Humorous jokes about chatting with girls every day.

There are many funny jokes about chatting with girls. I wonder what everyone knows. The following are the humorous jokes I compiled for you to chat with girls every day. I hope you like them.

Excerpts from humorous jokes about chatting with girls every day.

1. A hen laid a huge egg, and a reporter came to interview. The hen was shy and silent, so she had to interview the rooster. The cock rolled up his sleeves. I won't comment on this matter at present, until I catch the ostrich!

2. A man swallowed an artificial eye by mistake and finally got stuck in the anus, so he went to the hospital. The doctor saw it and fainted on the spot. When he woke up, he said, I've been watching my ass all my life, but I didn't expect it to be seen by my ass in the end.

3. Henan Eva asked Henan Mom, "How does ABCDEFG make a sentence?" Henan mother: "A, this B child is from C family? Standing barefoot on D, EF does not wear, GG is still exposed! " Haha?

When a person always farts in the office, his colleagues can't help but say, "Can you keep quiet?" Then I saw him sitting there rocking. Colleagues asked, "What for?" Answer: "I set it to vibrate."

I heard from a friend that a boy with low emotional intelligence finally met a girl he liked in college, and they just started dating. Once a girl was ill, and a boy accompanied her to the infirmary for intravenous drip. Ten minutes passed, twenty minutes passed, and nothing happened. Thinking of breaking the silence, the boy asked, "Is it cold?" "cold" and "cold, I'll cover you?" The girl blushed and whispered "OK". The boy got up? Cover the drip bottle with your hand.

6. When I was a child, I always bullied my sister because of my age. One night, my father came to tuck us in and suddenly found my three-year-old sister sitting in the dark watching me sleep! "Why don't you sleep?" Dad asked. My sister quickly said, "Shh! Keep your voice down and hit her when she falls asleep! "

7. I have a classmate who is a disciple and feels a little possessed. School should do morning exercises in the morning, and he thinks that teachers must also get up early to do exercises, otherwise it is unfair. So I went directly to consult with the principal. The headmaster paused and said, "Where are you from?" My classmate said affectionately, "I was sent by God to save you." Principal:?

8. This person is hard of hearing as soon as he gets old. I remember when I was a child at my grandmother's house, one morning my grandfather was going fishing and met the old man next door as soon as he went out. The old man said to my grandfather, "Go fishing!" My grandfather said, "No! I'm going fishing. " Then the old man said, "Oh, I thought you were going fishing?" I was stunned.

9. Take my wife for a checkup in the morning. After blood drawing: Nurse: "Come and get the checklist on the 32nd." Wife: "1 month 32 or February 30." Me (weak): "February 1st" Nurse (Khan): "Yes! Yes! Yes! "

10. I flew a few days ago and found a beautiful woman sitting next to me. According to the principle of chatting up, I blurted out, "Where did you get off?"

1 1. I cooked porridge with a rice cooker in the dormitory last night. Suddenly my roommate came into the dormitory and said, "No, the hospital leaders led a team to check the illegal electrical appliances in the dormitory. It's next door. What should I do with the cooker? " In desperation, I hid the pot directly under the bed. When the teacher came, he said, "Well, I can still trust Xiao Lei, so I won't look at your locker." I was secretly glad, but the teacher went on to say, "See if you use an electric blanket." As a result, I was recorded

12. The cat jumped on a person, a new girlfriend, and wanted to visit her home. Knowing that he often swears, his girlfriend repeatedly warned him not to talk nonsense, and some people readily agreed. After the meeting, someone responded freely without saying anything, and his girlfriend's parents were very satisfied. After dinner, in the cold winter, my girlfriend's parents insisted on sending each other to the side of the road. Some people are very touched and their brains are hot. He blurted out, "Uncle, don't see me off. Go back quickly. Look at that!"

13. Today, my boss asked me to delete all the CS in Internet cafes. I have been busy all night. Why do you want to delete CS? Actually, the cause is this. The public security bureau made a temporary inspection today. I got wind of it before. For several days in a row, I became a street sweeper, driving all creatures under the age of 18 out of the Internet cafe. So when the police uncles came from afar, my boss and I were not nervous. However, it is a pity. When the police uncles just stepped into the door of the Internet cafe, a group of people playing CS in the Internet cafe shouted excitedly: "The police are coming! The police are coming! The police are in the dog hole! Brothers, let's go! Kill them! " Well, I admit, at that moment, not only the police uncle's face was green, but my boss and I were horribly green.

