Some jokes about super junior.

5J kidnapping [absolutely hilarious. ]

13 rabbit article

Kidnapper: Zhao, I have your record. If you want to save him, take100000 to * *.

13: oh, oh, don't hurt our rabbit. I'll be right there.

Two seconds later.

Rabbit: Hey, Kui Xian, the kidnapper was knocked down by nunchakus. Please make me pumpkin soup at home. I'm hungry.

……

Kidnapper: Hey, Li, I have your mobile phone. If you want to save him, take100000 to * * *.

Rabbit: Uncle, I'll give you all our pumpkins, and you let our little 13 go.

Kidnapper: I don't want pumpkins, I want money.

Rabbit: But all the money in our family is spent on pumpkins.

Kidnapper: . . . .

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Hehaipian

Kidnapper: Hello, Li He is here. I have your LP now. If you want to save him, you can take100000 yuan to * * *

250: Mo? Only100000, boy. Are you new here?

Kidnapper: You. . . How do you know that?

250: Look at your low requirements. . Tell you what, uncle, I'll give you 20 million, which is a good thing.

Kidnapper: (tears streaming down her face ~ ~ > _ _ _ _ _< ~ ~ ~ ~)

Three hours later.

I rubbed my hazy eyes around 250: I just dreamed that someone asked me for money. . .

(250 is dreaming. Have a big dream)

Kidnapper: Hey, Lee Dong Hae, I have your cell phone now.

About 250: (on the phone): LP, help me. . .

Donghai: You are afraid, I will take Bada to save you.

Kidnapper: Mo? Do you know Bada?

Donghai: Hehe, you are scared (sneer). . Do you know how vicious Bada is? Do you know the seriousness of being bitten by it?

Kidnapper: I have loved Sister Bada for so many years. I really didn't know she had this hobby. . . (= =#)

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Source model article

Kidnapper: Hey, Jin Jifan, I have your LG. If you want to save him, you can. . .

Kifan: That. . You . Call back in half an hour (some basic fans play PSPing~)

Kidnapper: Khan, I said I kidnapped your LG! ! ! ! ! !

Fan Ji: Oh, are you bored? Then kill the ticket.

Kidnapper: (someone is foaming at the mouth) Brother, life is still beautiful, please wake up ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kidnapper: Hey, Choi Siwon, I have your record. If you want to save him, take100000 yuan to * * *.

Ten yuan: Mo? You have a brother Han Geng?

Kidnapper: = = Not Han Geng.

Ten yuan: Is that the Sheng Min brothers?

Kidnapper: = = Guess again.

Ten yuan: Is it Xiaoxu?

Kidnappers: Khan, crazy Khan, waterfall Khan, Genghis Khan-

At this time, the poor little classmate couldn't help shouting into the phone: Cui Youtong! How many records do you have?

Kidnapper: Warm reminder, climbing the wall hinders family unity-

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Yi Xu tablets

Kidnapper: Hey, Kim Jong-un, I have your record. If you want to save him, take100000 to * * *.

Big head: Brother, where do you want me to get so much money?

Kidnapper: What's it to me? You must deliver the money before dark, or I will kill this ticket.

Big head: Big brother, I am not rich these days. Can you make it cheaper?

Kidnapper: Do you think this is a market? bargain

Big head: (with fists clenched and veins standing out, I made a great decision resolutely and indignantly) Tear it up ~

Kidnapper = =

Kidnapper: Hey, Jin Lixu, I have your mobile phone now. If you want to save him, take 654.38+million to * *.

Big head: (shouting into the phone in standard Chinese): Help ~ ~ ~ ~

Li Xu: 5555555555555, big brother, 55555555.

Kidnapper: Hey, stop crying.

Xu Li ~ ~ ~ > _ _ _ _ _<~ ~ ~ ~ has been sobbing.

Kidnapper: OK, OK, it's my brother's fault. Can't I just let him go?

Li Xu: I cried = =

Kidnapper: Alas, good people are hard to serve these days.

