Lovelorn, unhappy, what jokes are there to be happy about?

The following hope can help you [smile] [smile]

Your dog doesn't know you can make mistakes. When you get up at night and trip over it in the dark, it will only think that you got up just to kick its head. # If you trip over a cat. . . Cat: "what a surprise!" " " #

In the duel with him, her veil was lifted. Burying her face, she said, "This is the rule of our sect. When you meet a man who looks like me for the first time, either I kill him or I marry him. You fight better than me, and I can't kill you, so I decided to ... "She went on to say," Abolish this rule. " # This decision. . . . #

I didn't go home until half past eleven after playing with my classmates last night. Walking alone on the road. Suddenly I saw a vague figure in the distant light, with moist eyes and warm heart. It's so late, he's still waiting for me at the gate of the community. This is the person I love most in my life, my father. . . What embarrassed me a little was the stick in his hand. . .

Zhuangzi and Keiko play together on Hao's bridge. Zhuangzi said: "How leisurely the fish in the river are in the river. This is the happiness of the fish." . "Keiko said," you are not a fish, where do you know that fish is happy? " ? " Zhuangzi said, "You are not me. How do you know that I don't know that fish are happy?" ? "Keiko said," knowing my son is nothing like my father. "

I met a junior high school female classmate in the restaurant. She didn't remember me, so I reminded her, "Do you remember the boy who was punished for kissing you in the Woods in junior high school?" Her little face turned red, and she said excitedly, "Are you that person at that time?" I smiled in shame. "Yes, I turned me in!" # Enemies meet! #

Today, I went shopping. There is a woman walking in front of me. This is normal. Suddenly, it's like I'm possessed by a ghost. I scratched my hands everywhere, stomped my feet there desperately, and shouted pain in nonsense ... The night was so scary that I told my friends to go away quickly. I have a bad feeling that I seem to be throwing cigarette butts at others ... # Grab it and hit it! #

Joke: 1 Reverse thinking: He/she is also lovelorn.

Second, what two people have already thought about: we will always be together.

Third, only the Monkey King is qualified to say: Love you for ten thousand years!

Fourth, the secret that can't be told: this is my last love.

5. Classic pop songs: There will be the song "Happy Break-up".

Conclusion: Breaking up is inevitable. Please don't be sad for too long. Everyone is unique in this world. Clean up your mood and love yourself from today. Only by being good to yourself can we love others better. I wish you real happiness as soon as possible!

Finally, I would like to share with you a poem from the movie Two Tigers: If life deceives you, don't be sad or impatient! Keep calm on a blue day: believe in it and a happy day will come! The heart always yearns for the future; I am often depressed now. Everything is instantaneous, and everything will pass; And what has passed will become a kind of nostalgia.

There are many jokes, but other platforms can't pass the audit.

I sent you a lot of photos to make you happy.

This dog looks like me when I was at school.

Well, since the subject is unhappy, I can't help it! I have to make you happy.

1. Last night, I drove a BMW X5 and stopped at the roadside to wait for someone. After a while, a head leaned to the window and asked, "Are you leaving?" I thought to myself, I'm not driving a taxi. He replied, "No! Soon he issued a ticket for refusing to leave the scene.

When I was in college, I went to KTV as a waiter every night in order not to ask my parents for living expenses. Once, several coal bosses from northern Shaanxi came and gave me a tip of 3000 yuan when they left. At that time, it made me very happy. At noon the next day, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant, ordered something that I usually want to eat but didn't want to eat, and then walked around in buy buy and bought it. Finally, I went back to school with big bags and small bags. On the way, my girlfriend burst into tears and cried and said to me: You promised not to sell your own! "

I ...

Yesterday, my ex-girlfriend got married and invited me. I'm glad to meet many old friends. After drinking for thirty years, my brain suddenly shorted out. I stood up and said: the bride's ex-boyfriend stood up and let's have a drink! So two thirds of the people at the table stood up.

Never forget the groom's expression at that time ~

1. The martial arts in the world are fast and unbreakable! The real master is to judge the opponent's intention at the moment when he is about to make a move, and then worry his opponent to death. Let me give you the simplest example, such as: Mom, I think ... Mom: I have no money. ...

2. Daughter-in-law accidentally fell to the ground while playing with her mobile phone, and both the mobile phone case and battery fell out, which contained 100 yuan. My daughter-in-law looked at me and said, "Explain!" I panicked and said, "Oh, my God! The fall was really embarrassing, and the phone bill was dropped. " I grabbed my daughter-in-law's phone and threw it on the bed. A man climbed out of bed. I said angrily, "What's the matter?" The daughter-in-law panicked and said, Oh, my God, all the contacts have fallen out!

3. Just after dinner at night, my mother woke up: "Come on, walk the dog with me!" I was at a loss: "Mom, we don't have a dog?" My mother didn't speak. She looked at me with a wry smile and disgust.

My classmates complained to me as soon as they met, saying that he always had night sweats some time ago and sweated when he fell asleep. The hospital examination cost hundreds of dollars, and then he found an old Chinese doctor and prescribed more than a dozen pairs of Chinese medicines, all of which didn't work, getting worse every day. I asked, "What happened? Cured? " When asked about this, I obviously saw my classmate's mouth twitch and said angrily, "I changed a thin quilt."

6. I have read an article, which contains a very philosophical statement. I especially like it: freedom is not what you want to do, but what you don't want to do! After dinner, I recommended this wonderful sentence to my wife. After hearing this, she struck the table: let you wash the dishes so much bullshit! -

7. Why do women always say to benefactors in costume dramas that "little women have nothing to repay, but only commit themselves to each other"? Did this phenomenon really exist in ancient times? Nonsense, that's because she likes him. If she doesn't like him, she will say: my little girl has nothing to repay, and she will definitely repay in the afterlife. -

8. Some time ago, I couldn't resist the temptation to put a month's salary into P2P. Today, I found that the website could not log in, so I contacted customer service crazily. Finally, I got in touch. I quickly asked, "Did your platform run away?" The customer service replied, "OK, sir, is there anything else I can do for you?" Me. . .

The next man (woman) is not necessarily better, but at least it will be updated.