Complete works of primary school jokes

1, the primary school girl asked the teacher: "My grandmother is eighty years old, will she be pregnant?"

Teacher: "No!"

The girl then asked, "Then my sister is eighteen. Will she be pregnant?"

Teacher: "Yes!"

The girl asked again, "Then I am eight years old, ok?"

Teacher: "No!"

Little boy next to him: "Hey, hey, hey, I said it's okay."

2. A primary school student wrote a composition, which began like this: I went to the park to play on Sunday and bought a mung bean popsicle at the gate of the park, five cents?

After reading it, the teacher criticized him and said, "This is copied from an old composition book. Writing a composition should at least have a sense of the times. There are no five-cent mung bean popsicles now! "

The pupils nodded and quickly returned the corrected composition to the teacher, which read: On Sunday, I went to the park to play and bought a bottle of mineral water at the gate of the park. See if the production date is September 22, 2009?

3. The teacher asked: "/kloc-How many wars happened in Spain in the 5th century?"

The pupil quickly replied, "Six times."

"Which six times?" The teacher asked again.

"The first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time, the fifth time and the sixth time." Pupils answer faster. "

There is a clever student in the third grade of primary school, but it is difficult for him to settle down and listen to the class.

One day, he said to his teacher, "I know enough." There is no need to continue studying. "

Teacher: "Oh, really? You only read until the third grade. What are you going to do? "

Student: "Teaching the second grade!"

Before the open class, the primary school teacher "soothed" our nervous mood and said, "Don't be nervous. When you enter the classroom, don't look around. Not everyone is sitting under the stage. They all have two noses and one eye! "

6. One day, I watched my brother Liangliang's homework and found that the sentence he made with "human" was very scary: Liangliang was not human.

7, primary school Chinese homework, one question is to use the related word "one? Just? " Make sentences.

The next day, the teacher said, read the homework of yellow children's shoes for everyone to listen to: "Xiao Ming is ill, and the doctor said that it would be fine to have an injection."

The whole class collapsed. The teacher named the yellow children's shoes and corrected them. The yellow children's shoes said weakly, "Did the doctor say it would be fine to have an injection for a day?"

8. A newly graduated normal teacher went to a primary school to teach new students. The first thing she did was to ask the students to write their names in the exercise books. After that, she took back her exercise books and sent them back one by one by name in order to get to know the students. But there was one. She called for it ten times, but no one came to get it.

"Yellow belly! Yellow belly! Why, where has everyone gone! " Finally, all the copies have been distributed, and there is still one left. Raise your hand if you don't get it! At this moment, a little girl raised her hand and the teacher asked, "What's your name?" "Huang Yuepo." Teacher: ""

9. A student was late in the morning. The teacher asked him, "Why did you come so late?"

The student replied, "I was stopped by a bad guy on the road."

Teacher: "Oh, my God! Are you all right, son? "

Student: "I'm fine, but my exercise book was taken away by the bad guys!" " "

10, when I was in primary school, I wrote a graduation message. A classmate left a message that he wanted to be a professional killer when he grew up.

Killing pigs for a living now?

1 1, the teacher asked the students: "If one day. A robber stabbed me. What would you do? "

Xiao Ming: "I don't think he stabbed it."

The teacher said, "What if I miss?"

Xiao Ming: "Then give him a bottle of pulse and be ready for a better state at any time."

Teacher: "What if I get stabbed?"

Xiao Ming: "Then give him a performance. Can't stop ~ ~ ".

12, a teacher read the fox "Gua raccoon dog". When the students go home, they endorse their parents. The parents said, "Your teacher taught you wrong. That's a fox, not a melon. " The next day, the student said to the teacher, "Teacher, my father said it was a fox, not a melon." The teacher said loudly, "Your father doesn't know anything. Gua raccoon dog is much better than fox. "

13, a teacher asked three students, "What can you fill a room with?"

The first student found straw and spread it on the floor. The teacher shook his head.

The second student found a candle and suddenly the room was full of light, but the teacher shook his head.

Because there was no shadow of the student, the third student threw a bar of soap on the ground.

After a while, the cheerful atmosphere filled the whole room.

14, a teacher said to a class: It is said that women are made of water, but why are the girls in your class made of cement?

15 When I was a sophomore, we attended music appreciation. When we mentioned Mozart, the teacher said, "Mozart was only 6 years old, so he said to his father,' I'm 6 years old and I haven't been to England yet?' His voice did not fall, only to hear some students sigh: "I am 20 years old and have not been to Building 2. "Building 2 of Beijing Forestry University is a girls' building.