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Geng che Wen Zhang

Kidnapper: Hey, Han Geng, I have your LP. If you want to save him, take100000 to * * *

A treasure: Mo? Could you speak more slowly? (A treasure looks it up in the dictionary)

Kidnapper: (blushing) This sound is so strange and magnetic that it can penetrate the turbid air and my sin ~

A treasure: Sang Kang Amida ~

Kidnapper: covering his face and rolling on the ground ing~

Princess: Hey, uncle, leave my house alone. You don't even look at your face. Do you have my plan? (proudly looking at a pool of water on the ground)

Kidnapper: Hey, Kim HeeChul, I have your LG. If you want to save him, take100000 to * * *.

Princess: (looking in the mirror) How dare you threaten this princess?

Kidnapper: So what?

Princess: bad smile ~ing

10 minutes later

Kidnapper 2: Boss, we are surrounded by unknown creatures from outer space ~

Not the kui is a princess on Mars = =

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Strong specialty products

Kidnapper: Hey, Te Li, I have your LG. If you want to save him, you can. . . . Ah, ah, big brother, let go, oh, it hurts ~

Ah ah, boss, I was wrong. I dare not do it again. You are an adult and don't think about bad people. The prime minister can punt in his stomach. Please give me a break. Give me a break this time. I will turn over a new leaf and turn over a new leaf. I will never do such an unnatural thing again.

Qiang Ren: Smiled with satisfaction, and then said softly, "Get out!"

Kidnapper: My ass is rolling ~

Te: (Meng ing ~) What happened to LG?

Qiang Ren: LP I just saved a dirty soul ~

Te: LGbobo~

How harmonious the family relationship is ~

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God's flesh = =

Kidnapper: Hey, I have pork belly now.

Prodigy: Oh, I'm going to buy a new one.

Kidnapper: (crazy) Who told me that pork belly is the lifeblood of a child prodigy?

From only love SJ 13

Uncle: Ah! How could I forget to bring money! OMO~ I clearly remember taking it out. Let's see, I get up, brush my teeth and wash my face, then have a good breakfast, then put on my shoes, then close the doors and windows, then go out, and then …(N times and then later) Then what happened to me? God ~ I don't remember, it's really old! It's been n hours since he finished talking, and the waiter has fallen asleep and took the opportunity to run away.

Princess: What? I am so beautiful, generous, beautiful, sexy, kind, gentle, sensible, virtuous and lovely. How can a person have no money?

Attendant: Does this have anything to do with bringing money? …

Geng Bao: Mo? Sorry, please say it again. I come from China.

Attendant: Please pay the bill.

Geng Bao: Mo? I told you I don't want laver for rice. Why don't you understand?

Attendant: You don't understand or I don't understand? !

Eggplant: What? How can I have no money? I just don't accept it. What happened? Your food here is so bad that I didn't ask for compensation for mental damage, which is a bargain for you! (Alas, eat overlord ginseng ~ good boy looks after the school)

Attendant: It's a waste of time. (Call back: Boss ~ Should I call security? )

250: Huh? Pay? Pay what? Is it? Isn't this my second aunt's shop My second aunt is the boss here.

Attendant: The boss here is still my second aunt-

250: Really ~ It turns out that you and I are the same second aunt ~ It's really fate, so I don't have to pay for it. Oh yeah! (250, I don't know if you are really smart or playing dumb)

Xiao 13: Sorry, a cockroach was just found in the bibimbap. Please explain!

Attendant: Really? Amo ~ ~ `I'm so sorry ~ ~

Xiao 13: (pointing to bibimbap with similar food) Forget it, I'll pay you back, and I won't complain about you. Give me another one. (in a sinister smile)

Attendant: Guest, you really know benevolence and righteousness. Thank you ~ ~ ~ Another bibimbap and a bowl of miscellaneous sauce noodles!

If you think about it, you will know where that Xiao Qiang came from. )

Christine: Oh, I forgot my money. (Laughing at killing)

The waiter fainted.

The waiter cursed 10 who forgot to bring money.

10 yuan: Lord, forgive this ignorant man! He needs your salvation!

