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How to practice speaking and daily communication

1. Be eager to learn and make progress, strengthen knowledge accumulation

Profound knowledge is the embodiment of wisdom, and profound knowledge and wise mind come from daily learning and accumulation bit by bit. . Common sayings such as "Ten thousand-foot-high buildings rise from the ground" and "If you don't accumulate small steps, you can't reach a thousand miles", this is the truth. If a person wants to truly improve his speech and eloquence skills, he must read thousands of books as much as possible and understand Wanbanli, usually develop the habit of reading more books and newspapers. No one is born with great talents or rich knowledge, but the hard work and hard work behind a strong memory is the result of extensive knowledge.

2. Pay attention to life and strengthen life accumulation

When some people talk to others, why don’t others like to listen? The key is the lack of accumulation in life and just saying irrelevant things. It is difficult to impress people. Therefore, if you want to have good eloquence, it is obviously important to strengthen your life accumulation. The key to strengthening life accumulation is to go out, actively face life, feel life, try the ups and downs of life, appreciate the colors of life with your eyes, listen to the sounds of life with your ears, and feel the pulse of life with your heart. Because, after all, "life is not a lack of beauty, but a lack of eyes to discover beauty."

3. Keep up with fashion and grasp the pulse of the times

Today’s society is progressing very quickly. Only by keeping up with the pace of the times can what you say can attract others. If you use the tone and words of the last century to communicate with modern people, you will only be called "old-fashioned" and who will want to listen to you? Therefore, we must pay more attention to some fashionable language to keep up with the times.

4. Advocate true feelings and strengthen emotional accumulation

"Words are the voice of the heart". The most important thing for eloquence is to be emotional. Without feelings, people have no life. On the surface, eloquence is just using your mouth to describe, but in fact, it is communicating with the audience with your heart and emotions. Of course, feelings cannot arise out of thin air. They must come from daily experience and accumulation. An actor without rich emotional experience in life cannot become an outstanding actor. Similarly, a person without rich emotional experience cannot have rich emotional language. Therefore, we must pay attention to strengthening personal emotional accumulation.

Writing articles requires "reading thousands of volumes, and writing like a god". Speaking is actually the same as writing. Only when you read more things can you speak with quality, insight, and persuasion, and can impress people's hearts.

Section 4: Make your voice charming (1)

Many people love to listen to cross talk and are amused by the lifelike voices and tones in cross talk. Why is the art of cross talk that has been passed down for thousands of years still enduring? One of the reasons is that the voices of crosstalk actors are full of charm and can make people love and want to listen. Therefore, the fine jokes of art masters such as Hou Baolin and Ma Sanli are still widely circulated among the people.

Sound is the carrier of language and the medium through which we understand the outside world. Beautiful sounds can bring people beautiful enjoyment. How else could the voices of Song Shixiong, Zhao Zhongxiang and others touch so many people? People are always attracted by the magnetic baritone. When you are at a loss and helpless, the warm voice may make you suddenly ambitious and stand up again, thus making things turn around. .

So there is an ancient proverb that says, "A kind word warms a person for three winters, but a bad word hurts a person for six months." The voice does have extraordinary charm.

So, anyone who can speak well needs to have the charm of voice. If you want to make your voice attractive, you must improve your speaking ability.

So what is the ability to deliver spoken language? Simply put, it is the ability to control and change the speed and rhythm of the language, the pitch of the tone, the weight of the sound, and the interruptions of the flow of speech when speaking. It is an important part of the language image. If a person has good vocal delivery ability, not only will his pronunciation be bright and melodious, his words can be pronounced in a clear and round tone, but he will also be able to have high and low pitch, fast and slow speed, strong and weak, depending on the content of the communication, the scene, and the interpersonal relationship between the two parties. The sound has a strong sense of musical melody and charming artistic charm.

How can we improve our speaking ability?

1. Pronunciation must be accurate and enunciation clearly

Wrong reading or inaccurate pronunciation will cause a joke. There is no charm at all; the words are unclear and vague, which makes the audience feel difficult and will also reduce their confidence in receiving information.

