Humorous sentences in restaurants

While eating in a noodle restaurant, a man dressed in untidy clothes came in and asked the boss if he could give noodles to eat. I lost my wallet and couldn't go home. Now I'm hungry. Without saying anything, the boss turned and walked into the kitchen. Soon he brought a bowl of noodles and he wolfed it down. After eating, the boss gave him 300 yuan. At that time, everyone in the shop said that the boss had been cheated. These people are all liars. The boss only said one sentence. I didn't put salt in that bowl of noodles just now.

2、

There was nothing when I first met my wife, because the family conditions were not good. The family was crowded into a room of 30 square meters. . . After hard work, I am married now, and I have a house of 130 square meters. Open Q5! Thank you, my wife, for fighting with me. I just want you to know that it's good to have a rich father-in-law! !

3、

My wife asked me to peel the fruit for her. I picked a big pear and thought she couldn't finish it, so I cut half of it for her.

She roared: We have been together for five years, and you still want to share pears with me! All right, just leave. Go to the Civil Affairs Bureau tomorrow!

Me: Wife, I didn't mean to. Just forgive me this once.

Wife: I can forgive you, too. Bring the other half!

4、

A: "Marriage based on money is the strongest."

B: "Why do you say that?"

A: "There are no bronze weddings, silver weddings and gold weddings now. . . Diamond wedding! "

5、

A colleague said sadly, I suddenly found that no one can talk to me, and my friends have not been in touch for too long … it seems that I have no friends … Oh, my God! Suddenly found that I seem to be miserable!

I said: think about it from another angle, maybe you will be relieved, for example, you have saved a lot of money.

1, Zhang San and Li Er are chatting.

Zhang San: "I used to gloat when others bought stocks and plummeted!" " "

Li Er: "Don't feel bad when others fall (Dad)!"

Zhang San: "I said that I bought a plunge now. It hurts! " "

Li Er: "I fell (Dad), I am a relative, of course it hurts!"

Zhang San: "I am a grandfather now."

Li Er: "Grandpa?"

Zhang San: "Down (Dad) Down (Dad)"!

The old man keeps a monkey, and the monkey is stubborn. The old man thought: How can we make this monkey honest? By the way, the ancients set an example!

So the old man caught a chicken raised at home and fell in front of the monkey. The chicken's head fell off, and the monkey was too scared to blink!

The old man thought, Are you afraid? Hey hey. .....

The old man came back from the door and was dumbfounded when he pushed the door. Monkeys are playing with a kitchen knife and chopping the heads of chickens one by one. .....

When I was a child, every time I was punished by my teacher, I secretly swore that one day I would let you fall into the hands of both employers and employees, and both employers and employees would have to call you off!

Now, I finally got what I wanted. I looked at the head teacher who came to the bathhouse naked and picked up the towel. ...

4. The family was eating. My brother picked up a bone and accidentally fell to the ground. My mother stared. Brother immediately picked it up and prepared to chew.

Mom: Is the dropped thing dirty?

My brother was ready to throw away the bone as soon as he heard it, and my mother grabbed it and put it in my bowl.

I look unhappy: Mom, what do you mean? Is eccentricity too obvious? Brother falls to the ground, it will get dirty if I eat it, and I will be fine if I eat it? We're all yours, right?

Mom: What's dirty? What do you want to eat?

Me: What does it matter if he eats it? Can I eat?

Mom: He has a girlfriend. You're single dog ... Dog!

5. The wife wants to drive her husband out of the house and go to the kitchen to get her husband a bowl.

Husband is puzzled: "Why do you want to bring me a bowl?"

The wife sneered: "Because the bowl is very important, it can hold money or rice ..."