Any funny jokes?

2151. The old woman brought a large bag of supplements to visit her grandson who was a soldier. When she found the squad leader, she asked: Is XX here? The monitor said: XX said that his grandma passed away and asked for leave yesterday. 2152. Lao Mi complained to his wife: Modern people are so terribly sensitive. If you just say something, they will think you are talking about them! The wife squinted her eyes and said warily: Are you referring to me? 2153. An old couple was walking down the street holding their grandson when they met a middle-aged woman: So cute, how old is he? The old lady answered first: She will be sixty-five in two months. 2154. Lao Li was addicted to alcohol, and his wife said angrily: If he drinks again, he will get divorced! Lao Li didn't drink for two days. On the third day, the wife saw her husband in a daze in the room and asked why. Lao Li said: Let's get a divorce! 2155. The tiger was chasing a crab, but it disappeared after chasing it. Looking back and seeing a spider, the tiger said: Do you think I won't recognize you if you get on the web? Take it! 2156. The tiger was bitten by a bedbug. The tiger lowered his head to look for it, but could not find it. At this time, a seven-star ladybug crawled over. The tiger went up and held it down: Xiaoya, don't I recognize you if you wear a Tang suit? ! 2157. My husband was giving his 3-year-old daughter a bath. As soon as he put her into the basin, her daughter yelled, "Mom, look, daddy is picking up a girl." 2158. Old Woman: You want to hire a heroine, and I will apply. Director: But you're late. Old woman: I came right away as soon as I saw the advertisement. Why am I already late? Director: You are 20 years late. 2159. When Lao Du first got married, when he came home every day, his wife would bring him slippers, and the puppy would bark at him. Now, it has become a puppy that brings Mr. Du shoes, and his wife barks at him. 2160. The boss remembered that he didn't bring his passport with him at the airport, so he said to the driver: "Go back and see if my passport is in the drawer on the right." The driver came back an hour later: "The passport is indeed still in the drawer." 2161. The boss took the dog for a walk, and the worker asked: Boss, does this dog bite? The boss said: Bite. Da Zai: No wonder we are all injured. 2162. Boss: Remember, the customer is always right. Employee: Really? Boss: Of course. Employee: Yesterday a customer said that the people who open the store here are idiots. Boss: Why are you late today? Clerk: Because you announced yesterday that you can only read newspapers at home. 2163. My father was going on a trip, so his wife bought him a pair of anti-theft underwear to keep him safe while carrying money on the road. The old man had never heard of this thing, so he complained: "Who would steal the underwear of a bad old man like me? Why is there any need for anti-theft underwear?" 2164. Larsin was addicted to alcohol, and his doctor recommended that he adopt yoga methods to stop drinking. The doctor met his wife and asked her how her husband was doing. "Doctor, that's too bad. Now he can drink while standing on his head." 2165. Someone carved on the desk: Every time I miss you, the stars will shed a tear. This is how the ocean is formed. Someone replied below: I fart every time I miss you. This is how the ozone layer is formed. 2166. During class, the teacher's favorite and least favorite students were dozing off. The teacher woke up the student he disliked the most and said: You see Cao Ming dozing off while reading, but you doze off as soon as you read. 2167. The guest said to the little host: Look, what beautiful curly hair. Was it given by mother? The little master thought for a moment: I think my father gave it to me, because now he has no hair on his head. 2168. The passenger ship passed by a deserted island, and there was a skinny guy on the island who was barking and waving. Tourist: Who is that? Captain: I don’t know, every year our ship passes here, he goes crazy once! 2169. Section Chief: Have you sent both letters on the table? Clerk: The stamps were affixed wrongly. The domestic one was ten yuan, and the foreign one was two yuan. The stamp couldn't be peeled off, so I changed the letterhead inside. 2170. Section Chief: You are late again! Female staff: There was a man following me after I went out. Section Chief: So what! Female staff: That person walked very slowly, so the time was prolonged. 2171. Exam question: Reasons why birth control fails in Africa! Department of Electrical Engineering: No electricity, nothing to do at night; Department of Mathematics: Poor in mathematics, miscalculation of safety period; Department of Politics: Lack of supporting measures! 2172.