2. Pay attention to tone and intonation

Tone is the tone of a single word, and intonation is the tone throughout the entire sentence. Both determine the pitch of the sound. Intonation can be divided into two basic types: falling intonation and rising intonation. As the tone of the sentence and the emotion of the expresser change, it can change into many types. Intonation plays a role in distinguishing the tone and meaning of a sentence. For example, "You did a good job" is said in a falling tone, which is a declarative sentence pattern, with a tone of affirmation and encouragement; said in a rising tone, it is a question sentence pattern, with a sense of distrust and sarcasm. When talking, you should pay attention to your tone of voice to enhance the charm of attracting the audience.

Section 5: Make your voice charming (2)

Pay attention to the speed and rhythm of language

When people speak, the main reason that affects the speed and rhythm is The ups and downs of people's inner emotions. The control and change of speed and rhythm can generally be achieved through the different combinations of the intensity and intensity of tones, the speed and discontinuity of articulation, various stresses, and the different combinations of long and short sentence patterns, whole sentence patterns, and tense and loose sentence patterns. People should master these rules and achieve moderate speed and slowness, fast but not chaotic, slow and continuous, so as to enhance the beauty of language images.

In addition, to improve your spoken language delivery ability, you should also pay attention to the tone of speaking, and improve the voice image from aspects such as changes in the sound intensity of the language.

"The lingering sound lingers for three days without stopping." Voice is the carrier of language. Beautiful voice can give people a kind of beautiful enjoyment and make others love to listen to what they say, so when we talk, Pay attention to making your voice contagious so that you can impress others.

Section 6: You must have some "chameleon" skills

To be popular, a person must be good at speaking, and must be able to adapt to different situations, different places, and different people. To communicate with others, to put it simply, you need to have the ability to be a "chameleon" and be able to say different things according to different situations.

Gui Guzi, a famous strategist during the Warring States Period, once summed up the method of talking with all kinds of people: "Speaking with wise people relies on biography, speaking with learned people relies on differentiation, and speaking with noble people Depend on power, talk to the rich on the basis of generosity, talk to the poor on the basis of rivers, talk to the warrior on the basis of humility, talk to the brave on the basis of courage, talk to the fool on the basis of sharpness. The words are strange, and those who speak to others must speak privately to them. "

What does this sentence mean? Translated into vernacular, it means: when talking to smart people, you need to be knowledgeable; when talking to people who are knowledgeable, you need to have analytical skills; when talking to people with high status, your attitude should be dignified; when talking to rich people, you should speak boldly; When talking to the poor, be emotional; when talking to people of low status, be humble and courteous; when talking to aggressive people, be humble; when talking to brave people, don't be timid; when talking to stupid people, be sharp. When talking to your boss, you must impress him with unique things; when talking to your subordinates, you must convince him with your personal interests.

In this regard, Wang Xifeng in "A Dream of Red Mansions" can be said to be such an example. Sister Feng is like a brilliant psychologist. She is very good at observing words and deeds. She often guesses the situation before the other person says anything. If the other person just says it, she has already done it. There are countless such examples. . When Lin Daiyu first entered Jia's house, Mrs. Wang asked: "Are you going to use materials to make clothes for Daiyu?" Sister Feng replied: "I have already prepared them."

Zhi Yanzhai once said this in his review of "A Dream of Red Mansions": She did not prepare any clothing materials, she was just trying to trick others, but Mrs. Wang nodded and believed it. There are many examples like this. And in the poetry club in Grand View Garden, Tanchun just came out and said to Sister Feng that we would like to ask you to be the "censor of the society". Sister Feng immediately guessed that you were in need of a "copper merchant to bring in money". The money in my pocket, then she said: "I will take office immediately tomorrow and put down fifty taels of silver for you to slowly become the host of the club." What she just said here, she had already guessed it, and everyone laughed, so Li Wan said: "You are really a crystal-hearted person."

Sister Feng is good at guessing the other person's psychology and is good at observing words and expressions. The examples we just cited are relatively common and ordinary examples.

Sometimes, she can make a 180-degree turn. She used to say the same thing this way and now says it another way, but she always said it in a reasonable and pleasant way.