14. She has a mobile phone and a PHS. One day, she changed a new mobile phone card. A colleague asked her what her new number was. She said she forgot, so she dialed her PHS with her changed mobile phone. While dialing, I continued to chat with my colleagues. After PHS rang, she picked it up and asked, "Hey, talk, I'll hang up if you don't talk!" " All the colleagues present were stunned. Then she hung up and said, "psycho, don't talk on the phone."

15. A brother went to the toilet and entered the ladies' room by mistake. After going in, he found that there was no urinal, which was wrong. Fortunately, there is no one in the toilet. He walked out casually. When I was opening the door, I met a MM coming in. MM faced him face to face, blushed, lowered his head, and turned to drill in the men's room? -

16. The hunter saw a bird in the sky and missed three shots, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird didn't hit the neutron bomb and patted its chest and said, "Scared to death, scared to death!" " -

17. A person passed by the cemetery at night and thought it was a ghost fire when he saw the fire. Then he threw a brick and the fire moved to another grave. The man still threw another brick, and he heard, "Shit! You can't even shit. You will get two bricks when you smoke. "

18. A woman was walking at night when she suddenly saw a man coming towards her with open arms, gave a hug and stepped forward. The man fell to the ground and cried, "it's the third piece." Who did I piss off? Is it so difficult to take a piece of glass home? " -

19. A novice went to collect usury. He took out the IOU and smiled and said, "It's written clearly in black and white. You owe me1000000! Do you want to default? " People really don't have that much money, and he threatened: "Hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! If you can't afford it tomorrow, your house will be just like it. " He took out a lighter and burned the loan? -

I once liked a girl, but she didn't like me. She said that the man she likes is the kind that no one dares to get close to when driving on the road. She thinks such a man is domineering. Last month. She is married. As she wished, her husband drove the sprinkler.

Chat with girls every day and enjoy humorous jokes.

1. After handing out the test paper, the teacher said seriously, "In this exam, another student made a mistake on the wrong question. Can you take a few minutes to ask yourself? Why? I want an answer later. " A few minutes later, the teacher called a classmate and asked, "What's your answer?" The classmate said innocently, "Teacher, I asked many times, but no one answered."

The youngest son is brave enough to fight with others. Once, the son asked his father, did you like fighting when you were a child? Dad said, "I dare not." The son said, "Why?" Dad said, "I can't beat others." The son said, "Then why didn't you call me!" " "

3. The minimum standard for a college student: peasant woman, mountain spring and a little field.

I said you were a pig, but you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

5. Judge: "Why do you print counterfeit money?" The defendant said innocently, "Because I can't print real money."

6. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

7. "Do you know what you are in my heart?" The goddess suddenly sent this sentence. I immediately asked, "What is it?" "Half of them are male gods." I was flattered, and then she said, "Half of it is menstrual disease."

8. A couple just got married. The husband was sent abroad by the company. A year later, the husband went home. After taking a bath that night, the couple fell asleep with snoring. Someone knocked at the door at midnight. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed, "No! Your husband is back! " The wife murmured, "Impossible, he is out of town."

9. The girl is sitting on a stool. When she got up, a person saw the girl's skirt stuffed in her ass and reached out and pulled it out. The girl was furious and slapped the man. The man said indignantly, "Count me in." Then reach out and shove the skirt back up the girl's ass.

10. A girl pretended to be innocent and asked, "Where did you say the child was born?" Another girl disdained: "Shit, it's not easy. You can come out from wherever you go in! "

1 1. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys wouldn't listen, so she cursed, "What are you thinking?" I was at a loss and said inexplicably, "I miss you!" " "There was a long silence in the classroom, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and cursed: "you smelly rascal!" " "Illegal!

12. A thief sneaked into a heavily guarded place at midnight. It took a lot of effort to open the vault, and he found it full of jelly. The tired and hungry thief ate all the jelly in a rage and left. The headline of the local newspaper the next day was: "Shocked! Sperm bank was stolen crazily.

13. The furthest distance in the world is: we go out together, you buy four generations of apples, and I buy four bags of apples.

