Women, please put aside your aesthetic anxiety

I can’t remember how many times I have seen discussions on women’s makeup aesthetics in self-media and public accounts. The reason for the hot topic this time is Huang Duoduo, a teenage girl. The girl had her ears pierced. The public account started another carnival, educating every girl and every woman that your "aesthetic", your appearance, and your sophistication are very important, as if not wearing makeup these days is the original sin.

Just after reading such an article, I felt that I couldn’t help but want to write something to tell those female friends on the public account who complained that they were not allowed to wear makeup during adolescence and did not know how to dress up, so they are not confident enough now. , your lack of confidence is not because you don’t know how to put on makeup, but rather because these articles themselves are creating your lack of confidence. It’s not so much the “aesthetic lack” of not being able to put on makeup that makes you feel anxious, but rather the stereotyped labeling of female beauty that causes anyone who doesn’t belong to this group to doubt their female identity and not be feminine enough. Property Anxiety.

Under the general conditions of society, when it comes to beautiful women, a group of people probably have the same image in their minds: young, fair skin, exquisite makeup, devilish figure, just the right height, and high heels. , with pierced ears and exquisite jewelry. But now, it is precisely such a group of people who share the same aesthetics and lack diversity, who have the right to speak in self-media and the media, advocating so-called "aesthetic education" and telling others that our children lack aesthetics. For me personally, this is scary enough on its own.

When talking about aesthetic education, this kind of article usually mentions Schiller first. Who asked someone to write a book called "Booklet on Aesthetic Education"? The name is to teach women how to put on makeup to make themselves more refined. ah. Then we can start talking about Schiller’s home country, Germany. Germany, a people-oriented country, must educate women to become more sophisticated. I will tell you later that children have gender awareness at the age of three. It is inevitable to want to wear makeup during adolescence. I mentioned a few examples of people who were prohibited from wearing makeup during adolescence and were not confident throughout their lives when they grew up. This perfectly educates modern parents not to stifle their children's "aesthetics". ".

This logical chain seems clear and clear, but upon closer inspection, it is found that it is full of loopholes. We might as well start with Schiller and talk about German aesthetic education. Even if one of his philosophical works is translated with such a "provocative" and vague name, when you read it, you will still find that it is about the combination of sensibility and rationality, and the cultivation of perfect personality. I don’t know if these people who advocate aesthetic education know what aesthetics is. Anyway, if you don’t tell girls to wear makeup, how could this major become one of the most unworthy subjects in universities? So under the guidance of Schiller, a book that was so un-aesthetic, the Germans had a very unique aesthetic education. After studying in Germany for several years, one of the happiest things about me is that the only people who will judge beautiful and ugly women are compatriots who have experienced this kind of special brainwashing, so I will probably only hear a small number of people attacking each other. appearance. More qualified people in Germany (such as college students) probably won't say this. Their "personal attack" complaints include but are not limited to irresponsibility, lack of teamwork spirit in group assignments, lack of punctuality, and discrimination. , cheating and other dishonest behaviors, even a certain course is too difficult, the teacher’s PPT is not clear enough, and the teaching assistant is not professional enough. After complaining like this, you still have to say "Leben und leben lassen" to prove that you are open and respectful. Diversity values, these complaints are just talk (the literal translation of this sentence is to live your own life, but also let others live). And there will never be any truly discriminatory remarks like saying someone is not pretty enough. Of course, Germany's art-oriented aesthetic education is really helpful in many aspects. For example, Germans' layout is really beautiful, and coupled with their own rigor, most people's slides can perfectly cure obsessive-compulsive disorder. But if you expect German women to live a Chinese-style exquisite life, the reality may be far from what these people imagine. High heels are really rare in Germany except for the personal hobbies of a few people. Whether you wear makeup or not depends entirely on the person. In a university environment where you have classes every day and experiments every week, basically spraying on perfume is a luxury (at least for science and engineering majors). Jeans and T-shirts are a very standard outfit on the street, and wearing a skirt can also be worn in a denim style.

The clothes are in various colors of black, blue and gray. The most exquisite clothes are indeed aimed at adolescent children. This is probably the closest to the imagination in such articles. Even so, the clothes of German children in grades six to nine are also very different. There are few that meet China’s beauty standards for women. As far as the small sample of Germans I know is concerned, they think that for items, perfect functions and good quality are beautiful. As for people, it is beautiful to care for flowers and plants, to love small animals is beautiful, to be helpful and love reading is beautiful, to be serious and responsible and professional is beautiful, and even not to talk about other people's appearance, respecting others is also the basic requirement of this kind of aesthetics . In a word, anything that can satisfy the fundamental characteristics of a thing is beautiful.