Mrs. Nail." She blurted out, "The old lady won't be able to eat without Yuanyang, not to mention that the master will not be able to do well if he doesn't take care of himself." Instead, he advised Mrs. Xing, "It's useless to leave it alone. It's boring to recruit, don't be upset, madam, I don't dare to go." She said this first, thinking that this matter was impossible, but Mrs. She has three wives and four concubines, and such a gray-bearded one..." She said that there was nothing wrong with having a concubine. She said that the old lady may not be easy to refuse, but instead complained to Sister Feng, saying that I haven't gone yet, but you said that I am not. After hearing what Mrs. Xing said, Sister Feng knew that Mrs. Xing would not listen. Seeing that Mrs. Not to mention a girl, she is such a big living treasure. If you don't give it to the master, who will give it to you? "And she gave an example. She said that Jia Lian is the son of Mrs. Jia Shexing. "If Mr. Lian is born, the master and his wife will hate it. That way, but when you meet him, you still reward him with your favorite things." It means that the old lady treats Jia Lian like this, and parents treat their son like this. Now the old lady naturally treats the old man like that.

Look how ready and convincing her words are. At that time Mrs. Xing fell in love again. Regarding the same matter of courting mandarin ducks, two positive and negative remarks came from Sister Feng's mouth, and they were both reasonable and pleasant to the ears. This ability to adapt to the other party's psychology and make rapid changes without leaving any trace can only be seen in Sister Feng in "A Dream of Red Mansions", so we say that the speed of Sister Feng's changes is really amazing.

In modern society, there are still many such "talking" people. They live in different social environments and engage in different professions, and they all perform well in this regard. When you are in an environment, you must first understand the relationship between people, understand the likes and dislikes of everyone around you, understand what people like to hear and hate to hear, and they will say whatever they like and never say anything they dislike. Especially when faced with conflicting parties, they will try to please both sides; saying good things about one thing can scratch an itch and bring out joy from the heart; talking about the opposite can point to the pain points and touch weak spots, making people nod frequently. . When they arrive in a strange environment, they will be very cautious. They will smile to everyone, sing carols, be polite and enthusiastic to everyone, and will not say anything heartfelt to anyone. Hello, I am ok, everyone is ok. If they participate in a discussion, they will try to avoid being the first to speak out and not reveal their opinions easily. Sometimes when you are forced to speak, you will say something ambiguous and inoffensive. Once the subsequent statement is inconsistent with your own point of view, you can naturally pull back and absolutely avoid a confrontation of opinions. In front of the leader, he is even more eloquent, saying compliments and honorable words. However, because he is "well-spoken", he appears even more generous, sincere, and pleasant. He is tepid and does not appear humble. Without showing any flattery, the leader didn't dislike it, felt very comfortable, and sometimes felt relaxed and happy.

You see, having the ability of "chameleon" is so important for a person's communication. Therefore, we must pay attention to "changing color" in our lives and become a popular person. So what should we do?

First, pay attention to observing others

You must look at the person you are talking to, and determine the direction of your speech based on the different situations of the person you are speaking to. If you are a bold person, then you should speak more boldly; if you are a showy person, you should speak more civilly, so that everyone will like you. Therefore, you must pay attention to observe people before opening your mouth to speak.

Second, pay attention to the surrounding situation.

You must also look at the surrounding situation when speaking. Your speech must be appropriately integrated with the situation at the time to avoid saying inappropriate words.

Everyone also has his own hobbies and his own style. If we can grasp the other person's preferences when talking and say what others are willing to listen and like to hear, we can play a very good role. The effect makes you popular with others.

Section 7: "Etiquette" is said all over the world and everyone loves to hear it (1)

No matter what role or identity a person plays in society, politeness It has always been the rule that maintains constant interaction in relationships.

There is a saying that "respecting others is respecting yourself." A polite person will be popular everywhere and receive a warm welcome from people, while a person who is accustomed to being rude will not be liked by others.

Once upon a time, a young man was riding a horse and suddenly saw an old man passing by the roadside. He shouted on the horse: "Hey! Old man, how far is it from the inn?" The old man replied: "Five miles!" The young man galloped on his horse and hurried away. As a result, after running for more than ten miles in one breath, there was still no sign of anyone. He thought to himself: This old man is really hateful. He lies and deceives people. He must go back and teach him a lesson. While he was thinking about it, he muttered to himself: "Wu Li, Wu Li, what Wu Li!" Suddenly, he realized, isn't this "Wu Li" a homophone for "rude"? So he turned around. He rushed back and caught up with the old man. He quickly got off his horse and called out affectionately: "Old man". Before he finished speaking, the old man said: "The inn has passed by. If you don't mind, you can come." "My family lived there."

