A friend borrowed 20 thousand yuan and didn't pay it back. How can he get his money back without hurting his feelings

A year ago, Xiao Wei's friend wanted to pay a down payment for his son's house and borrowed 20,000 yuan from Xiao Wei. At that time, it was agreed that it was just an emergency. Six months later, when my son gives out the year-end bonus, he must first return Xiao Wei's 20,000 yuan.

As a result, Xiao Wei waited for a year, but his friend never mentioned paying back the money. Don't say it's 20 thousand yuan. I didn't even mean to pay a part in advance, like 5 thousand yuan.

Xiao Wei is very tangled. I don't know if I should directly ask my friends to pay back the money. Although $20,000 is not a large sum, it is not a small sum. Xiao Wei really wants the money back, but he is afraid of ruining his feelings with his friends for many years. If a friend has a last resort, he will bring it up rashly, embarrassing and embarrassing his friend.

In the case of Xiao Wei, if relatives and friends borrow money but don't take the initiative to pay it back, how can they get the money back without hurting their feelings?

Gently remind

Sometimes it really happens that relatives and friends really have too many chores and forget to pay back the money. Therefore, the first step, through a casual joke or a casual mention, euphemistically implies the other party's "you forgot to pay back the money" information, so that relatives and friends suddenly remember that they still owe you a sum of money, as well as the scene when borrowing money and the agreed date of paying back the money.

Gentle reminder, on the one hand, will not embarrass both parties, on the other hand, it will also make friends and relatives who really forget to pay back the money clear and respond immediately. For example, they will immediately apologize "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was too busy to remember" and promise to pay back the money tomorrow or someday.

Usually in this case, the other party will pay back the money on time as promised.

Negotiate a new repayment plan

The so-called "things are impermanent" and "plans can't keep up with changes". When I wake up gently, I am too busy to remember except that my relatives and friends have the ability to pay back the money. Another situation is that they can't pay back the money, or they can't keep their promises when they borrow money, and they can't pay back all the money at once.

Relatives and friends are reluctant to take the initiative because they know they can't keep their promises. Their occupation in mind is: as long as you, the creditor, don't take the initiative to mention it, you can pay it back day by day, or you can mention it, and then discuss what to do together.

This is not to say that such relatives and friends are hooligans, but they are passive and inferior, and they are used to escaping when they encounter problems.

In this case, you might as well sit down and make a repayment plan again. If you can't pay it back in one lump sum, you can pay it back in installments, including how often and how much it costs each time. Note that this repayment plan needs to be in black and white in duplicate, and the repayment date and the repayment amount of each installment should be specified.

The reason for making such a repayment plan is for the sake of the personality of such relatives and friends. Because they are very passive and feel inferior, they will choose to escape when they encounter unbearable pressure. Therefore, setting a small amount at a time can share and relieve their pressure. Specifying the date and amount is to urge them not to delay.

Replace or mortgage with something other than money.

If a new repayment plan is made through gentle reminder, the other party still cannot implement it. Then there is basically no hope of paying back the money.

If you can afford the loan amount, you can consider doing charity and helping relatives and friends tide over the difficulties for free. If the loan amount is too large, you can ask the other party to provide something other than money as collateral, such as gold and silver jewelry, labor remuneration (such as cleaning, cooking, helping to look after children, helping children with their homework), and even discount them with mortgages such as household appliances, electronic products, cars and houses.

If the other party borrows money from you again, don't borrow it again. If you are afraid of losing contact with each other, you can provide some material help for free, such as supermarket cards, food, electronic products and so on. After all, if you are short of hands and don't reach out and smile, the other party will be embarrassed to blame you and borrow money from others.

There is an old saying that the money lent is someone else's. Lending money to relatives and friends is very risky, so you must think carefully before borrowing money, considering the other party's economic strength, integrity and earning ability, and what harm and loss will be caused if he doesn't pay back the money.

If all the above elements imply that you should not borrow, but only borrow, then you can only help each other and do charity without coming back. After all, the other person has a certain blood relationship or years of friendship with you. When the other person is in trouble and you happen to have the ability, lend a helping hand.