Dialect joke

Chinese dialects have their own characteristics. As a kind of culture and art, they contain strong national characteristics. Because of their own characteristics, the joke is coming:

1. Foreigners come to Xuzhou and find a place to park. Seeing a place, I'm not sure if I can stop. I saw a traffic policeman nearby, so I asked, Comrade, can I park here? The traffic police said: No matter. So I stopped to go, and I was posted. (Xuzhou, Jiangsu, no matter what it means to miss, no, no, no)

2. Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play. They heard that Beijing roast duck is very famous, so they decided to eat it. As soon as one of them sat down, he said to the waiter, go and dump those two roast ducks! After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter waving a roast duck in front of them and left.

One of them came. He called the waiter and asked why he didn't serve them roast duck. The waiter said, didn't you let me bring a roast duck? Note: (Shuai Shuai refers to eating in Yunnan dialect. )

3. In the college advanced math class, a Henan classmate got under the table. The teacher asked: Why? I can't find my pen. The teacher doesn't understand: Your sense of direction is so bad? Once you get under the table, you can't find the north.

4. On the way, I heard a male classmate say to my roommate: kiss me and eat! We looked at the two of them in shock and thought, what kind of obscene operation is this? Do something shameful in broad daylight? We didn't know what they said until we saw them carrying bowls to the canteen: borrow bowls to eat.

Tangshan people invited their colleagues to have dinner at home, including a young man from the south. After dinner, the young man wants to help me clear the table. I told him: you don't have to carry the plate, just scold the table later (scold, that is, wipe the table with a rag)

The young man stared at the thief's circle and said, you are still so particular about eating in Tangshan. I didn't pay attention to his words at that time. When we finished cleaning up the dishes on the table, I saw him standing in front of the table, pointing to the table solemnly and cursing: your grandmother is a hammer.

6. In Longquan dialect of Zhejiang Province, there is no sound of stomach harmony. There is a young man from Longquan who is a recruit in other places. In a long-distance running, the young man had a bad stomachache and stopped. The monitor came over and asked him what was going on. He said: I don't have any pain. The monitor said: Then keep running, quick! The recruit frowned and said, I really don't have a stomachache! The monitor didn't know what he was going to say, so he had to drag him!

7. A southerner came to a snack bar in Beijing and said to the waitress, How much is a night's sleep (a bowl of jiaozi)? Hearing this, the waiter changed his face and screamed, rogue! Hearing this, the southerner said, it's only 60 cents, which is cheap. Come for one night (bowl).

8. I went to northern Shaanxi on business once. At noon, I saw a couple at the next table discussing the problem of eating. Boyfriend asked: Do you eat shit? Girlfriend replied: Eat shit and eat shit casually! After listening to their conversation, I think these two people are really interesting. Later, I heard a friend explain: What do they mean by shit over there?

9. I ate a food stall yesterday, and the little brother at the next table was half drunk. He talks nonsense all over the world (Mandarin is not standard) and says: Outside, foreigners are here, here and locally, all pigs, pigs, pigs ... Before I finished, a big man at the next table stood up and slapped him in the mouth. The little brother stared and continued: most of them are rent, rent, rent. Then bang, I fell to the ground.

10, an anesthetized male doctor spoke with a strong dialect and once gave an uncle an epidural anesthesia. The doctor asked him: call mom (foot numbness)? Grandpa: ... The doctor thinks he can whisper. Go on: call mom (is her foot numb)? Grandpa kept silent and stared at the doctor. Finally, the doctor couldn't stand it. He raised his voice: Say something and call mom (are your feet numb)? Grandpa: Mom. ...