This is a widely circulated story, and its authenticity is questionable. But it tells people this truth: We must pay attention to politeness in interpersonal communication. "People who are rude don't know what's wrong with them." There is such a true story that can illustrate the consequences of a person who does not pay attention to politeness in his speech and behavior.

Section 8: "Courtesy" is said all over the world and everyone loves to hear it (2)

Politeness is a person's business card. People who speak politely will be welcomed by people everywhere. Politeness and impoliteness may seem like small things, but sometimes they can directly affect the success or failure of big things. As a celebrity said: "Politeness is the golden key to human perfection", "Politeness is the easiest thing to do, and it is also the most precious thing", "Being courteous and thoughtful does not cost money, but it is more valuable than anything else." , "Politeness can often replace the highest emotion", "The most important thing in life is politeness, which is more important than the highest wisdom and all knowledge." Therefore, we must pay attention to being polite to others in our daily interactions.

It can be said that Premier Zhou is a model of courtesy. He often said: "Being neatly dressed is a form of courtesy and shows respect for others." Although he is the Prime Minister of the State Council, he is always modest, respectful, courteous, and treats others with courtesy. Every time the waiter brought him tea, he would always stand up and take it with both hands, smile and nod in thanks; every time he inspected work, he would always shake hands with the waiters, chefs, and guards one by one, and express his cordial thanks; On the way home late at night, he always repeatedly asked the driver to drive politely and let foreign guests go first. Foreign reporters praised: "Everyone who has met him thinks he has a kind of charm, shrewd wisdom, extraordinary character, and fascinating people." When Premier Zhou passed away, some foreign newspapers said: "The whole world pays tribute to him, No one said otherwise, which is a rare thing. "Premier Zhou treated people with courtesy and won praise from people all over the world.

So how should we pay attention to the politeness of our own language when interacting with others? Generally, we need to pay attention to the "four haves and four avoidances", that is, be measured, polite, educated, and knowledgeable, and avoid privacy, superficiality, vulgarity, and taboos.

Verse 9: There is "propriety" that everyone in the world loves to hear (3)

The first is to be measured. This is the primary issue of good language and politeness. To achieve measured language, you must match language elements, know yourself and the enemy in terms of background knowledge, clarify the purpose of communication, choose a good communication style, and at the same time, pay attention to how to use words and actions to express appropriately. Of course, propriety also includes the propriety of specific words.

The second is to be polite. The etiquette of language is greetings. There are five most common idiomatic forms of etiquette language, which express the five politenesses of greetings, thanks, apologies, farewells, and reciprocations in people's communication. The greeting is "hello", the farewell is "goodbye", the acknowledgment is "thank you", and the apology is "sorry". Reciprocation is a response to thanks and apology, such as "It's okay", "It doesn't matter", "It's not in the way", etc.

The third is education. Speaking in a measured and polite manner, with knowledgeable content and elegant words is a sign of well-educated speech. Respecting and understanding others are important signs of being educated. Respect other people's private lives, clothing, furnishings, and hobbies that comply with ethics and laws, and point out tactfully and kindly when others do have shortcomings.

To understand others means to deal with them according to the situation when others are not polite.

The fourth is to be knowledgeable. In a highly civilized society, we must attach great importance to knowledge and respect talents. A knowledgeable person will be respected by society and others, while an ignorant, uneducated and superficial person will be despised by society and others.

Let’s take a look at the "Four Avoidances":

The first is to avoid privacy. Privacy refers to certain situations that cannot be disclosed or do not need to be disclosed. Some are defects and some are secrets. In modern civilized society, privacy does not need to be known to the general public except for a few relevant people who must know it. Therefore, avoiding conversations and asking questions about privacy in verbal communication is an important aspect of politeness. Europeans and Americans generally do not ask each other about their age, occupation, marriage, income, etc., otherwise it will be considered very impolite.

