Classic hospital joke

1. When a mental hospital heard that the leader was coming to the hospital to inspect the situation, the dean called the patients in the hospital for a meeting. At the meeting, the dean

He said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and everyone should go to the door to meet them. When welcoming, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone should clap together. The more enthusiastic the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, I can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will eat steamed buns, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the dean's cough, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leader was infected by the warm atmosphere, smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing the leader enter the hospital, the dean stamped his foot, and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only the leaders smiled and applauded.

Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader and turned around.

Gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily-"You don't want to eat steamed bread? ! ! ! "

The doctor in the mental hospital wants to talk to a mental patient who is about to leave the hospital to confirm whether the patient has fully recovered.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: smash all the windows in your hospital with stones.

When the doctor heard about it, he found that the patient had not fully recovered, so he decided to continue the treatment. After a few months, the doctor felt that the patient seemed to be able to leave the hospital and decided to talk to him again.

Doctor: What are you going to do after you leave the hospital?

Patient: Get a job.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Making money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Save money.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Marry a wife.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: The bridal chamber.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her clothes.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her pants.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take off her underwear.

Doctor: Then what?

Patient: Take out the rubber band in your underwear, make a slingshot and find some stones to smash all the windows in your hospital.

3. A reporter interviewed the director of a mental hospital and asked, "What method do you use to determine whether the patient has fully recovered? 」

The dean said, "Let's give him a test. We fill a bathtub with water, put a spoon and a big bowl next to it, and let them drain the water out of the jar. " The reporter said disapprovingly, "Of course, we use a big bowl!" The dean looked at him and said slowly, "Normal people pull the plug ..."