Crosstalk lines (preferably no more than 15 minutes) are funny.

A: As a crosstalk performer, we should pay attention to observing life. The creation of crosstalk works comes from life! Good cross talk works come from solid life experience ... What are you doing?

Shut up! I'm watching!

A: Oh, observe life!

B: Observe beautiful women! There is one in front, the sea, the fairy sister!

A: Be careful not to be beaten into a pervert! After my observation, I found that most of our campus are good students! But I don't mind you calling me that! ! !

B: Cold. Do you know how I felt when I first met you?

How do you think?

I never want to see you again!

A: Me? Is it beautiful enough to scare you? Forget it, let's not discuss this problem. Ok, but how can there be bad students like you in our school? It really ruined the school spirit. B: Hey, hey, hey, we're talking about cross talk. Why are you talking about me? No, tell me where I look like a bad student. A: There is a very important condition.

B: If you say so, I have an important condition that I am a bad student!

A: handsome?

You see, he admitted that I was handsome.

A: Who admitted it? I said antonym.

B: You, do you know what the girls in our class say about me?

A: I don't know!

B: They say I look like Alejandro Delfino on my left and Tony Leung Chiu Wai on my right.

A: From the front, it looks like eating food!

B: You are a foodie! There is a poem written especially for me.

A: What poem?

B: If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. If being cool is a mistake, I have made mistakes again and again; If I have to be punished for being smart, then I don't have to cut to pieces! A: If you change a few, you will be more active. B: Where did it come from? A: Handsome to ugly; Cool has become ... B: Enough! Well, what do you say you have?

As a good student, I study well!

As a bad student, I study hard. ...

A: Huh?

B: Poor thing!

I go to the English corner every morning!

I practice long distance running every morning!

A: Good!

I want to build a strong body.

A: Only when you are in good health can you devote yourself to your work and study.

B: I'll see who dares to mess with me in the future!

A: I go to study at night every night!

I play chess every night!

I always hand in my homework on time!

B: I have to copy every assignment!

I'm never late for class!

B: I just sleep in class!

A: Then you don't study!

B: learn, why not!

A: Oh

B: I studied for five months for a whole semester!

A: Better than me!

Five months, less than five months.

A: Why isn't it enough?

I have been ill for several days.

How many days have you been ill?

B: Three and a half months!

You only studied for a month and a half?

B: I went home to visit my relatives for one month and fourteen days.

A: It's only been one day!

It was Sunday!

Aren't you studying all day?

Who said that? It depends on the probability of coins!

A: Learning depends on probability?

B: if you look up.

A: Just study.

B: Just go to the movies!

A: In vain!

If the tail is up.

I'm going to study.

B: Just play table tennis!

What a waste of time!

B: if it stands up and pulls.

A: Ah.

I'm going to study.

A: Can it stand the test? It!

You're welcome. One day it really stood up.

I'm going to study.

B: I happily went to study with my schoolbag on my back, and finally waited until this day.

A: I started working hard.

I came back as soon as I went out.

Why did you come back again?

B: It's windy outside, and all the coins are blown down!

A: The wind came at a bad time.

B: surf the internet, haha!

A: Come back, come back!

How?

How did you pass the exam like this?

B: It's really stupid to call you stupid!

A: Am I stupid?

B: think about the exam and pay attention to the method!

A: What method?

As the saying goes, money makes the mare go!

A: Bribing classmates! Invite them to dinner!

B: vulgar! Vulgar!

A: Ah!

B: Cash! They can do whatever they want.

That's a despicable move!

B: I'll give it to him, 60 yuan, and I'll copy one yuan in the exam.

A: Not a penny was wasted!

The results have come out. Let me have a look.

A: 60 points, passing.

B: 59 points!

A: 59 points?

B: I just thought, why did he let me copy 59 points?

A: Why?

I see.

A: Why?

B: Last time I passed a pineapple stall with him, and he wanted to eat a pineapple for one yuan. I didn't buy it for him, so he deducted the money!

A: Hi! I think you should!

I hate him to death. I'll get back sixty dollars another day!

A: If you don't work hard at ordinary times, candidates will be sad! Look at me, compulsory courses are good, and elective courses are better!

B: I choose to avoid compulsory courses, but I must avoid elective courses!

I passed CET-6 and CET-4.

B: My legend is level 46, and Adventure Island is level 64.

I get along well with my classmates.

B: My classmates ran when they saw me!

A: I never fight.

B: I'm never afraid of fighting!

I never play cards.

B: I will come in any size!

I actively participate in various activities of school clubs, especially the activities of Quyi Artists Association!

B: Quyi Artists Association?

Yes, you know what?

B: Circus?

A: What circus? It's a performing art troupe!

Oh, I see. You are an artist!

A: No, just a hobby!

B: Actually, I am also an artist!

Do you also like all kinds of performances?

B: Singing is my favorite!

I like singing!

B: Yes! But in this vast world, no one can understand my songs.

Really?

B: One day I was singing "Magic Nine Villages" in the dormitory, and a buddy pushed the door and came in, holding my hand tightly.

A: Praise you for singing well.

What he said.

A: What?

B: Big Brother, others sing for money. You sang so well!

A: It's true that singing is not so good! You can't do this. You have to do something else. I tell you, if you don't work hard today, you will be a junior tomorrow.

B: I was still drinking when I was smoking!

I am frugal.

I go shopping every day.

A: I have money and don't waste it.

B: I borrowed money to send it to an Internet cafe.

A: I have never found a boyfriend.

B: I can't remember how many girls' boyfriends I am.

A: Falling in love is time-consuming and laborious, which greatly increases the burden on our family.

B: It also lightens the burden of other families.

A: I'm a certified public accountant and a senior programmer.

B: I am the moderator of the forum and a senior member of QQ.

I get a scholarship every year.

B: I can't count the renovation expenses every year.

I entered * * * this year.

B: I was blocked by the gate of the League members.

All my courses are excellent.

All my courses are hopeless.

I am happy to help my classmates.

B: Thank you very much.

Why thank me?

Don't you like helping your classmates?

A: Yes.

B: Then let me ask you something.

If you have anything to say, just let me know.

B: I'm embarrassed to say.

Tell me that students should help each other!

B: Then I'll tell you.

A: Go ahead! !

B: You helped me pay for the repairs!

Well, do you want me to pay? No ... B: No problem? I know you're fine. A: No, it's impossible! ! ! (End)