During the exam, the invigilator handed over a small note from my classmate, which said: "The invigilator for this subject is very stupid. Please give me the answers to the multiple-choice questions." The fate of my classmate was very miserable. 2173. During the exam, one candidate kept lying on the table and rolling his eyes from beginning to end. After the exam, the teacher saw that it was written on his exam paper: My grandson gave difficult questions, and my son invigilated the exam strictly. I don’t know how to do it, so I have to hand in a blank paper. 2174. While watching a suspense drama, an audience member was so engrossed that he suddenly stood up and shouted: Where is the murderer? Another audience member said coldly from behind: If you don't sit down yet, the murderer will be behind you. 2175. The fortune teller said to someone: Women's hands are like ginger, and their belongings are piled in boxes. The man was overjoyed and said: Great, my wife’s hands are as good as ginger! She slapped her in the mouth yesterday, and it's still hot now! 2176. After reading the news, my wife asked excitedly: If you were to fly into space on Shenzhou 5, what would you want to tell me the most? The husband grabbed his wife's hand and said: The earth is better and more attractive! 2177. The guard comforted the condemned prisoner: Don't be afraid, the electric current is very strong and fast, and there is no pain. At this time, screams came from the execution ground. The death row prisoner trembled: What is the sound? Guard: There's a power outage. They've replaced it with candles. 2178. A guard dog ate poisoned meat and died. The owner wondered, the meat was used to poison wild cats. How could the dog eat it when it was always tied by the gate? The neighbor explained: It was obvious that the dog died after receiving kickbacks. 2179. When a boxer hits his opponent in the mouth, one person beams with joy and dances. The spectator asked: "Are you a boxing coach?" "No, I am a dentist." 2180. The father almost cut off his son's arm when he was chopping firewood. The son yelled at his father: "Fool, where are you going to chop it?" When the grandson heard this, he said angrily: How could this bastard talk to his father like this? 2181. At the opening ceremony, the new principal gave a speech to encourage the students: Our school is a "normal college" and we should not regard it as a place "where we can both eat and sleep." 2182. Coffee with partner, coconut milk and sago, just like you and me, a perfect match! Officers conduct examinations for new soldiers: In the dark night, you are standing guard, and suddenly someone hugs you from behind. What should you say? A warrior quickly replied: My dear, let me go. 2183. There was a woman in the sperm donation team. The nurse was very surprised: "Everyone is queuing up to donate sperm. What are you doing here?" The woman pointed at her closed mouth and said, "Um... um." 2184. During the intermission of the theater, the husband bought a glass of beer. Wife: You swear not to drink for two months! Husband: Honey, according to the program notes, there is a year between the first act and the second act! 2185. The theater critic said to the director: Your play is too noisy, with too many gunshots. The director retorted: Yes, but it is a military-themed drama. Critic: Of course, but the sound of gunfire will wake the audience up. 2186. Orange loves Yuzi deeply, but is rejected when he expresses his love. Orange yells: Why is all this happening? Yuzi timidly said: My mother said that women who take off their clothes too easily are not good. 2187. The drunkard called the hotel owner early in the morning and asked: What time does the hotel open? The boss said: Sorry, I have to wait until after the afternoon to come in. The drunkard said: Who said I want to come in, I want to go out. 2188. The wine shop is the battlefield, the drinking style is the style, the amount of alcohol is the courage, and the wine bottle is the level. The bar sells new products...heartache, a dollar a pop. For those who were curious, I bought a glass, and it really felt heartbreaking. It turned out to be just a glass of boiled water. 2189. At two o'clock in the night, at the end of a street that was as silent as death. "Excuse me, maybe you can tell me if there are any police here?" "No, there are no police here." "Well, is it possible to find a police officer nearby quickly?" "I don't think there will be any police." "Okay, Then please give me the watch and the money." 2190. The police stopped a car driven by a dog. There was a man in the back seat. The police shouted: "Are you crazy? Let your dog drive!" The man was helpless: "This dog is not mine, I am just a ride-hailer." ”

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