Anecdotes of Su characters

Sue likes beef. Friends often catch this and make fun of him. One day, he held a party with Song Helin. After he took a bath in the bathroom, someone deliberately threatened to go out to eat beef and made all kinds of noises desperately. It seems that everyone has opened the door and is ready to leave. When Sue heard ants on hot bricks in the bathroom, he quickly shouted, "Wait for me, wait for me!" " "Said, is blunt go out, all the water droplets are too late to dry. Seeing his embarrassed and nervous appearance, everyone burst into laughter.

Sue likes sugar best. Once, come to see Chen. Sue suffers from having no money to buy candy. He found three dollars in Chen's pocket. Without Chen's permission, he divided them equally, cut a piece and a half, and then hurried out. In the blink of an eye, he bought a lot of sweets from the street. When he really had no money to buy sugar, he put away the empty sugar cans under the bed and sold them as waste. After I got the money, I bought a handful of sweets.

Greed 2

His gluttony is almost as good as his talent. It's amazing that elegant people still serve as old people. I took time to read his letters, one of which was sent from Japan to my friend Deng Mengshuo at Columbia University in new york, USA. Most of it is food. For example, "only beef and milk advise you not to eat more." In recent days, people who don't care about teenagers like beef and milk, so their temperament is like cattle, so they should not be careless. If you say you don't eat meat and milk, you can't swallow bread. You can go to the grocery store opened in China to buy top-grade fermented milk. Red buy 10 yuan, white buy 10 yuan. If you spread it on bread and chew it slowly, you will get a good product. "

Sue continued in his letter: "If you are the master of your rebellious journey, ask what you are. Mr. Wang said that red is red rose (cheese); The person who answers the question about white is called white rose. At this time, will the anti-brigade master shake his head and sigh as a masterpiece? "

disordered/chaotic/confused

One day, Sue asked Zhang Taiyan, "Where did the children come from?" Zhang Taiyan found it difficult to answer, so he said, "You can find a book about men's and women's health knowledge and you will know. Why do you ask me? " Su said: "The book doesn't say that a man and a woman can have children only after coitus, but there is an exception: there is a woman there whose husband has been away from home for three years, and she is still having children. Doesn't this mean that women can have children alone without men? " Everyone laughed, but Zhang Taiyan didn't answer. Sue looked complacent when she saw that everyone was stumped by him. Liu Yazi's son Wuji, then 6 years old, met Sue almost every day, but he always thought he was a girl and sometimes changed his name to "Innocent". He gave Mowgli a pictorial with the words "spotless microscope". Later, artistry's second girl was born, and artistry really gave her a "clean" name. One day, a friend gave him dozens of dollars. He bought a blue cassock on the street and left 20 dollars without asking the price. The remaining coins also fell all the way to the ground.

supply exceeds demand

Su was born willful and had an uncontrolled diet. One day, his friend bought a bag of chestnuts, and Sue peeled them with her father and daughter. After eating, father and daughter fell asleep in bed, while Sue quietly ran out and bought another pack. Chen Qubing advised him: "Eating more chestnuts will increase the stomach, so it is better to eat less." Sue wanted to eat so much that she didn't take her words seriously at all and wolfed them down until she finished eating. That night, Sue's stomach was so swollen that he groaned until dawn the next day. Liu Yazi gave him 20 taro cakes. He ate it all at once, and his stomach ached. Someone bet that he would eat 60 meat buns at a time, and he readily agreed. When he reached 50, his friends advised him not to eat any more. He insisted on eating them, and he quarreled with his friend who advised him.

nerve

Due to long-term sentimentality, Su suffers from severe mental depression and sometimes neuroticism, which is called "Su Nerve". There are already many jokes. When he was with Liu and He Zhen, one day, he rushed into Liu's dormitory. This is an apartment. Liu is sitting in the outhouse, while He Zhen is taking a bath in the back room. Sue had to push the door into the back room. Liu's persuasion failed and he slapped him angrily. Su Shuman hesitated for a long time and asked, "Why did you hit me?" It was a long time before he understood, blushed and hurried downstairs. On another occasion, Mr. and Mrs. Liu had already gone to bed when they suddenly saw a naked man pushing the door and swearing inexplicably. In the dim light, Liu saw that it was Sue who lived with them.

Fear of ghosts

Sue is always afraid of ghosts. Later, when I was weak, I was even more afraid of ghosts. Friends seized his weakness and deliberately told ghost stories to scare him at night, which made him feel very funny. One night, when everyone was sitting around talking about ghosts, Sue sat in the corner with her eyes closed and didn't dare to speak. After going to bed, he tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. Shao Yuanchong slept with him and heard him crying before dawn. Shao Yuanchong asked him what he was shouting, and he said, "It's uncomfortable to pee." Shao asked, "Then why not go to the toilet?" Sue said, "The big head with a blue face outside is …" Shao Yuanchong was amused, so he got up, put on his clothes and sent him outside to pee.

Mr. Lu Xun once said: among my friends, there is an eccentric person who uses up all the wine as soon as he has money, but when he has no money, he goes to the temple to live honestly. The weirdo who spent all his money but was penniless was Sue.