What he is saying now is not swearing, but praising ~ ~ ~ (narcissism)

Yi Sheng: I sang to pay for the meal ~ ~ ~ (singing immediately) and attracted many fans to the restaurant. In the end, I not only didn't have to pay, but also earned singing fees.

Xiaoxu: Sister, I forgot my money. Well, can I pay tomorrow? (staring at two watery eyes, holding the waiter's skirt with both hands and looking at the waiter piteously) The waiter has been fascinated.

Rabbit: Ah ~ ~, I forgot my money ~ ~! Can I use pumpkin instead? My dearest pumpkin, I can't bear to part with you! How about nunchakus?

The waiter was completely speechless.

Prodigy: Your pork belly is not fresh. Wow, I have a stomachache. I have to go to the bathroom first. (Never came back)

Donghai: This is my second aunt's shop. Do you know my relationship with Hector? Just come and ask me to pay ~ ~ ~

Attendant: I have been ruined by my second aunt all my life ~ ~ ~ ~

Gamblers know how to pour tea.

At that time, only Tao was ordinary.

The joke of Donghai children's shoes ~ sobbing

1, one day, SJ attended outdoor activities. During the break, the eggplant suddenly stopped and said, "Look! There is a dead pigeon! "

Haibao quickly raised his head, put his hand on his forehead and looked into the air. "Where is it?" He said eagerly. Where is it? "

2. The team earnestly advised everyone to learn more culture. For example, they say, "You should read some books. Without culture, you can't do it. Have you ever seen Shakespeare? "

Silence, after a while, Haibao confidently replied: "I have read it, but I can't remember who wrote it."

One day, Haibao went to a place far away from Seoul to attend the announcement meeting. After that, I went shopping with ten yuan who was also filming in the local area.

Haibao: Shiyuan, I'm hungry. Let's go to eat. You pay first, and I'll give you the money when we get back.

The one with ten dollars agreed, and two people ate five thousand dollars. Go back, Haibao gave ten yuan for a ten thousand ticket.

Haibao (chic): Take them all ~!

Ten yuan (moved): Donghai is very kind of you ~!

The next day, they ate 6000 yuan, paid the bill with the same 10 yuan, and Haibao also gave a ticket of 1 10,000 yuan.

On the third day, they ate 7000 yuan and paid the bill with the same 10 yuan. After returning home, ten yuan looked at Haibao, who started to dig out his bag again, and was a little embarrassed.

Ten yuan: Did the notice end yesterday? Why did you come to have dinner with me? Anything else?

Donghai: Nothing, just that Fan Ji asked me to give you the 30 thousand yuan I owed you last time ~

4. Haibao and Hehe

Haibao: Look at the man in front, he has no hair on his head!

Hehe: Keep your voice down, people can't hear you well!

Haibao: What? Doesn't he know?

5. Haibao and Gengbao

Geng Bao returned to China and went for n days. Haibao misses him and makes an international call: Brother Geng misses you ~ Where are you ~?

Geng Bao (warm): Well, I'm visiting Wangfujing now ~

Haibao (cold): Huh? I thought you went back to China. ...

6. Haibao and Princess

Bao did something wrong. The princess was very angry and wanted to hit him.

Haibao wronged: This is the first time. Can't you punish me next time?

Princess: That's easy for you to say. What if you don't succeed again?

7. Haibao and the mouse

In Japan, the mouse and Haibao had a phone call ~

Mouse: Donghai, is Xiaoshu all right?

Haibao: Don't worry, brother, there won't be one less! I pull them up after dark every day.

Put it in the dormitory and plant it back at dawn ~

Mouse: Oh ~, no ~

Haibao rushed into the dormitory: I saw someone stealing our car downstairs just now!

Everyone (urgent): Do you recognize the man's face?

Haibao: I didn't notice, but I remembered the license plate number!

While SJ was eating, the team found a very interesting thing. Donghai took out a coin and put it on the table before eating, then put it in after eating.

Once, the team finally asked him what he was doing.

Donghai explained: I bet my brother Xi Che in my heart every day that as long as he can say something besides his beauty, intelligence and strength at dinner, I will put this coin at the church fund-raiser.

