Who can tell me some jokes that play tricks on people

The first time, when I came back from abroad, I just got off the train and found that the zipper of my bag was not zipped. Open it and the information is still there. However, there are a few lines written by thieves in the blank of the information: such a beautiful bag, there is no money in it, and you have no money to install it. Waste my feelings!

The second time, when I was resting at home during the day and surfing the internet, I suddenly heard a voice from the kitchen. I walked over and looked at it gently. It turned out that thieves had pried open my security door and window. I took out my kitchen knife and went over to him and said, "What are you doing? If you don't leave, I will call the police. " The thief unhurriedly packed his tools, and then threw a sentence at me: "You are sick, there are people at home, make a scene!" " Busy for a long time. "Said turned to leave. ...

The third time, I walked alone in the street. A 10-year-old boy took out my clothes pocket. I turned to him and said, "What did you take out, son?" "Nonsense, money, of course." The child replied. I thought he was a child, so I threatened him and said, "I have no money, so don't pay any more, or I'll send you to the public security bureau." The child glared at me and said, "You have no money, why are you so fierce?" After leaving angrily, I was too angry to speak.

The fourth time, I came home from the night shift. It's getting late. I was taking a bath in the bathroom when I heard a noise at the door. It seems that someone is trying to pry open my door lock. So I shouted, "Who? What are you doing? " Who knows the thief replied at the door: "Don't sleep so late?" There was no sound after that. I am at a loss, in distress situation. ...