Four classic and interesting English jokes

Here are four classic funny English jokes I compiled. I hope you like it!

Classic English joke: children are really amazing.

Mother took little Johnny and little Ronnie on the train.

Mother took little Johnny and little Ronnie by train.

As usual, little Johnny is full of questions: "What is an emergency brake, Mom?"

Little Johnny asked questions as usual. Mom, what is an emergency brake? "

? Why did the policeman ask to see our tickets? "

? Why does the police uncle want to see our tickets? "

"Why can't I lean out of the window?" Wait a minute.

? Why can't the body stick out of the window? "And so on.

His mother became more and more angry.

Mother couldn't help losing her temper.

Finally, little Johnny asked, "Mom, what was the last stop we stopped at?"

Finally, little Johnny asked again, Mom, at which station did the train stop just now?

"I don't know, Johnny, would you please stop pestering me? I am studying hard. "

? I don't know, Johnny. Can you leave me alone? I am reading a book! ?

A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "that's too bad, you don't know which stop it is, because that's where little Ronnie got off." "

After a silence, Johnny said, it's too bad you don't know where Ronnie got off. "

Classic English joke: philosophy class

Really, you have only two things to worry about-either getting sick or being healthy.

Really, there are only two things you need to worry about. You are either sick or healthy.

If you are fine, you have nothing to worry about.

If you are healthy, there is nothing to worry about.

If you are ill, you have only two things to worry about-either you get better or you die.

If you are sick, just worry about two things, and you will either get well or die.

If you recover, you have nothing to worry about.

If you recover, don't worry about anything.

If you die, you only need to worry about two things-either going to heaven or going to hell.

If you die unfortunately, you only need to worry about two things. You can either go to heaven or go to hell.

If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about.

If you go to heaven, you need not worry about anything.

If you go to hell, you will be too busy shaking hands with old friends to worry!

If you go to hell, you will be too busy shaking hands with old friends to worry about things!

Classic English joke: That's really scary.

One day, a tourist walked into a pub in Texas and ordered a whisky. The bartender put a large glass full of whisky in front of him.

One day, a tourist walked into a hotel in Texas and ordered a whisky. The bartender gave him a large glass of wine.

"What is this?" The tourist asked.

? What is this? ,? The tourist asked.

"Oh, this is a glass of whisky! Don't you know that everything in Texas is big? "

? What happened? That's your wine. Don't you know that everything in Texas is horrible? ?

Then, an armadillo ran through the door.

At that time, a pangolin just ran past the hotel door.

? What is that? The tourist asked.

? What is that thing? The tourist asked again.

"Why, that's a Texas cockroach."

? Oh, that's a Texas cockroach! ?

At this time, the whisky has reached the bladder and head of the tourists.

Tourists will feel bloated and dizzy after drinking wine.

He asked the location of the bathroom

He asked where there was a bathroom,

The bartender directed him to walk down the hall to the right.

The bartender told him to turn right after going downstairs.

But the tourist turned left and fell into the swimming pool.

But the tourists turned left and fell into the hotel swimming pool.

The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.

The bartender heard the sound of water and ran out to find out.

When he put his head into the door, he heard the cries of tourists. "Don't flush the toilet!"

Hardly had I put my head into the door when I heard the tourists shouting. Don't flush the toilet!

Classic English joke: as easy as blowing off dust

When the small plane crackled over the Andes, there were four passengers on board; A businessman, an inventor, a priest and a leisurely budget traveler.

There are four passengers on a small plane flying over the Andes: a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a lazy traveler living on a budget.

Suddenly, the pilot entered the cabin and told them the terrible news: "gentlemen, the plane is descending." I'm going to try to make it land, but you must all jump. "

Suddenly, the pilot walked into the cabin and told them the terrible news: gentlemen, this plane is losing control. I'll try to land, but you have to jump off the plane first. ?

Naturally, these people were frightened. This is especially true when they find that there are only three parachutes.

Of course those people were dumbfounded, especially when they found that only three parachutes could be used.

The businessman said, "Gentlemen, I have hired thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you will agree that I must survive. " He immediately put on his parachute and jumped.

The businessman said:? Gentlemen, I employ thousands of employees, and they all depend on me to support their families. I think you all agree that I must go back alive. ? Then he put on his parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The inventor stood up and adjusted the tape. "I am the smartest person in the world. My invention has changed the lives of millions of people. There? It's hard to say how much good I can do. Goodbye. " He also jumped off the plane.

Then the inventor stood up, adjusted his shoulder strap and said, I am the smartest person in the world, and my invention has changed the lives of thousands of people. It's hard to estimate how much more I can do for the public. Bye, everyone! ? He also jumped out of the cabin.

The priest was Mr Rene, who interrupted his prayers and spoke to the passengers. "I am the son of God; I'm not afraid of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "

The priest calmly stopped praying and said to the traveler, Young man, I believe in God and I am not afraid of death. Take the rest of the parachute and run for your life! ?

"Hey, that's cool, dad. There? We have two parachutes left. The smartest person in the world jumped off the plane with my backpack on his back. "

? Hey, father, that's great! We still have two parachutes. The man who claimed to be the smartest in the world jumped out with my backpack on his back. ?