# Jingjing Jingjing # Love Xu Jiru, where is the gap between Beauty Xueba and Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong?

Not for a year. When Xu Jiru stood on the stage of The Story of Chipa again, his eyes were haggard and tired, as if he were a different person.

As soon as she appeared in the audition, she said, "I'm the old wonderful flower that Qiba said last year", and then her eyes got wet.

When she spoke, she still didn't have the courage to look the audience in the eye. She still hasn't got over her past failures.

Seeing her timid and haggard appearance, I sympathize with her and feel a little distressed.

You know, how many parents were excited when Xu Jiru first walked into the public eye with the aura of "Tsinghua+Harvard"!

You see, isn't this the ultimate goal of raising a baby? Beautiful, smart, intellectual, confident ... it seems that all the beautiful words are extremely suitable for her.

In addition to excellent academic qualifications, Xu Jiru is also the image ambassador of the Youth Olympic Games, the champion of the national English speech contest, the runner-up of 16 "I am an orator" ... a proper beauty scholar! Which parent is not tempted?

This is the standard "other people's children", which is a bit too good. Parents secretly wonder, how can we push our baby harder and get closer to such a schoolmaster?

Unfortunately, Xu Jiru soon experienced a storm of public opinion attacks. From "praise from the whole network" to "ridicule from the whole network", it seems to be overnight.

But overnight, it took Ji Xu a whole year to recover, and he still lived in failure.

After experiencing cyber violence and depression, Xu Jiru is back. She wanted to regain her self-confidence on the stage of the seventh season "The Story of Qi Dad", but her mentors didn't give her a chance.

Where did Xu Jiru lose? What "pits" should parents avoid if they want to raise excellent babies?

When I saw my mentors Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong, I suddenly understood.

She is neither so sober as Yang Mi nor so considerate as Cai Kangyong, and neither of them has high emotional intelligence.

1.

Not as sober as Yang Mi.

Some people are vilified once and bow their heads forever. Since then, their eyes have lost confidence and light. They were not defeated by reality, but by their own emotions.

And Yang Mi won't. Her famous saying is: I gave up my feelings.

She really did it. I have to say, Yang Mi, who grew up in hot search, is really sober.

Do you think the dense black substance will crush her to death? Thought being questioned about cheating on donations would make her collapse? Or will being laughed at by the group crush her? There was nothing. Yang Mi, like a strong fighter, became more and more frustrated in the turbulent bad comments.

A strong heart needs constant self-reinforcement. Yang Mi's confidence is the confidence in his bones, so he is invincible.

Look at Xu Jiru, growing up very well all the way. She has been fighting for honor and has no time to hone her heart. Therefore, Excellence is just her shell and her fortress.

All her self-confidence is based on "others' affirmation of her".

Once the affirmation turned into denial, praise turned into ridicule, and her inner world was suddenly shattered. Yes, the world of Xueba is so fragile. Because the fort collapsed.

In this era, everyone may encounter cyber violence. Xu Jiru didn't suffer more and more severe spray than Yang Mi, but she immediately fell down and never recovered. Yang Mi, on the other hand, became more and more brave and made himself famous for more than ten years.

A woman with such a clear and powerful heart is really admirable!

2.

Not as sympathetic as Cai Kangyong.

Cai Kangyong is a very special existence in the center of the entertainment circle, but he has two egos, good and evil. On the one hand, it is entertaining, on the other hand, it is profound and sharp, and looks at the world coldly with a childlike heart.

Li Dan talks with Xu Zhiyuan in Thirteen Invitations. He ranked the four mentors mentioned by Qiba, and Cai Kangyong had the lowest "energy block". He said that Gao He is very similar, both are aristocratic men and have read poetry books. But their lifestyles and attitudes towards the world are completely different.

Li Dan prefers Cai Kangyong, and his evaluation of Cai Kangyong is in place:

Who doesn't like and admire such Cai Kangyong?

They are also elites and talented people. Why does everyone feel comfortable and willing to listen when Cai Kangyong speaks? When Xu Jiru spoke, everyone felt oppressed.

Because Xu Jiru's empathy is poor.

Cai Kangyong is too understanding. He can always stand in other people's perspective and project on their needs. He always puts himself in others' shoes. Even if his output is sharp, his expression is harmonious and never aggressive.

Xu Jiru, on the other hand, is sharper than empathy. Every point of view she outputs is an elite perspective, and it is difficult for ordinary people to resonate.

Perhaps, Xu Jiru learned the lesson from last year. When she rallied and returned to the stage this year, she put herself very low, as if she had fallen into the dust.

She hopes to "get rid of others" and cater to the public by changing herself.

I can see that she wants to change her position and think of ordinary people. She softened and lost her edge. But what she said still failed to reach people's hearts, and no one even listened.

As an "ordinary person", Xu Jiru lost confidence and self at the same time.

She forgot what Cai Kangyong said, "Emotional intelligence means that you can handle yourself, not others, because others can't."

3.

Come out to mix, you must have high emotional intelligence.

Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong are both experts in EQ. They don't embarrass others, and they will never compromise themselves to cater to others.

Obviously, Xu Jiru has not learned this yet. She is competing with herself, and she loses by "wronged herself".

The debate contest Xu Jiru prepared this year is the one he lost last year. She really wants to "get up from where she fell." But seeing her state, the mentor group seems to foresee that her fate will be "where to fall and where to fall."

I can feel her caution through the screen. She tried her best to keep her advantage, but the opinions she exported could not convince others at all.

Because, everyone can see that it is not the real Xu Jiru. She won't and can't do it.

Xu He looked at Xu Jiru, and their eyes were full of the word "love". Their efforts to persuade her not to let her continue to participate in the competition are actually the best protection for her.

It's a lucky thing that Xu Jiru stopped during the audition for Seven Bullies. After all, not everyone can be Yang Mi and Cai Kangyong.

Moreover, there is more than one track in life, so why stick to a "seven-eight theory" stage?

Perhaps Xu Jiru, who came out of the "Chipa Theory", can really be himself and start an unknown life again with the care and blessing of his mentors. I wish the beauty self-repair and cheer up again.

Finally, Dundun's teachings from Cai Kangyong to all teachers:

I wish our future, we all have more and better choices and shine in the circle that suits us.

I hope that we and our children can learn to be brave, strong and be themselves from these excellent people.