One winter, Chen Chaonan returned to Shanghai from Shantou with only a thin quilt on his body, but Su didn't even have a quilt at that time, so he forced Chen Chaonan's thin quilt. Xu Qianhui, a student of Chen Chaonan, immediately ordered the maid to send a thick quilt to Chen Chaonan. In this way, Chen Chaonan's life has been improved, which is really a blessing in disguise.

Flirting with prostitutes

The charming Sue likes geisha and dancers very much. In Schumann's Miscellanies, there is a list of geisha with whom he has contacts, with as many as 28 names and addresses. In one of his accounts, it was found that Su, who loves reading, only bought books from 500 yuan, while at the same time he spent 1800 yuan in the brothel dance hall. He is generally single-minded about this kind of woman. For example, once, he found a geisha riding a tram in front of him on the road. He ran quickly, but the tram left. It's a trivial matter to miss the tram, but he lost two front teeth. He didn't care, and then everyone made fun of him. In Japan, Sue had a passionate and painful love affair with a prostitute named Bai Zhu, but later the couple failed to get married. Sue couldn't help telling the passengers about all kinds of help on the ship returning home, but everyone didn't believe him. Sue was in a hurry and immediately took out some women's headdresses and distributed them to everyone. After reading it, Sue threw all these ornaments into the sea and hid her face and wept.

Once, Sue met an American woman in the street. She was very fat and weighed about 400 Jin. Sue asked her, "Are you looking for someone? I'm afraid it's hard to find someone as heavy as you! " The woman replied, "So I want to find a thinner one." Su Shuman blurted out: "I am thin, how about being your object?" The woman was in distress situation and had to turn around and leave.

Catch lice

One day, Sue came to Longhua, put on a tattered cassock and sat in a crowded place to catch lice. In fact, he didn't have lice at that time, but he attracted many people to watch, including several foreigners. Sue wanted to play a trick on foreigners and waved to them deliberately, as if putting lice in his collar. The man swore, "Monks are filthy, don't make trouble without reason!" " Sue asked him in English, "Teacher Wang said I was filthy, but I never had lice, but you have lice!" " The foreigner felt ashamed and shouted, "Where are my lice?" "Sue said," I also have no! "The foreigner said," What if there is? " Sue said, "If you do, just slap me in the face! What if you do? " "Just like you: slap in the face!" Sue took off her robe, revealing the white shirt and perfume inside. It tastes good, and there is no sign of lice. Sue asked, "Are there lice?" The foreigner said gloomily, "No."Sue said to him, "Now it's your turn! "Those foreigners were very depressed, afraid of making a fool of themselves in public, and ran away despondently.

1965438+In May 2005, Sue lodged in a small temple outside Tokyo. Once, he took off his clothes and caught lice in the temple. A Japanese dwarf next to him caught a louse in his hair and lied that it was uploaded to his hair by Schumann's clothes. Su Shuman retorted: "My lice come from my body and are white; Yours comes from your head and is black. How can you say I gave it to you? " The dwarf was tongue-tied and speechless.

Another time, when Sue was chatting with a friend of hers, his friend caught a louse from his clothes and was about to kill it. Schumann quickly stopped it and said, "Don't kill it, just throw it out of the window. You know, it's painful enough to hold it in your hand. " Caring for life is really ridiculous.

Interest in painting

Su's paintings are elegant and lofty, and many people ask him to paint. But he is romantic and funny by nature, and only agrees to the girl's request, and declares that every painting should be exchanged with the woman's photo. All the men who wanted to paint refused. A very good friend must work hard to get his paintings. His friend Ye Chuchen asked him for photos many times, but he never wrote. One day, Ye led him into the painting room. When Schumann came in, he found that he loved cigarettes, chocolate candy, beef and so on. He is very happy. On the pretext of something, Ye Chuchen locked the door outside and said loudly, "I have prepared food for you, so you can draw in it with peace of mind!" In this case, while eating, Sue conceived and drew the famous Dream of Fandi.

On another occasion, one of Sue's fellow villagers asked him for a painting. Because of his feelings, he drew a boat in the southeast corner of the paper and a villain in the northwest corner. The villagers were very unhappy and thought he was making fun of them on purpose. Sue deliberately drew a line, one end tied to the bow and the other end held in the hands of a villain, which became a wonderful picture.

In order to get one of Su's paintings, Zhang Qun, the mayor of Shanghai, bought chocolate candy to comfort him every day. After a long time, Su Cai understood Zhang Qun's original intention and asked with a smile, "Do you want my painting? Why else do you spend so much money? " Zhang Qun presented paper and ink, and Su drew a small picture for him: the crescent moon in the distant mountains and the willow sparse in the west of Western jackdaw. What a bleak and boundless painting. Zhang Qun was grateful. Sue smiled and said, "Don't thank me yet, the painting is not finished yet!" " Say, use ink pen to hook a thin line from willow tip to crescent moon. Zhang Qun hurried forward to stop it, but it was too late.