What are some funny jokes about children's childish words?

Having children makes life very inconvenient for couples.

Once, I turned off the lights at 9 o'clock and waited for more than an hour. I felt that the child should have fallen asleep, so I whispered my wife's name.

As a result, my wife really fell asleep, and the child suddenly woke up and said, why do you call me mom _

Also give three examples to help:

First, a little boy spent a long time in the bathroom. His mother was very concerned and told him that the air in the bathroom was not good. The little boy told his mother: I am not afraid of heavy taste.

Second, a little girl likes to eat snacks. She told her mother that my mouth stinks. Give me a chocolate.

Three: A child was beaten for disobedience. He said to his children that being a mother is really happy. You can beat anyone you like.

One day, a family of three were chatting at home. Dad asked his son, "Son, what will you do to me when you grow up?" The son thought for a moment and said, "You call my mother beauty, and my mother calls you husband. When I grow up and you are old, I will marry my mother, a beautiful woman, to support you, an old man! " .

I saw the young couple laughing their heads off, thinking that the child's idea was really strange.

1, the mother taught the baby to write the word "7". Mom said, "'7' is like a small hoe, remember?"

The baby nodded and quickly wrote a few lines for his mother to read. When mom saw it, it was all "L".

Mom said, "No."

The baby confidently replied: "The small hoe can be put like this!"

One day, an old woman saw a little girl crying, and coaxed her to say, "Don't cry, if you cry too much, your beautiful face will become ugly." Hearing this, the girl quickly stopped crying, looked at the old woman stupefied, and then said, "Did you cry when you were a child?"

3. When I was in the first grade, Mingming met with difficulties in doing math problems with her classmates. The classmate said, "Ask Teacher Zhao upstairs." Obviously, he said, "No, Miss Zhao teaches the fifth grade, not the first grade."

My daughter is two and a half years old, and my mother wants to train her to sleep in a room alone. Let her father put her to sleep at night. After a while, she crept into her mother's room and said, "Shh! I put my father to sleep. "

Mom found a mouse in the room and shouted that her husband would come quickly. The daughter taught her mother, "why do you call me dad?" Why not meow like a cat? "

My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter often says some ridiculous things.

One day watching Africans dance on TV, she suddenly asked, "Mom, why doesn't this uncle wash his face?"

6. When my son came back from school, his wife asked him: Dear son, is your school teacher beautiful or is your mother beautiful?

The son thought about it and said, Mom is so beautiful!

The wife was very happy and said, Why?

The son blushed and said, the teacher said, today is Mother's Day, you must make your mother happy, even if it is a white lie!

My wife is depressed. . . .

7. The section chief invited the new director to have dinner at home. At the dinner table, the section chief proposed that his 5-year-old son recognize michel platini as the director.

The director agreed happily, and at the same time smiled and asked the son of the section chief sitting on the side: "Little guy, would you like it?" "I don't want to and I can't help it," the little guy pursed his lips. "Last night, I heard my father say to my mother,' I can't bear to let my son run away with the wolf!

8. Doudou is a child who listens to the teacher very much. One day in composition class, he wrote: Mom is a 45-year-old middle-aged woman! After handing it in, the teacher drew a circle next to "45 years old", indicating: redundant! The next day, Doudou handed in the revised composition, and the teacher found that the composition was changed to: My mother is a redundant middle-aged woman. ...

9. A pupil learns the violin.

Come to class this day, open the piano box and find a submachine gun inside!

So frightened to disgrace of say:

No, my father took my violin to the bank! ! !

10, a child stood in front of the iron shop, watching the blacksmith strike the iron, but couldn't stand for a long time. The blacksmith hated him so much that he picked up a red-hot soldering iron and put it under his nose, trying to force him to go away.

The child said, "If you give me a dollar, I will lick it."

The blacksmith took out a dollar and gave it to the child. The child took the money, licked the paper money, put it in the bag and left.

1 1. One day, his wife was not eating at home, and his 7-year-old daughter was sitting in his wife's position, pretending to be her mother. I couldn't help laughing when I looked at her behavior. My son doesn't believe that she impersonates her mother.

He said rudely, "Do you think you are a mother today? Do you know what 99 times 5 is? "

The daughter took her time and answered without hesitation, "Son, I don't have time. Ask your father. "

12, Xiao Lei's mother watched Xiao Lei play for a long time, then coaxed him to practice, and said to him, "Dear, go to the piano room to practice! I'll give you 1 pound to buy chocolate after practice. " Little Les pursed her lips and said, "But the neighbors next door said they would give me 2 pounds if I didn't practice the piano."

13. The child next door took a steamed stuffed bun to eat in the morning. I joked, Mao Mao, why don't you look after your home? The dog ate all the steamed buns.

Mao Mao handed me the steamed stuffed bun. Uncle, do you eat steamed buns? I thought, the child is quite sensible, you eat. Uncle has eaten. Mao Mao said with a bad smile, how can a dog take my steamed stuffed bun? He ate it all. ...

14, holding my little nephew to the street, I pointed to the luxury car that drove past and showed it to my little nephew. The little guy suddenly said, "Uncle, I'll buy you a car when I grow up." I asked him excitedly, "How much did you buy for my uncle?" The little guy said firmly, "50 points!" "

15, coming home from school, a pair of twin brothers excitedly said to their mother, "Mom, today our class is going to choose the most beautiful mother, and you are elected." Mother was very happy and asked her how she was elected. The twin brother said, "The students all voted for mom, and we have two votes, so you are elected." ...

One night, a man wanted to make out with his wife. The wife pointed to the child next to her and said; The child is still awake. The husband said, impossible. It's been so long. Let me try to see if he is asleep. After that, the husband stuffed a dime into the child's slightly open hand. At this time, he heard the unhappy voice of the child say; It's a bit arrogant to want to solve such a big event with 50 cents.