A certain morning on a certain day of a certain year.

A middle school in Seoul.

The prodigy teacher walked into the office with dark circles under her eyes and accidentally saw a stack of leave notes.

1. departed: a beautiful angel who lost her wings, Te Te Li ~ Park Chung-soo.

Purpose of leave: to see a doctor in a hospital in Seoul.

Reasons for asking for leave: back pain, leg pain, knee pain, pain everywhere ~ ~ What should I do? If I don't go to the hospital, my illness will develop in the future, and if it develops, it will spread.

If it spreads, I will die. What should I do with my children, Qiang Ren, teachers, schools and the whole Republic of Korea?

It's going to be ruined ~ ~ ~ ~

Teacher's comment: I don't want to be a sinner of history ... In addition, please don't add such a long prefix before your name, thank you!

2. Applicant: Jin Yingyun

Purpose of vacation: to accompany my wife to the hospital

Reason for leave: My wife is ill, so I am not at ease going to the hospital alone. You know, teacher, there are too many cruel people like you. ....

Teacher's comment: Husband and wife are deeply in love. But I'm not interested in your wife ~ I only love pork belly! ! ! ! !

3. Leave: Lee Hyuk Jae

The purpose of leaving: to follow Lee Dong Hae.

Reason for asking for leave: According to the spy, Lee Dong Hae is going to meet a net friend today, and I must stop it for my lifelong happiness! ! ! ! !

Teacher's comment: According to the teacher's spy, Lee Dong Hae will take Bada with him. Please be careful and hope everything goes well!

4. Requestor: Lee Dong Hae.

Purpose of leave: excuse (walking the dog) real purpose (see netizen)

Reason for leave: same as above.

Besides, don't let Li know.

Teacher's comment: Friendly reminder, He Zai already knows. Take care.

5. Applicant: Li.

Purpose of leave: birthday.

Reason for leave: The pumpkin at home is 15236, and I'm going to celebrate his birthday.

Teacher's comment: Since your family has a pumpkin birthday every day, the teacher suggests that you take a year off school.

6. Applicant: Zhao

Vacation purpose: Go to Sheng Min, Li See.

Reason for leave: Li See Sheng Min.

Teacher's comment: You are very kind.

7. Applicant: Kim HeeChul.

Purpose of vacation: shopping

Reason for leave: Han Geng knelt at home yesterday and rubbed the washboard, and wanted to buy another one.

Teacher's comment: A shopping mall is promoting sales and the price is jumping. You only need 1000 yuan, and you can get a 10% discount by reporting the teacher's name ~

8. Requestor: Han Geng

Purpose of vacation: rest.

Reason for leave: I have been kneeling on the washboard all morning and can't stand up. ....

Teacher's comment: I remind you not to climb the wall ... why not listen? ...

9. Requestor: Jin Jifan.

Purpose of vacation: ....

Reason for leave: you don't understand.

Teacher's comment: ... yes ... I don't understand, so why bother? .....

Besides, Princess Jin asked me to tell you that if you leave Han Geng at your house for the night, you will be finished!

10. Requestor: Cui Shiyuan.

Purpose of vacation: stay at home.

Reason for leave: Yesterday, Jesus gave me a dream that I would have a bloody battle when I went out today ... Amitabha. ....

Teacher's comment: Jesus also gave me a dream, let me tell you that he went to the wrong door yesterday, and he was going to Kivan's house.

The teacher suggests that you set up a stall at the school gate in the future to tell people's fortune.

1 1. Applicant: Jin Lixu.

The purpose of vacation: to help others.

Reason for asking for leave: Brother Datou got stuck going out this morning. ......

Teacher's comment: excusable. .....

12. Requestor: Kim Jong Un.

Purpose of leave: I can't help myself ....

Reason for leave: My head got stuck when I went out this morning. ......

Teacher's comment: I'm sorry for your loss. By the way ... people are doomed. .....

13: Requestor: prodigy teacher.

Purpose of leave: exhausted, go home and rest.

Reasons for leave: See the leave slip on my desk for details.

Principal's comments: PM me when you need funeral committee.