A funny classic paragraph in WeChat circle of friends

There will be many funny friends around us, and life will be colorful many times. At the same time, the WeChat circle of friends has also become their funny base. The following is a funny classic paragraph of WeChat friends circle that I carefully arranged for you. I hope it helps you!

Humorous wechat classic paragraph

1. As soon as I got a zero in math, I cried and begged God to give me a chance to start again. Sure enough, I got a zero in chemistry the next day.

My parents quarreled fiercely. My mother suddenly picked up a bottle of dichlorvos and said to my father, if you do this to me again, I will let you taste the loss of your loved ones! Then he opened my mouth.

3. Just now, someone said that they liked me, so I just deleted it. In September, when he said he liked me, he definitely wanted to trick me into going to his hometown to break corn and cut beans.

4. I remember learning a text in the second grade of primary school, which probably means that the teacher is ill and the students send eggs. After teaching this text, the teacher fell ill the next day. We 43 students scraped together more than 70 eggs to see the teacher. After a year, my brother learned this text, and the teacher became ill the next day. What a deep routine?

5.

6. My roommate keeps a cactus. I accidentally knocked it over today. I quickly reached out and grabbed it back. I didn't say anything. It's so brave. . .

7. A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird.

8. My girlfriend is in a bad mood these days, and I am careful for fear of annoying her. I was washing dishes after dinner, and she suddenly said, I wash dishes clockwise and you wash dishes counterclockwise. I can't live this life!

9. With the continuous updating of Meitu Xiu Xiu, I am becoming more and more beautiful!

10. I wanted to have a salted fish turn over during this period, and finally it was completely stuck.

1 1. I must work hard, otherwise people will say, look, that man is nothing but good-looking.

12. My son wants to use my toothpaste when he brushes his teeth in the morning. I said, you can't use it You are young, you can use baby toothpaste. He gave me a cold look and said, Mom, you are so stingy. Did I tell you that you use my baby cream every day?

13. I am scum. Every time the teacher passes me in the exam, I will cover up the answer, mainly for fear that the teacher will see my stupid answer.

14. A friend gave birth to a baby. After seven months, she only showed it to us once, and never saw her basking in a circle of friends. Why don't you bask in it? Answered coldly: "It's so ugly. I originally wanted to wait for a good look before drying, and the result was always so ugly. "

15. Not long ago, I stayed in a hotel with my daughter-in-law and got a membership card, and then I left it with my daughter-in-law. Yesterday, I went to live with my daughter-in-law. When I checked out today, I sent a message saying that my card was upgraded to a gold card. . . I am so excited!

16. Being with a man, never fighting. I let out a cruel word: call your son a snack. He paused: but I just called him sweetheart.

17. A sister who has been single for a long time told me that she recently found the feeling of falling in love. It turns out that every time she goes downstairs to pick up the courier, the courier brother will ask her plaintively. Do you know how long I have been waiting for you?

18. When cooking in the canteen, a sister paper was rudely inserted in front of me. I leaned over and said, beauty, do you have a boyfriend? Sister paper said: No, why? Go up and say with a big mouth: little bitch, how dare you come to my place to jump the queue without a boyfriend?

19. Landlord: What do boys say that will make girls feel particularly angry? Reply: buy!

20. The math teacher at noon is Yu Wentian. One day, a classmate called him Teacher Yu. I guess this guy doesn't know there's another thing called compound surname. Embarrassed, the teacher said, my last name is Yuwen. Just call me Mr. Yuwen. The classmate paused for a second and said, but you are a math teacher!

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