Funny classic funny jokes

Do you know that humor has the function of getting out of trouble and eliminating troubles? Let me sort out the collected jokes for you. I hope you are happy.

You traitor

Boasting can enhance self-confidence. Every morning, you smile in the mirror, say to your eyes: You are so beautiful, say to your nose: You are so handsome, say to your mouth: You are so eloquent, and say to your bald hair: You traitor.

Dude in there, can you hurry up?

A buddy went to an Internet cafe to surf the Internet, and suddenly he was in a hurry to go to the toilet.

There is someone in the toilet. The man is waiting outside the door. Five minutes have passed, 10 minutes have passed, 15 minutes have passed?

I can't help it, knocking at the door: my buddy is inside, can you hurry up!

There was a word from inside: damn it, someone finally came. Does this friend have any paper?

The difference between leftover women and goddesses

The sorrow of leftover women: death without Korea! Goddess' Happiness: Hold Han Yisheng tight.

Damn it, you've been cheated

My money just disappeared and I rummaged through it in the dormitory? Still can't find it!

My classmate said leisurely in bed: Maybe it fell to the ground. If you sweep the floor, maybe you can sweep it out? As a result, I scanned it and still couldn't find it. Looking at the clean dormitory, I found something was wrong.

it's your turn ...

Two people are chatting. A woman said, if you broke up with your boyfriend and found yourself pregnant, what would you do?

Another woman said that I would secretly give birth to the baby and bring it to him when he got married, and then told him that it was your turn after I had raised it for so long.

Xiong Haizi, you are Uncle Keng.

Last night, I was idle and took my 5-year-old nephew to the streets. I met a MM in a short skirt in the street.

We bent down to buy milk tea by the roadside, and we just walked beside her and saw her pouting.

The nephew said:? Uncle, this sister has a big ass! ?

MM heard it and turned to look at my nephew. My nephew said:? My uncle told me to say so! ?

Teacher, you have worked too hard.

On the physical education class, boys and girls are divided into two rows, and they practice standing in turn.

It's the girl's turn to stand, and the boy's turn to judge the inch. The PE teacher shouted the password: stand at attention and hold your chest out.

Some girls are too shy to stand up. The teacher said, Oh, no breasts? You can't stand it.

The class laughed?

The difference between sterility and cleanliness

The surgical teacher of the medical college said: The so-called sterile and clean. The difference is that if you put a pile of excrement in the pressure cooker for an hour, it will be sterile, but do you think it is unclean?

If you feel good, you will never stop.

I am bald. I go to the barber shop to shave once a week. Today, I shaved and washed my hair. My brother who washed my hair washed it for me four times and had to put shampoo on my head. I said, brother, I'd better wash it. Is it that dirty?

He answered me, your head feels so good that I forgot. It feels so good, damn it.

Wish has come true.

An old couple born on the same day of the same year celebrated their 60th birthday. During the dinner, God came and said that he could satisfy their two wishes.

My dream is to travel around the world, said the old woman. God waved his wand, wow! Dig out a pile of plane tickets.

The old man said: I want to live with a woman 30 years younger than me. God waved his wand, wow! Turn the old man into 90?

One person eats so much.

Today, I witnessed the whole process of girls being accosted at the next table in the hotel.

A handsome boy said two words to her. The first sentence is: Are you alone?

The girl nodded prudently, and the boy went on to say, do you eat so much by yourself?

You must have never been with a man, so you don't know what a man is for.

Recently, a female friend finally confessed to her mother that she likes girls.

After hearing this, her mother wailed, beat her chest and cried. You must have never been with a man, so you don't know what a man is for! ?

Her brother nodded silently beside her?

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