In the end, I ended up living the life I hated the most.

I once heard a joke: The saddest thing for people is that their money is gone when they are alive. What is even sadder than this is that they still keep their money after they die.

I think this is all material torture. When a person is alive and the money is gone, you can actually still earn it. When a person dies, the money is still there, but you can’t control it anyway! Just listen to it as a joke

There are actually many jokes in life, such as slowly becoming the person you once hated most...

As we grow up, people are constantly changing. change. I don’t think that the original, original one is necessarily absolutely good and right. Depending on the life experience, there are countless possibilities for the development of the story.

The so-called "looks I once hated" happened in the past, and there are many limitations in judging based on the cognition at the time.

Just like once upon a time, I always regarded myself as aloof, and from the bottom of my heart I hated people who were busy pursuing wealth. Later, I discovered how amazing it is to be able to make money on your own. Creating wealth makes people happy. The reason why I originally "viewed money as dirt" was because I lacked life experience and experience, and was used to "nerdy" talk on paper and escaping from reality.

After studying psychology, and looking at it from the perspective of psychoanalytic psychology, "the way I once hated" may be exactly what I really look like.

Psychologist Zeng Qifeng believes, "You hate a person because he has something you have; you often criticize someone in front of others, but in fact, you subconsciously want to get close to him."

In psychoanalytic terms, it can be explained by "projection" and "reverse formation".

We often "project" those parts of ourselves that are not accepted by ourselves. Just like many people hate people who love to be pushy and expressive, and always think that such people are too narcissistic. In fact, the "narcissism" they hate is exactly the part of them that they also have but cannot be accepted by themselves.

"Reverse formation" is also very common. People often transform subconsciously unacceptable desires and impulses into opposite behaviors in consciousness. For example, Alan Chambers, chairman of Exodus, the largest "anti-gay" group in the United States, has promoted the idea that "homosexuality can be treated" for many years and promoted its treatment methods through 260 churches, seriously harming countless people. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender. Finally in June 2013, he claimed that he could no longer "act", disclosed his homosexuality, admitted that "all gay treatments are scams, I have never seen anyone succeed", and announced that " Exodus” group disbands.

Through the mirror of "projection" and "reverse formation", you can see:

The reason why you hate people who are lazy and lazy is because you have a "chewy and lazy" side in you;

You hate lustful people because you have a lustful side;

You hate selfish people because you have a selfish side.

When you list the traits you hate, you will find that these traits are actually more or less inherent in you, but it is difficult for you to admit them on a conscious level. , to face, because most of these characteristics are not allowed in morality or reality.

In Jungian psychology terms, this part is called the "shadow." Many people unknowingly live in a way they once hated, precisely because the "shadow" often comes from the instinctive part of the subconscious. The power of instinct is huge, enough to make us unable to control ourselves.

However, when we live in a way that we once hated, our first reaction is to deny it! Exclusion! escape!

We spend a lot of psychological resources fighting instincts, trying to get rid of the "shadow". This is the source of inner conflict and struggle for many people.

In order to hide the inner "shadow", we usually "shape" and "package" a beautiful external image of ourselves. Jungian psychology calls this part the "personality mask."

The more perfect your "persona" becomes, the deeper your "shadow" may be.

We often see in many criminal investigation film and television dramas that the person who has the least motive and suspicion for committing the crime is most likely to be the most vicious criminal. Usually such people will show a righteous and awe-inspiring appearance in the drama. Every time the mystery is solved, the plot will give us an "unexpected, reasonable" sudden realization. We never tire of such "routines" because what is shown here is the truest human nature.

In reality, when we really live like "what we hate", it can be understood that we have begun to face our shadow and strive to make the shadow a part of ourselves. This is not a bad thing. From a certain perspective, this is the only way to integrate personality and become your true self.

You hate lustful people, when you live out your "lovely and lazy" side, you live out your own "self";

You hate lustful people, when you live out your When you show your "lustful" side, you live out your own "sexual instinct";

You hate selfish people, when you live out your "selfish" side, you live out your own "boundaries" ".

When you are aware of the rationality behind the "annoying look", you can better bring the suppressed "shadows" into the light and truly transform them into a positive inner self. resource.

When the "shadow" is transformed through your awareness, reflection, and acceptance, you can live more truly, freely, and comfortably.

"Like" and "hate", "beautiful" and "ugly" are just two sides of the same coin. The world is never black and white. In the free space from dark gray to light gray, as long as you do not violate the "bottom line" of morality and law, I encourage you to live out the side of yourself that you once hated.

In the sun

In the light, you see your own shadow. In the dark, you and the shadow become one. This is real life, this is the real you.

Congratulations, you have finally become the person you once hated most