Children can't hurt their parents, so they punish their parents' masochistic personality with self-mutilation.

Family of origin's injury is well known to the public. Almost all people suffered from mental illness to varying degrees during their injuries in family of origin. Although some diseases do not completely affect daily life, they are deeply hidden in the heart and even enter the subconscious, becoming the main way to hint at fate and life.

The harm caused by family background is nothing more than several kinds:

In the whole family structure, children are the weakest one. As absolute authority and powerful people, parents completely control children's words and deeds, daily life, study and even spiritual consciousness.

Therefore, as parents, we really need professional parenting methods, because if we are not careful, power and majesty will become daily means of discipline, and parents have no idea that this is very correct and there is no problem at all.

As we all know, the stronger the parents, the weaker the children, and the more they will become cowards of survival. The individual's personality and dignity are trampled to the climax in the family, and will be revealed at any time when entering and leaving the society in the future.

For children, childhood experiences may not be noticed, and when they grow up to a certain stage, they will find the source of some of their own behaviors. At this time, the damage has long been ingrained, such as getting used to self-abuse, and suffering from self-abuse is one of the manifestations.

Self-abuse refers to self-satisfaction by hurting yourself. Theoretically, this is actually a manifestation of schizophrenia.

Usually we only complain about what others have done and how badly they have done, and seldom reflect on our own problems, while masochism is just the opposite.

In China, there is a way of education that lasts forever and never stops. Its name is "guilt education". Guilt education is a common problem in current social education.

The characteristic of this kind of education is that parents always make their children feel ashamed and guilty in the name of love, thus forcing them to study hard or do something their parents want them to do.

If you do this for a long time, it is often easy for children to form a strong tendency of self-blame and self-abuse.

Children who abuse themselves usually have three manifestations:

1. I always think that I am not good enough, and I keep hurting myself for psychological peace;

2. I think I am always not good enough and always provoke others to hurt myself;

3. Habit and being good at making others uncomfortable also make themselves uncomfortable. They tend to think that they have absolutely no possibility of happiness, mainly because they don't deserve any happiness in the world.

Psychologically, masochism tends to be compulsive and repetitive. Under the guidance of this tendency, they always carry a certain fatalistic flavor and pattern, and repeat some behavior patterns and psychological States that make them very painful in their lives.

What is even more frightening is that they always unconsciously repeat the sad experiences of the past. It seems that they want to try to repair the past pain through repetition, but the result is often repeated, so that they can't return to heaven.

There is a saying, "I can't hurt my parents, so I hurt myself to punish them." People who can say this sentence obviously have some self-awareness and scrutiny.

At the same time, it also shows that there is such oppression in his family, which leads to his tendency to retaliate against his parents by hurting himself. Therefore, we can judge that the personality formation of people who are prone to self-abuse in life is mostly due to the unfortunate experience of childhood.

In the absence of respect, affirmation, warmth and love in childhood, children will feel insecure inside.

When this humanized demand is not met, children are prone to negative psychological feedback such as depression, disappointment and anger.

It is precisely because I am afraid of being punished, but at the same time I am afraid of losing my parents' care and love, so I dare not express my dissatisfaction with my parents, and I never dare to criticize and blame my parents.

Under such internal and external double torture, children's hearts are often unbearable, so they will choose to hurt themselves in exchange for inner peace and seek relief.

Our social culture has always advocated that parents respect the authority of their parents, not only requiring their children to be morally filial, but also creating an atmosphere in which women criticize their parents for being immoral.

In this atmosphere, a child who is a little bolder and wilder may rise up and resist, but he is a child after all. He will be sad and feel guilty after resisting. And timid children dare not express dissent or dissatisfaction at all, and even dare not imagine and think that their parents will make mistakes.

But the child's sensitive heart made him feel that someone must be wrong in this process. Since he can't imagine that his parents are at fault, he must be the only one who is at fault.

Under such an irrational inference, the child has no choice but to carry the pot on himself. In fact, this is not reasoning and judgment at all, but an emotional effect from the fear of young hearts.

As a result, children generally feel that everything around them is frustrating and can only helplessly meet their parents' expectations.

His natural autonomy gradually lost in his life, and his judgment criteria for things became more and more vague. He always takes his parents' standards as his own judgment, but stubbornly hints at himself subconsciously:

So many times, children deliberately do simple things wrong, just to get rid of the shackles of their parents in this simple way, which is a struggle and liberation of their subconscious.

At the same time, adhering to the principles of parents at that time will give children a deformed sense of superiority. He will think that his guilt is actually a virtue, and take "I have this virtue, and I am more virtuous than others" as the capital to despise others, and at the same time, he will completely pass on the trauma brought to him by his parents to others.

This man, not surprisingly, is his next generation.