The second is to avoid superficiality. Shallow means not knowing, pretending to understand, speaking in layman's terms, or not speaking the right words. The speech is monotonous, the vocabulary is poor, the sentences are unclear, and white words are often uttered. If you meet shallow people and listen to their conversations with educated and knowledgeable people, you will undoubtedly feel unhappy. Society is an ocean of knowledge, and none of us can be an omnipotent doctor or a know-it-all. We should be specialized and knowledgeable, but there are always areas where we are not as good as others and there are areas where we do not understand certain knowledge. We must be modest and prudent and not make rash comments.

The third is to avoid vulgarity. Vulgarity refers to language that is rude, even filthy, full of foul language, ugly words, and dirty words, which are offensive to the ears of ancestors, sisters, descendants, and both sexes. Vulgar language is the most impolite language. It pollutes a national language.

The fourth is to avoid taboos. Taboos are phenomena, things and behaviors that humans regard as taboos. The taboo language has a conventional correspondence with the words it replaces. Taboo words commonly used in society are also an important polite language in society. They often take into account the feelings of the other party and avoid violating taboos. Here are some important types of taboo words:

The first is the taboo of words that express fear. For example, there are quite a lot of taboo words about "death", and even things related to "death" should also be taboo, such as "coffin", "longevity material", "immortality board", etc.

The second is the avoidance of the physical defects of the other party and related personnel. For example, people with severe physical defects are now commonly referred to as "disabled people", which is a more elegant taboo term.

The last is the avoidance of words for things and behaviors that cannot be disclosed in terms of morals and customs. For example, going to the toilet to relieve oneself is called "going to the bathroom".

In short, language civilization seems simple, but it is not easy to achieve it. This requires us to study more and strengthen our cultivation, so that the fine traditions of our Chinese nation, "a land of etiquette," can be further carried forward.

"Those who respect others will always be respected." Politeness is the basic accomplishment a person should have. When talking to others, polite people will give people a good impression and be respected by others. Therefore, when interacting with others, you must be polite in everything you say and do.

Section 10: Master the tone of speaking (1)

Tone plays an important role in talking to others. Some people are easy to accept and willing to accept when they speak; It is difficult for the other party to accept, unwilling to accept, or difficult to accept. The reason for this is mostly due to the difference in tone. The same sentence, if said in a different tone, will have different or even opposite effects. For example, if the three words "I love you" are said in a sincere tone, it means that one is full of true feelings for one's lover; if they are said in a glib tone, it is a different situation. Therefore, Be sure to pay attention to your tone when speaking.

Teacher Wang is very good at using his own tone to help children. There is a child in his class who is relatively withdrawn and not good at talking. He is called "mentally retarded" by other students.

After Teacher Wang became his class teacher, he got to know him deeply and often encouraged him. One time during extracurricular activities, this classmate was sitting alone in the classroom. Teacher Wang walked over and spoke to him in the gentlest and most patient voice: "I found that you listened very seriously in class, and your reaction was not slower than others." "The teacher believes that you are a smart child and as long as you study hard, you will become an excellent student." The classmate nodded thoughtfully after listening to Teacher Wang's words.

Then, Teacher Wang brought him to the children and accompanied him to participate in student activities. Under the influence of Teacher Wang, the students all competed to play games with him. Slowly, his relationship with his classmates became harmonious, his studies improved, and no one called him "mentally retarded" anymore.

In the transformation process of this classmate, the teacher's love played an important role, and this love was expressed by this kind of caring and gentle tone.

Speaking must fully express one's own meaning and emotions, but this is not achieved by the high pitch of the voice, but by the appropriateness of the tone. Although "reasonable" means "arrogant", you should also be polite if you are reasonable, and don't speak loudly if you are reasonable. Only when you are reasonable and have a decent tone will you get the "reasonable" effect. Therefore, it is very important and necessary for anyone to control the tone of speech.

Things can be light, heavy, slow, or urgent, and the tone can be suppressed, elevated, paused, or frustrated. Only by grasping the appropriate tone of speech can the words be fully understood and accepted by the other party, and the expected effect of the speech can be achieved.

Section 11: Master the tone of speaking (2)

Of course, the use of speaking tone depends on the object, occasion and time. Different situations require different tones, and the speaker needs to flexibly grasp the appropriateness.

Section 12: Control the rhythm of speaking