Tell jokes and give points for nothing.

1, spiders and bees are getting married. ...

The spider was very dissatisfied and asked her mother, "Why should I marry a bee?"

Mother spider said, "bees are a little noisy, but at least they are stewardesses."

The spider said, "But I prefer mosquitoes ..."

Mother Spider said, "Don't think about that nurse any more. I can't inject well. The last time I let my mother edema ... "

The bee was not satisfied, so she asked her mother, "Why do you want my house to be eaten by spiders?"

Mother bee said, "Spiders are ugly, but people are at least engaged in the Internet."

Bees are: "But people love ants more ..."

Mother bee said, "don't mention that skinny foreman again." He runs with things all day and doesn't even have a van. "

The bee said, "Brother Fei in the next village is not bad, is he?"

Mother bee said, "He is handsome, but he can't pick a dung worker ..."

2。 A: "What is an optimist?"

B: "It's ... just like a teapot, its ass is burning red and it's whistling!" "

3。 One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand by the valley, shout what you want and then jump into the valley, you will get what you want. So the three of them decided to have a try.

The first one was a goat, so he shouted "Woman! Woman! " The next jump is really full of beautiful women waiting for him.

The second is a bookworm, shouting "Book Book Book Book Book Book!" Then, jump into the valley and get books full of pits and valleys.

The third kind is an indecisive person, who can't decide what he likes after thinking about it. After an hour, he finally made up his mind that money is the most useful thing, so he went to the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and scolded, "Shit!" Unexpectedly, an unstable center of gravity fell into the valley.

4. What about Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

5。 A man climbed over the wall and went out of school, and was caught by the headmaster. The headmaster asked: Why not go to the school gate? Answer: Meters, Bang Wei and Bang Wei don't take the usual road. The headmaster asked again: how did such a high wall cross over? He pointed to his trousers and said, Li Ning, anything is possible.

The headmaster asked again: What's it like to climb over the wall? He pointed to his shoes and said, Xtep, it feels like flying. The next day he entered the school from the main entrance, and the principal asked, why don't you climb over the wall? He said: Anta, I choose, I like it. On the third day, he wore a gangster costume. The headmaster said: You can't wear a gangster costume! He said, you are what you wear, Mason. On the fourth day, he wore a vest to school, and the principal said that he could not wear a vest to school. He said, man, simple is good, love fort clothes. The headmaster said I would give you a bigger score. He said: Why? The headmaster said, M-Zone, my site is my decision.

6. A man saw a store having a big sale and walked in. "What do you want?" "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time and finally had to go home and take the cat to buy cat food. A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole in it and found the salesman. "What can I do for you?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know." The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. " "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

7. Some people like the dish "Spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. A burst of nausea, the man spit all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I am like this ... "

8. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit.

He announced: "children, we can wash the fruit together after picking it, and we can eat it together after washing."

All the children went to pick fruit.

As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them."

Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? "

A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit."

9. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no"

"well. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

10. Mom: "Son, son! Come on! "It's so easy!" What is this? "

Son: "'this is too simple'."

Mom: "Why not make it simple?"

Son: "Oh, it's so easy!" "

Mom: "You didn't think I would hit you, did you?"

After speaking, he taught his son a lesson.

Then, my mother asked again:

"What do you mean by the word' what'?"

Son: "What?"

Mom: "What do I mean by' what'?"

Son: "What!"

Say that finish, the mother taught her son a lesson again. ...

After the punishment, mother asked again:

"Well, I'll ask you again. It's okay to tell mom."

Son: "Um U_U~"

Mom: "What do you often hear' fuck'?"

Son: "(whoops) ..."