Zhang Sanfeng's real person more than once. At the most dangerous time, Song Yuanqiao was turning over grain in the yard and the door was kicked open: "Zhang San, is there a Zhang Sanyi in Fengzhen?"

Cao Gonggong's experience as a beggar in his early years is a topic that is easily overlooked by martial arts researchers. Without understanding this logic, you can't understand temples and rivers and lakes. He is a man who never forgets his roots. His men always talk about it: "Beg for the cake factory ... the flying pigeon of Longmen Inn has delivered the book."

The first two sentences of this factory joke are particularly normal, and finally they are all black. This is the so-called inversion stalk, which is what everyone says, "You can guess the beginning, but you can't guess the end".

Laugh at today

"Well, the lamb sit hip! Calf kidney! Rabbit meat, roe leg meat! Pig ears ... What I don't understand is why these five kinds of meat can have the combined taste of more than 70 kinds of animals! Unreasonable! Rong Er, tell the master. " "Master is really an expert. When this dish was cooked in the morning, jing elder brother took it to Metro Line 1. "

On the subway in the evening rush hour, there are dozens of animals in the carriage. The morning rush hour is not much better.

"According to the Wulin Society, Qi Ren Bomou (pseudonym Dalun) broke into Tianlong Temple, injuring the monks Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou and Duan Zhengmou, and kidnapped Duan Zhengmou's grandnephew Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou, Duan Zhengmou and Duan Zhengmou's nephew."

This is the irony of the manuscript, and it is also a beautiful tradition for the Duan brothers to sit alone for five years.

chicken soup; inspirational nonsense

When Master Ku Rong looked at Duan Yanqing again, he saw that his face was full of sympathy. The master continued: "You know, it's not the thorns on the road ahead that hinder you, but the stones in your shoes ..." Duan Yanqing looked at his trouser legs and roared. The master is dead.

cheap

This kind of joke is what you want to do. Look at people who make you want to write jokes, such as:

Liu Mei!' "Lord Gongsungu, my name is not Liu either." "Then what's your name?" "I'm Xiaolong ... a woman." "Well, put away your NPC and CPPCC news. I recognized the gender. Ashton Chen (female), come back with me and get married! "

"Little Dragon Girl!" "Lord Gongsungu, what else can I do?" "Every woman who enters this valley will sleep with me!" "My heart is like an only child, I won't sleep with you. You haven't considered my feelings at all. I am a woman, but I am a living person first. " "okay. Little Dragon Man! Then tell me where Yang Guo is? " I won't tell you, I won't tell you, I won't tell you!

Guo Xiang wanted to turn away from the old monk, but suddenly he found that the French king was surprised and looked down his eyes, only to see that Yang Guo was sprinting. King Jinlun couldn't help mumbling: "No, how could Yang Guo not fall to death on such a high cliff!" Guo Xiang said, "I told you there was a pool down there. Jumping won't kill you. " The king of France looked at the wooden frame 100 feet high, spat on the ground and jumped. Golden wheel French king, pawn.

All the stalks with Yang Guo must be not only Yang Guo and his aunt, or they must be bad jokes. There are other passers-by roles, dialogues and direct quotations, all of which are shaping people.

Jin Yong didn't write low-level jokes himself, but of course he did, mainly in Duke Lushan's place, where he made textual research on the word "fuck her grandmother". Wei Xiaobao said that it was no injustice to fuck Zheng Keshuang's grandmother, but Shi Lang couldn't do it, because he surrendered to the Qing Dynasty and only had the power of the navy prefect.

Shi Lang cried, blushed and cursed in her heart: "Fuck you, Grandma Wei Xiaobao." He fought back his anger and took a long drink from his glass, but his breathing was not smooth. As soon as the wine entered his throat, he suddenly coughed violently.

Wei Xiaobao said, "Look at your face, you were born to be my mother, but I don't even know who my father is, let alone who my grandmother is. If you want to fuck my grandmother, you must be screwing the wrong person. Most of you still want to be my old man, so my grandmother is your mother. If you fuck my grandmother, aren't you giving your old mother a hard time? " Ourtenant looked at him.

Compared with Mr. Jin, writing jokes within 140 words can be described as dancing in chains, but there are certain rules.

I named this story series "Great Martial Arts have their own worries". After all, it must be two people talking, with different ideas, colliding with each other, and the word 140 came out. Brain holes are mostly practiced, but before that, I am proficient in the relationship of a world figure.