Ask for some jokes and stories, which are for my girlfriend. Want to be funny?

I'll give it all to you, a lot. I hope you will be happier after reading it! The point is that I work so hard, give me some!

Tutu said, "My mother calls me Tutu, which is nice!" "

The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" " "

The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "

The chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

The rabbit said, "I am a rabbit!" " "

The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "

The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

No.0 sparring partner said, "outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice!" "

No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!"

No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!"

No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!"

The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "

The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice!" " "

The fish said to me, "I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice!" " "

The bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "

Lang Ke said: "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"

The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"

The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "

The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first."

Jane Zhang said: "My fans say my idol is Ying."

He Jie said: "My fans say my idol is Jay."

Said: "fans who worship me say: my idol is constant."

Chris Lee said: "You talk, I walked first.

The senior math teacher said that I will teach senior math this semester.

The college physics teacher said: I teach big this semester.

The analog electronics teacher said that I teach analog electronics this semester.

The socialist economy teacher said: You talk, I'll go first.

Peking University said: I am from Peking University.

Tianjin University said: I am older.

Shanghai University said: I went to college.

Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first!

General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man!

General fu said to him: I am just!

General Zuo Quan said: I have this right!

General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first.

Minolta users say: we are beautiful women!

Canon users say: we are beautiful!

The user of Huaguang said: We are from China!

Nikon users said: you chat, I'll go first.

The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door.

Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic.

The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is a brick door.

Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first!

Bai Yu said: My name is White.

Jade jade said, my name is jasper.

Redjade said, My name is Redjade.

Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first!

The students of normal college said: I am from normal college.

The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute"

The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.

The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first!

I have been friends with you for so long, and you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. ...

So ... I will be a cow and a horse in my next life ... and I will definitely pull up grass for you to eat. ...

I miss you very much, but I am embarrassed to call you. I'm afraid you're busy, you ignore me, you think I'm harassing me, I really want to contact you, but …

The telephone bill is really expensive, please call me!

If you were a meteor, I would chase you.

If you were a satellite, I would wait for you.

If you were a star, I would fall in love with you.

Unfortunately ... you are an orangutan ~ I can only see you in the zoo! !

Oh, what a pity! !

I'm so confused now. I don't know what I was thinking. ..

My mind is bored to death .. I really don't know what to do. ..

Can you tell me ... I really don't know whether to eat Regan Noodles or Ah Q bucket noodles!

Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated and helping me when I needed help most. There are thousands of words to say.

Just want to tell you:

"Nothing good has happened since I met you! You are a loser! 」

6. I'm sorry I texted you so late ~ ~

If it bothers you ~ ~ I'll tell you here ~ ~

Serves you right ~ ~ Who told you to go to bed earlier than me ~ ~ ~ Hehe! !

7.

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart.

Falling in love with you is my happy choice.

Having you is my most precious wealth.

Stepping into the red carpet is my eternal motivation.

The person you love forever is you.

Unfortunately ~ I sent it to the wrong person

8. Hello, this is the Bra Inspection Bureau.

We have found that your breasts have violated Article 7 of Chapter 2 of the "Cup Control Law" "Regulations on Severe and Extremely sagging breasts"!

So we must force you to get breast implants, or you will be wanted!

Because of you, I believe in fate.

Maybe all this is predestined by heaven, pulling us together, and now I really want to say …

What evil did I do in my last life!

10. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city!

Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

1 1. God saw your desire and created water;

God saw that you were hungry and created rice.

God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me;

However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way.

12. If it is stipulated that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you.

Till death do us part, I have no regrets!

But there are no rules ... then forget it!

13. It's a pleasure to miss you!

Nice to meet you!

Loving you is what I will always do!

Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing!

But I lied to you, and it just happened! Ha ha!

14. The phone is ringing, which means I am thinking of you!

Two voices mean I like you!

Three voices mean I love you!

When the seventh sound sounded. ...

Shit, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone!

15. According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads use thumb buttons to read short messages!

Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late. Pig head!

hahaha

16. I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away;

I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea;

I wrote your name in every corner …

Fuck, I was taken away by the police!

17. If it's a mistake to look good … then I'm all wet.

If loveliness is a crime ... I have committed a heinous crime.

It's hard to be a man! ... you'll be fine ~ Yes, you're not guilty ... I envy you.

18.

When the white clouds pass by, it is the trace of my missing you;

When the sun shines, that's my miss for you;

When it rains, it is proof that I miss you;

When it thundered, that's when I prayed to heaven that you were hit ... haha-

19. If I can meet you after burning incense for a year,

It took three years to get to know you.

It takes ten years to cherish you, S.

For the happiness of my next life, I am willing to ... convert to Christianity. ...

I'll give it all to you, a lot. I hope you will be happier after reading it! The point is that I work so hard, give me some!