Humorous stories about chemistry

1. Recently, a new homologue of benzene was discovered, called Japanese benzene. Properties: colorless crystal, with special smell, high density, highly toxic, corrosive, flammable and explosive. If a small amount of aldehyde is added, its toxicity and corrosiveness will increase. If "Shinzo Abe" is added, a toxic substance called "Unannounced ginseng-cyanoarsenic-14- methyl war criminal-radon dioxin-Japanese benzene" will be produced.

2. Is magnesium sulfate soluble? What? The answer is? Fool, I am asking if sulfuric acid can beautify your face. ...

3. Teacher: Can the metathesis reaction produce gold?

Student: Yes.

Teacher: Please write the chemical equation.

Students write: As+Cu = = = Au+CS.

The sodium metal in the laboratory caught fire yesterday. In order to put out the fire, the water in the laboratory is almost used up. ...

A bottle of hydrochloric acid was suddenly poured yesterday, but it was suddenly filled with salt and acid. Great! You don't need to buy spices in the kitchen for the time being.

6. Do you know what a UFO is? Ufo？ Old school! UFO is uranium hypofluoride! ! ! I cann't believe such a stuffy person said it was a UFO ...

7. Do you know why soda ash is put in steamed bread? Because soda ash is hydrolyzed to produce caustic soda, steamed bread can be cooked. ...

8. Do you know how to make nitroglycerin easily? Tell you a secret-if you eat glycerol, it will be digested in your stomach and become nitroglycerin. I wouldn't say anything about ordinary people. ...

9. At the long-distance bus station, a man rushed over with a big bucket of things. He pushed his way through the crowd and tried to get on the bus. The conductor asked, "Hello, what is this?" The man gasped and squeezed up and said, "Alcohol." "No, no, this is flammable and can't be taken with you." The conductor said with a frown. The man shouted again, "This is ethanol". "Why didn't you say so earlier? Come on! " The conductor complained with a smile. The bus finally started.

A chemist, a physicist and a geologist are walking along the beach. Suddenly, the physicist said that he wanted to measure the depth of the sea, so he jumped into it. The geologist said he wanted to see the topography of the seabed, and then he jumped. The chemist waited for a while, but they didn't show up, so he came to the conclusion that both physicists and geologists are soluble in seawater.

In chemistry class, the teacher explained the meaning of saturated solution. "A solvent can only dissolve a solute. For example, if you eat a bowl of rice, eat another bowl, and the third bowl is full, can you still eat? " A student asked, "Is there anything to eat?"

12, two biochemists were sitting in front of the laboratory drinking coffee, and a beautiful woman walked by. Seeing the dementia expression on his colleague's face, the elderly biochemist said, "She is more than 75% water like us." Colleagues still look stupid and say, "Yes, but look at their surface tension!" " "

13, teacher: "Can you explain the law of immortality of matter?" Student: "Last month, my family bought 100 kg of honeycomb coal, and the coal ash left after burning is still 100 kg. This is the law of immortality of matter. "

14. In chemistry class, a sleeping student was called up by the teacher and asked, "Do you know what lead tetroxide is?"

The student slowly opened his eyes and replied blankly, "teacher, I only have a pair of eyes." How do I know what it means to shoot three times in four eyes? "

15. In a chemistry class in high school, the teacher copied the blackboard "the relationship between the periodic table of elements and the properties of metal elements", and the teacher accidentally didn't write the word "quality" on the blackboard. As a result, the words "the periodic table of elements and the sexual relationship of metal elements" on the blackboard were so big that everyone fainted, especially a girl in the front row smiled at the table for half a class.