Flirting jokes between men and women

Men and women flirt jokes, rainy weather is a good opportunity to learn, and life is always ups and downs. Publishing inspirational quotations can convey some positive energy to friends, and quotations can deepen their thinking about life. After reading the flirting jokes, choose a circle of friends! I hope it works for you!

The flirting joke between men and women 1 1, the current mm pinched my little JJ and tortured me: How many girlfriends did you have before?

Even number: two … two …

Her little hand tightened: Really?

I was sweating with pain and begged for mercy: really, really-from 2009 to now, there are really only two ~ ~ excluding you.

2. The 2.mm camera is behind the seat, and the kind driver quickly shouted at her: "Sister, your camera!" Mm blushed and turned to scold: "You are like a duck!"

3. The construction team was too irresponsible to decorate the house. My boyfriend quarreled with them, so I hurried to stop the fight.

Boyfriend: It's just that you're here. Stand up straight against the wall-look, this is flat! How dare the bricks on your wall be flat? ! !

Construction team: ...

4, QQ chat, MM: Give some examples of late bloomers, I want to use them in the paper!

Even: Huang Zhong fought with Liu Bei and Tokugawa Ieyasu at the age of 70, Jiang Ziya became prime minister at the age of 80, She Taijun 100, the Monkey King 500, and White Snake 1000.

5, enchanting woman: will you give up your seat? I'm pregnant ~

Tsinghua male: Oh, ok, have a seat.

Enchanting woman: Thank you!

Tsinghua male: How many months are you pregnant? You don't look like it. ...

Enchanting girl: Oh, about ... about 50 minutes!

6. A girl lost her bra and got angry! So he defiantly said on the small blackboard downstairs: I don't believe that my E-cup bra can still be worn by girls in our building? ! ! !

As a result, the bra was hung on the doorknob of the dormitory that night ...

7. The trains in Spring Festival travel rush are too crowded! I couldn't stand a millimeter beside me, so I asked if I could sit for a while. But there are four people sitting on the seat of three people, and the space between the seats is full of people. If I stand in such a crowded place, I can't stand it ... I'm hesitating. MM is really tired and doesn't care about anything. "I'm so tired, sit on your lap!" Then she sat down. In order to avoid embarrassment, while chatting with me, she joked, "Actually, it's not bad, and I can mix a soft seat ..." After saying his word, MM got up and exclaimed, "Ah, it seems that she is too proud-the' soft seat' has become a' hard seat'! ~~~"

8. A female classmate twisted her shoulder, so she dragged two roommates to find a professional massage place to take care of them. Never been to such a place, the three sisters bumped into a small red room in the street. Unexpectedly, a sexy bedroom sister is sitting in the room. What a good post! Watching TV online, she looked at her sisters in surprise for three and a half days. Nuo Nuo said, "Are you ... are you here to apply?"

9. Junior Brother: Brother, hurry up. There are many mm's taking an art test outside. Let's go out and feast our eyes!

Brother doesn't look up: don't go, can't you see I'm trying? When I find a good job after graduation, I will go clubbing every day!

10, Tencent Campus Recruitment, HR: Do you often use our products?

Yes

HR: Can I open your QQ?

Yes

HR: I'll take the exam! How can you say that you often use our company's products, even without a sun? ! !

MM:% @@ # @ * *……# @ #￥%……& amp； ——+

1 1, MM: I was angry with you the other day!

Me: Why? It seems that I have not offended you. ...

MM: I asked you the other day that you can only choose between 5 million and your lover. Which one did you choose? As a result, you chose 5 million, and I was angry!

Me (embarrassed): Then what? In my opinion, I haven't apologized to you yet, have I?

Hmm! But then I thought about it, I would choose 5 million, so I forgive you ~

Me: ...

12, I wanted to be circumcised, so I went to the hospital for an operation. When I got there, I found that nurse MM turned out to be my high school classmate! ! After an awkward greeting, she asked me to take off my pants and hesitated for a long time. MM said impatiently, "Hurry up, hurry up, what do you mean by being so shy?"? You know that I have touched this thing more than the convenient chopsticks you have taken! "

13, lying lazily in bed with mm, the voice in Yi Xue's advertisement said coquetry, "I am your Youlemei ~"

My eyes lit up when I heard this: "Oh, great, let me put the tube in!" " "

Man: I hope my son will be called your mother ... Woman: OK ... where is my son? Man: I mean, I think that son was born to you ... Woman: Then why is it your son? Man: ...

One,

W: I ... um ... I think ... (shy)

Man: You don't like me.

Woman: No.

Then you are rejecting me ... (sad)

Woman: Er (surprised) ~ You like me ...?

Man: You refused. ...

Woman: I didn't ... I just came to confess. ...

M: I didn't say that before. ...

Second,

I need a boyfriend.

Man: You can't do that. This is too casual.

Woman: I don't want to be alone anymore. ...

M: I'm afraid you will be cheated, so your boyfriend will be with me. It's good to have a brother in my dormitory.

Woman: won't you feel bad when I'm with him?

M: I have nothing to do with him. don't worry ...

Female: ...

Third,

Woman: I like you.

M: I am in a bad mood.

W: I didn't mean to put pressure on you.

Man: I didn't sleep well last night

Woman: Then can you accept me?

M: I failed in the exam yesterday.

W: Don't judge him.

M: We are not suitable. I know you did well in the exam yesterday.

W: That's not the point.

Man: Boo-hoo (starts to cry)

Female: ...

Fourth,

Woman: Don't play dumb. Do you know that I like you?

M: I don't know.

Woman: Oh ~ What do you think now?

M: I wonder why I don't know.

Female: ...

Five,

Man: I hope my son will call you mom. ...

Woman: ok ... pick up a son for nothing ... where is it?

Man: I mean, I think that son was born to you. ...

W: Then why your son?

Man: ...

Six,

Man: I like you so much.

W: I like me too.

Man: ...