A joke about drinking

A joke about drinking. Wine is everything. If you are happy, two drinks will make you happier. If you are unhappy, forget it for a while. Many people will have some behaviors that they don't usually have after drinking, which is ridiculous and has become a joke since it spread. Let's summarize the jokes about drinking.

Drinking joke 1 1 A friend of mine divorced last year and remarried this year because of the children. During this period, women met again. Once several people were drinking and chatting, and my friend lamented that they couldn't let go of that hurdle. My other buddy said, what is this? It's okay. Think of your electric donkey as lost. It's been riding for a while.

2. Edward: "Yesterday Jim and I went to a bar to drink, and a thief came to my house and stole something." Duncan: "Did you lose anything at home?" Edward: "Did you lose it?" . However, my wife thought I was drunk, so she hit the thief indiscriminately. The thief couldn't beat him and shouted for help. Fortunately, the police arrived in time to save him. "

She quarreled with her family that day. She went out drinking and got as drunk as a fiddler. I called anyone, and she said, "Come out. Hi! Ha ha ha! " After a while, she fell asleep until someone patted her. She woke up. "Hey? So, I called you. Have a drink? " "Drink you a ghost! Say what you are stimulated by? " He seems a little impatient. "Don't, so fierce. I am so pitiful. " "Then what did you do?" "They collapsed, and I'm an unwanted child now! Nobody wants me! " "Bullshit! I am still there! " "I knew you were the best, hahaha!" Then she really passed out. He took the bottle in her hand and took a sip. Silently picked her up: "I'll take you in, let's go home."

4. A drunk takes a taxi home. After arriving at the station, the drunk asked, How much is the master? Driver: 15 yuan. Drunk: 15? Don't lie to me when I drink. Driver: Big Brother, this is really the price. Drunk: Isn't it always 20?

The husband came home drunk, and his wife complained that he drank too much. Lady, wine is a good thing. Song Wu is famous for killing a tiger. Song kills tigers and doesn't drink? And Mr. Li Bai, can you become a great poet without drinking? His wife asked him, "What kind of big shot did you become by drinking?" ""I'm Brewmaster, and white wine is hanging in my stomach, gradually dissolving and dissipating. Ah, there is a feeling of flying high. " The wife got angry and slapped her husband. The husband still smiled: "Although there was a thunderbolt, I was still in a fog. "

6. Everyone drinks during the Chinese New Year, and my uncle gets drunk every time. I got drunk again at my friend's house today. I went home alone, and I was peed by a small tree on the way, which was very close. When I finished urinating, I tied my belt to the tree and said while pushing the tree, big brother, I really can't drink, I really can't drink!

7. As soon as I got home, my mother was furious and asked me, "Have you smoked?" "No" "Have you been drinking?" "No" "Is there anyone?" "No." Mom said seriously, "well, you can have it!" " "I said," this ... is really not ... "

8. I am a person who has read history. I died in my sister's happiness in summer and in da ji in business. These historical lessons are engraved in my heart. Therefore, when I was promoted to the position of supervisor, I was always wary of women. Female subordinates invited me to drink and sing, but I didn't go. My boss invited me to travel, but I didn't go. If you want to drag me into this, no way! I played with these foxes all day at work, and I was exhausted when I got home. Still comfortable at home, rest assured. My wife patted my leg: Thank you, Director. I'll give you a little girl to rub and relax. I complained to my wife about my adventure at the station. The wife said: You did the right thing. Those people are all outsiders. None of them are after your strength. You can't be fooled How can one of our own be so sweet! My brother is a driver. Do you want him to drive for you? "Good," I said. "Let him go to work tomorrow and quit driving Wang.

9. The leader is drinking: drinking is like drinking soup, and this person goes to work in industry and commerce; Drinking is like drinking water, and friends must be in the construction Committee; There won't be a bottle left per capita. These brothers are finance. If you don't persuade people to drink, you must work in the court; Toast, this person must be the public security; A person can do two or five things at a time, and this person must be a country; If you don't get drunk after drinking eight or two, this person is definitely a national tax; Don't shout tired for three meals a day. These brothers are local taxes.

10, a male classmate and a female classmate met to drink, and everyone drank a lot in the evening. The woman squatted directly on the table, and the man smiled treacherously and said, I won't succeed this time. The time is ripe, so drunk, you will definitely fail the exam tomorrow! Say, oneself also follow down.

On their third wedding anniversary, the couple celebrated by drinking to their heart's content. After three glasses of wine, my husband said, in fact, our combination is a big misunderstanding. The wife asked in surprise: How do you say this? The husband went on to say: I asked for a taxi in the street that day, and my taxi didn't come. I didn't expect you to come soon!

He Wen and Zhao Jun are good friends. They both like football. When you arrive at a major event, you will meet at a person's house to drink and watch the ball. He Wen likes to be serious, and he lost his finger in the game because he bet with others. But he himself is often proud of it, and feels that he is a real man, and he dares to do it. The four-year European Cup is here, except the World Cup. The fans are most concerned about this game. Tonight is the group match between England and Portugal. Zhao Jun is a fan of the English team, and He Wen likes Portugal. They made an appointment early in the evening, and Zhao Jun went directly to He Wen's house to watch the ball after the night shift. At 2 am, He Wen's door rang. He opened the door and saw that it was Zhao Jun.

3. I graduated from the third year of high school, so it is reasonable to have a drink on the New Year's Eve table ... I played with my little cousin tactfully and naturally received a lot of lucky money.

I bought a friend a drink for a large sum of money. A friend saw him drinking remy martin, so he praised him and said, Is this really Bill from China? Gates. The man leaned close to his friend and whispered, do you know what people called me a year ago? Bill? Beggar!

I went to the private room next door by mistake when I went to the toilet. A room full of people looked at me, and I said, sorry, your food is all here. Then he turned and ran away.

6. Today, I took my wife to play with my friends by car. As a result, I have to drink at night, but I can't drink while driving. Turns out my friend couldn't. I have to drink fruit beer. When I come out at night, I really get drunk and let me off. When I got off the bus, I vomited ... The traffic police were very happy, and I might be fined. It's a pity that I didn't drink. I blew, wiped and exceeded the standard. I explained that I couldn't stop drinking for a long time.

7. When Aunt Zhao came home, she saw her daughter and son-in-law quarreling. Aunt Zhao asked about the cause of the incident. The son-in-law explained, "Mom, I went drinking with an old classmate last night ..." Aunt Zhao generously said, "It's normal to drink with old classmates. They are all human contacts! " Unexpectedly, my daughter cried and said, "Mom, he went drinking with a female classmate last night!" " ""what? " Aunt Zhao is very unhappy. She stared at her son-in-law with big eyes and roared, "What do you drink with your female classmates at night? This is not a relationship between people. This is a lover relationship. "

8. A: You can buy a Porsche key from the Internet, then go out to pick up girls and put it on the table. I don't know how awesome it is ... B: What if a girl wants to take the bus after she gets it? A: Just say you can't drive while drinking. Take a taxi back.

9. A colleague was chatting with me just now. He asked me: You don't smoke, drink or gamble now. What do you want as a man? What's the fun? I said weakly, after you died, were there many people watching your funeral? I'm too witty. ...

10, ask my buddies out for a drink at night. My buddy told me: no, I have an appointment with a net friend tonight. I met him the next day and asked him: How was the war? He said, don't mention it. I thought it was playing with two women, but it turned out to be a woman and her boyfriend. Stop it, it's all tears, and my ass still hurts …