14. A man happened to meet Xifeng. After a long hesitation, he asked in a low voice, "May I take a photo with you?" Xifeng shouted, "No, I won't sleep with you!" All eyes were on the two men, and the man replied awkwardly. After a while, Xifeng came over and whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm studying psychology recently, just to test people's reaction in embarrassing situations." The man shouted, "Thirty dollars? Too expensive! "

15. Two friends haven't seen each other for a long time. Let's eat jiaozi together. Sam suddenly asked Brother Han, "Do you know what gender jiaozi is?" Emperor Han looked puzzled: "After eating jiaozi for so many years, is jiaozi still divided into men and women?" Ah San laughed and said, "What a fool! It's a man. Jiaozi has a foreskin. "

16. I once rented A Jin Tianyi in Manba, and I burst into tears when I saw the second page. I don't know who drew a circle on a character with a blue ballpoint pen and wrote: This is the murderer?

17. I suddenly found an interesting rule: whether we watch love dramas or youth idol dramas, in the end, the hero and heroine get married, and the TV or movie is over. What does this mean? This profound explanation: as long as a man and a woman get married, there is no future!

18. Mother-in-law tests three sons-in-law. First, I invited my eldest son-in-law to take a walk. When I crossed the bridge, I suddenly jumped down. My eldest son-in-law was rescued by diving, and my mother-in-law gave him a Guangben car. The mother-in-law was also like this, testing the second son-in-law and being rescued. The injured second son-in-law gave an Audi. She tried her third son-in-law, but she couldn't swim and couldn't save her. Her mother-in-law drowned. The next day, my father-in-law gave him a Mercedes!

19. A: "Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will you forgive him?" B: "It is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send her to God? "

20. The signature of a bachelor was changed to: People who secretly love me, how can you be so calm! ! !

A selection of humorous jokes about chatting with girls every day

1. The old man who teaches chemistry is nearsighted. After putting a book on the blackboard in class, he suddenly turned to me and shouted, "What are you standing for?" ! ! Sit down! ! "I sat in the last seat, and my coat hung on the wall behind me?

2. An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underpants! " -

Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe, or I'll kill you!" " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't say anything if you ruin me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said, "I am too young to fart so smelly." It must be a cow. " The cow said, "I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly." The pig said, "People who fart will blush." Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, "How many times have I told you, I was born blushing."

On a business trip, just after leaving the station, an aunt came: "Young man, are you staying in a hotel?" I said, "No."My aunt immediately changed her ambiguous tone: "There is a little girl who is very beautiful." I was sweating like a pig and said, "There are no little girls." Aunt immediately changed her mouth: "Old maid, old maid also has it, it's cheaper." Sweat again and say, "I don't want a girl." Aunt was silent and whispered, "Well, there are boys!"

6. A policeman went to Thailand to handle a case and called a young lady at night. After making love several times, the young lady has been touching the policeman's penis in his arms. The policeman was very comfortable and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Melancholy miss: "no, I just miss." I used to have it. "

7. The boss sat there depressed after work, and the secretary asked why. Boss: "I received a letter from a guy yesterday saying that if I don't leave his wife, he will kill me!" " Secretary: "Just leave his wife! "Boss:" But that guy didn't sign! " "

8. Once, a very bad eunuch stopped Ji Xiaolan and asked him to tell a joke. Ji Xiaolan said, "Once upon a time, there was a man." Then there was a long silence, and the eunuch couldn't help asking, "What's next?" Ji Xiaolan replied: "There is nothing down there!"

9. Passing by a bank, four or five men came over and suddenly coughed together. I suddenly thought it was a code word to grab, so I was nervous! As a result, they coughed and walked past. Then I started coughing with a woman! It's not an infectious disease, t virus or something, is it? A little scared! What's going on Until I got to the place where they started coughing, I also coughed! Shit, whose cooking is so choking pepper.

10. When a male colleague and a female colleague were joking, the male accidentally sprayed perfume into the female's eyes, and the female burst into tears. The man said nobly, "Nothing, I will support you all my life!" " It happened that the man's girlfriend came to pick him up from work and heard this sentence at the door. Without waiting for his girlfriend to speak, the man decisively pulled his female colleague to his girlfriend and said, "Come, call mom!" " "

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