Selected children's jokes

At the gate of a primary school, Xiaogang pulls Xiaohong.

Xiaogang said to Xiaohong, "You got me pregnant, and you should be responsible!" " "

Xiaohong exclaimed, "Kissing has nothing to do with having children?"

Xiao Gang: "Of course! If you don't believe me, go back and ask mom and dad if they are biological! "

Step 2 eat fish and chicken

Child: "Dad, Xiaohua's father swims very well. Why not? "

Dad: "Xiaohua's father always eats fish, so he can swim." Dad, I don't often eat fish. How can I swim? "

Child: "But, Dad, you always eat chicken. Can you lay eggs? "

3. Enlightenment from Napoleon

In class, the history teacher was talking about Napoleon when he suddenly saw some students dozing off. The teacher couldn't help feeling: "Dear students, Napoleon only slept for three hours every day. What inspiration did you get from it? "

The student replied: "Not enough sleep!"

4. Mom ate me.

My four-year-old daughter is always curious about this and that. She once pestered me to ask where she came from. But I couldn't twist it, so I lifted my clothes to show her the scar on my stomach by caesarean section. I thought I could educate her and let her know that it is not easy to be a mother, so I said, "You did this." The daughter is puzzled: "I didn't." "This is where you asked the doctor to take it out." I said, my daughter was frightened: "In your belly?" I said, "Yes." My daughter burst into tears. "Mom is a monster, mom is a monster, and she ate me!" "Crying and running to find her father!

5. Dad's homework

After class, the teacher said to Xiaoming, "Let your grandfather come to school."

Xiao Ming asked the teacher, "Teacher, don't you need to call me Dad?"

Teacher: "No, Xiao Ming, just call you grandpa. I want to tell him that his son answered many questions wrong in your homework. "

6. Who is the most obedient

A father with five children brought a toy home. He called the children and asked them who had the most right to get the toy.

"Who is the most obedient, never talks back to his mother and does everything well?"

After a silence, the children said in unison, "Dad, you can only play by yourself."

7. Interesting things after zero zero

Two days ago, on the bus, two high school girls chatted and said, Do you know that some classes actually fell in love with an uncle in 1996? In' 88, I had three black lines in the back seat. . .

My daughter is two and a half years old. I taught her to brush her teeth, starting with gargling, but I couldn't teach her anything. My daughter always swallows the water in her mouth until she sees a glass of water. I want to teach her again. . .

My daughter patted her belly and said to me, "Dad, you brush, I don't brush, I'm full."

A child is very playful, and his exam results are always poor.

Father warned him not to take him out to play if this continues.

After the exam, he said to the teacher, "Would you please give me 100 this time?"

The teacher said, "How can this be done? You can only get 20 points. "

He thought for a moment and said, "Well, give 100 this time, and then deduct 10 every time until 80 points are deducted."

8. Xiong Haizi haunts

I'm a girl from Northeast China, my niece's primary school, and my background has been explained. Today, I went to the English cram school to pick her up. The English teacher told me that your children are too northeast. Today, I translated a sentence, what are you doing now? What are you doing now? Only my niece translated it. What about you, Gaha …

My brother lives in Bao Xiao, and the kindergarten teacher asked: Who wants to be the monitor?

Every child is scrambling to call himself a soldier, and his brother's little treasure is there and can't see anything.

The teacher asked: Don't you want to be a monitor?

Bao Xiao replied: I want to be a village head.

My colleague added another daughter. I heard that my eldest daughter was jealous of her sister recently. She used to tease their eldest daughter: "Yuanyuan, can you lend your sister to your aunt for a few days?"

As a result, Xiong Haizi said, "Yes, you don't have to send it back."

Xiao Ming comes home from school and has guests at home. His mother introduced him and said, "This is my cousin."

Cousin.

"This is my cousin."

Cousin.

This is cousin.

"How are all ideograms!"

"Pa", I was slapped by my mother.

Xiaoming cried in grievance. "Yes," Xiao Ming said while crying.

Neighbor pregnant woman (second child) began to have a stomachache last night, so she packed up and rushed to the hospital. Her four-year-old daughter followed reluctantly, muttering, "It's only at night that you think about having a baby, but you don't say anything during the day and watch TV all day ..."

My husband and I make fun of my son because he is not good at math. My son flew into a rage and pointed at us like a rainbow and said, are you two embarrassed? Bullying such an old child, a 36 and a 39, add up ... total ... the wind blows hard. ...

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