What is the difference between this aesthetic and the aesthetic advocated in public accounts? In this aesthetic context, individuals' own needs and choices are fully respected, avoiding identity anxiety caused by artificially set aesthetic standards. When these public accounts continue to emphasize the delicacy of foreign elderly people, please be sure to recognize one thing. They have not encountered any constraints on beauty throughout their lives, so they can maintain their beauty in their old age. The charm of this beauty does not lie in makeup itself, but in It lies in the love for life, the wisdom and tranquility after experiencing vicissitudes of life, the calmness in the face of aging diseases and even death, and the courage to live and learn. These are exactly the opposite of the beauty advocated by the public account.

Let’s not talk about the problem that the beauty in many public accounts is really only beautiful on the skin. As far as this state itself is concerned, the problem is very serious, because much of this beauty is anti-natural: because we pursue youth, we hate natural aging; because we pursue a devilish figure, we diet too much to lose weight; because "girls" Everyone must have a pair of high heels." Therefore, ignoring the fact that high heels can cause bone deformation and increase the burden on the body, this aesthetic is clearly based on the judgment of sexual attraction from a male perspective and ignores women's own health and safety as much as possible. The right to pursue one's own physical condition is shamelessly labeled as "beauty-loving" is a woman's nature and every woman's choice. This convergent aesthetic takes advantage of its own voice, causing anxiety and helplessness to countless women, and stimulating women's consumption of cosmetics, weight loss products, and luxury goods. At the same time, there are many comments on public accounts that bring about unconfidence in appearance, and these comments, in turn, increase the credibility of the article, forming a vicious cycle that advocates are happy to see. Under this anxiety, anyone who dares to pursue non-sexually attractive beauty will be judged in the spotlight, thus perpetuating this anxiety and the standard itself from generation to generation.

The so-called nature is just an expression of the state of nature. The gender awareness of three-year-olds is indeed nature, but that only means knowing that the genders of father and mother are different. It does not mean knowing that one has to play with dolls when he was a child. , you have to wear high heels when you grow up; it does not mean that you know that you will be bad at science and only know liberal arts in the future; nor does it mean that you have to spend a lot of manpower and material resources to fight against natural aging throughout your life, and sacrifice your health for the so-called beauty. It is the social atmosphere that gives more meaning to this label, constantly regulating the behavior of women, and cracking down on anyone who dares not to abide by this convention, thus ensuring men's right to speak and make decisions in society. In the end, many people with vested interests blame their nature on nature. This is probably a typical example of getting a bargain and doing well. Alas, it is ridiculous, pitiful and pathetic!

Returning to the behavior of make-up in adolescence, 1. Please do not exaggerate the inevitable connection between make-up and female identity in the whole society, and on the other hand, say that women’s love for beauty in adolescence is a manifestation of free will. It's just nature. 2. On the one hand, whether your children wear makeup or not is none of your business. On the other hand, as a responsible parent, we should not encourage any beauty-loving behavior that will cause great harm to the body, unless we are sure that teenage children can realize the meaning of such harm, such as wearing high heels. of deformed bones and confirmed that she would not regret it in the future. 3. The most important point is that if you really feel that you are a pioneer of beauty and a fashionista, and you want to train your children in this direction, you must also tell your children that true beauty includes respecting personal choices and non-discrimination. You can put on makeup, Get your ears pierced, but please don't laugh at other classmates and friends who don't do it. Otherwise your outward beauty can only become a joke.

By the way, I would like to tell you a personal experience story for those female friends who said that they were laughed at and lacked confidence because they did not know how to dress up. To meet the "basic elements" of the article below, the school where I was in junior high and high school only School uniforms, short hair for girls, and no hair dyeing and accessories are allowed, but when they grow up, these girls become the most confident women I know, because on the one hand, this behavior of minimizing social status protects the self-esteem of students from disadvantaged families. Self-confidence, on the other hand, thanks to hard study and training, they have proven themselves with their strength when they grow up. There are even many people who have escaped this aesthetic prison and rushed to the embrace of more diverse aesthetics. Therefore, in this short life of a person, if you give up your cultivation simply for the pursuit of beauty, you may not even be beautiful in the end. After all, learn the idiom that lust fades and love fades.

(PS: I don’t know if anyone will say it, but I can explain it myself first for those who have touched sensitive nerves. Yes, I just don’t conform to Chinese aesthetics. What many people call “ugly” "Women make more troubles", so what, I'm not eating your rice. Men can criticize women's beauty these days. As a woman, I certainly have the right to express my own views on my own beauty, and save the potential people who have the same relationship with me. Female compatriots who have the same view. I am still very happy now~ If you don’t understand this, I can only say please click on the upper right, reading is really not suitable for you...)