Wife: "Husband, do you think I am gentle and beautiful?"

1, the wife asked her husband, "Do you think I am gentle and beautiful?" Husband: "gentle and beautiful." Wife: "Really? Are you afraid of hurting me? " Husband: "No, I'm afraid you'll hurt me."

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2, the wife is a melon, the lover is a flower, tired to eat melons, idle flowers, wages to raise melons, bonuses to raise flowers, eating melons do not want to spend, accompanying flowers, no flowers are melons, melons used to be flowers, since there are melons, why make flowers, carve melons with your heart, melons can also be carved into flowers! !

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I just cut my hair short recently, but it used to be long. I quarreled with my boyfriend last night and cried unwillingly. Then my boyfriend said, you know, when you have long hair, every time you cry, I feel particularly distressed, because it's like crying … Now that your hair is cut so short, it looks like a big steamed stuffed bun squeezing its soup outside … * * *

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4.w: do you have a room?

M: Overseas villas.

Woman: Do you have a car?

A BMW and a Mercedes.

W: What's the annual salary?

M: 2 million.

Woman: Mom, please give him to me. . .

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5. Two sons of an uncle went to his house for dinner one day and talked about their childhood. The boss said that his father always fights, never his younger brother. The younger brother smiled and said contemptuously: Every time I tried to hit you, your brother ran away, and only you stood there waiting for me to hit, waiting to hit …

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6. My daughter-in-law has been addicted to fishing since she participated in a fishing activity organized by her unit. She is also very lucky these days, and she can return home with a full load every time. Now, there are more fish at home than you can eat. The daughter-in-law sent them upstairs and downstairs door to door. Aunties and grandmothers were very happy and praised her. They all gave thumbs up and said that she was capable. At this time, my daughter-in-law was very happy and smiled brightly ... I was always proud of her until I got a call from my brother-in-law last night. "Xiaoxiang, what happened to your daughter-in-law these days? I go fishing in my fish pond every day, but she doesn't listen to me when I say she ... "I" ......

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7. Girlfriend: Husband, I feel ill. I am bored and may die.

Me: Say, what can I eat to live?

Girlfriend: Hot pot!

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8. In class, Xiao Ming: Teacher, I have diarrhea, so I have to ask for leave.

Teacher: Are you going to buy medicine?

Xiao Ming: No, I have eaten.

Teacher: Then you go to the toilet?

Xiaoming: I'll change my pants.

Teacher: Get out. .

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9. Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend. She ordered a bowl of fried rice with shrimp and beef. As soon as the meal was served, she stirred in the bowl, picked some prawns and threw them into my bowl. I was deeply moved and envied by several men next to me. . .

Suddenly I looked at her with alacrity in my heart.

She gave me a white look and said, "What are you looking at? Peel the shrimp for me quickly. . . "

Gee, I ... .

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10, a girl, with short hair since childhood, very naughty, with a basic skirt. On my ninth birthday in the third grade of primary school, my mother thought it was impossible, so she bought me a gorgeous plush skirt. Wearing school clothes, our head teacher shouted at me:

"What skirts do boys wear!"