Short, humorous, healthy and positive jokes

Short, humorous, healthy and positive jokes

Short, humorous, healthy and positive jokes. Many people often feel too stressed in life, so humorous and positive jokes are a great way to relieve stress. , many people like to watch jokes to relieve stress in their free time. Let’s watch short humorous, healthy and positive jokes. Short, humorous, healthy and positive jokes 1

"1. There is a boy in the junior high school class who has an A finger. When he was injured, he shouted, "I'm in trouble!" Another boy, B, immediately said kindly, "I told you not to compete with the dog for food." "A replied angrily, "Damn C, how the hell did I know your dad was so cruel?"

2. A: Is this a warning from God?

In Suzhou, It’s raining heavily outside, and a bolt of lightning just hit the ground not far from me (while smoking on the balcony). Is God warning me, because I’m watching some Japanese movies?

B: He is reminding you to use Thunder

3. Today, in order to get my husband interested in ironing clothes, I bought an ironing board. Usually, there is a beautiful woman wearing a bathing suit on it, and the bathing suit will disappear when the board is exposed to heat.

,,, ,,,A Chongchong: Xiaohua, did you use my pencil? Xiaohua: No, I am useless. Chongchong: You are really useless? Xiaohua: I am really useless! Chongchong: Alas, you are the 17th one. A person who admits that he is useless. B Chongchong: Tiantian, do you have a ruler? Tiantian: No. Chongchong: Shameless person.

4. "Japanese Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori." He never speaks without thinking, and always says the wrong thing, which has earned him much ridicule from the media. This made him almost lose the election on June 25. This is the story of Prime Minister Mori's visit to the United States.

Everyone. Knowing that Prime Minister Mori's English was not very good, before going to the United States, the reporters felt that if the Prime Minister of the Empire of Japan could not speak a simple greeting in English, it would be too embarrassing for Japan, the country of God, and they were left to their own devices to brainstorm ideas. : Let’s do it this way. After meeting, first reach out your hand and say to Clinton, “How are you?” Clinton will definitely say, “I am fine, and you?” Prime Minister Mori replied, “Me too!” and leave the rest to him. Let the translator take care of it. Prime Minister Mori was overjoyed that so many reporters were so kind. He kept practicing on the government plane, flying over the Pacific Ocean at night, and could hear Yoshiro Mori murmuring in his dream, practicing his American pronunciation.

,,,,,,,"

5. The famous British philosopher Herbert Spencer never married. Once he met two friends on the road. A friend asked him: "Don't you regret your celibacy?"

Spencer happily replied: "People should be satisfied with the decisions they make, and I am satisfied with my decisions. . I often comfort myself like this: There is a woman somewhere in this world who is happy because she is not my wife." Short, humorous, healthy and positive jokes 2

1. Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you!

2. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

3. Rich People eventually get married.

4. Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being deceived.

5. You are not afraid of being used, but you are afraid of being useless. Short humorous healthy positive jokes 3

1. Giraffe and Little White Rabbit

The giraffe said: "Little rabbit, I really hope you can know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what Whatever delicious food I eat will slowly pass through my long neck, so I can enjoy the delicious food for a long time. "

The little white rabbit looked at him expressionlessly.

"And, in the summer, the cool water slowly flows over my long neck, which is so delicious.

It’s so nice to have a long neck! Little white rabbit, can you imagine? "

The little white rabbit said slowly: "Have you ever vomited? ”

2. The magical little white rabbit

One day, the kangaroo was driving around on the country road and suddenly saw the little white rabbit in the middle of the road, with its ears and body almost completely lying down. He seemed to be listening to something on the ground...

So, the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously: "Little white rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?" ”

“A large truck passed here half an hour ago...”

“Wow, it’s so awesome!” ,,How did you know? ,,"

"His ****! This is how my neck and legs were broken,"

3. Happy Little White Rabbit

There was a little white rabbit running happily in the forest. On the road, it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana. The little white rabbit said to the giraffe: "Giraffe, giraffe, why do you do things that hurt yourself? Look how beautiful this forest is, let's go out in nature together Let's run!"

The giraffe looked at the marijuana cigarette and the little white rabbit, then threw the marijuana cigarette behind him and followed the little white rabbit running in the forest.

Later They met an elephant who was about to take cocaine. The little white rabbit said to the elephant: "Elephant, why do you do things that hurt yourself? Look how beautiful this forest is, let's go together." Run in nature!"

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the little white rabbit, then threw the cocaine behind him and followed the little white rabbit and the giraffe running in the forest.

Later they met a lion who was preparing to take heroin. The little white rabbit said to the lion: "Lion, why do you do things that hurt yourself? Look at how beautiful this forest is. Let's run in nature together!"

The lion looked at the syringe and looked at the little white rabbit, then threw the syringe behind him, rushed over and beat the little white rabbit hard.

The elephant and giraffe were trembling with fear: "Why did you hit the little white rabbit? It is so kind, caring about our health and letting us get closer to nature."

Lion He said angrily: "This bastard rabbit, every time he takes ecstasy, he drags me around in the forest like an idiot."

4. Little White Rabbit and Ants

The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly encountered an elephant. The ant quickly dug into the soil and stretched out one leg.

The little white rabbit was very curious when he saw it and asked: What are you doing? < /p>

The ant quietly said to it:

Shhh... don't make any noise, watch me stumble and somersault...