Seeking authentic northeast jokes

This story is circulated in my hometown in Northeast China to laugh at myself. We northeastern people never make fun of others, saying that whoever wants can only bury themselves.

It is said that several Northeasters went to Beijing to discuss business, and they succeeded. I am very happy to go to the Grand Hotel to celebrate.

After sitting down, a man said that the waiter brought a bottle of wine. The waiter brought a bottle of wine. How much did the man ask? The waiter said 2800, the man said "open" and the waiter opened it. The man went on to say "just kidding". It's too expensive to drink, so I thought about drinking some tea and called "waiter, tea!" " The waiter begins to check "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8". The man was in a hurry. "Pour the tea!" The waiter hurriedly "eight, seven, six, five". Northeasters quit. "What are you?" The waiter quickly said, "I am a dog."

The northeast man shouted, "Get me your manager." When the manager came, the northeast man said, "Look at your waiter. Let her serve tea, she will count. Let her pour the tea, and she will count backwards and ask her what to count. " The manager smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, she's new here and doesn't understand, but she's not lying. She really belongs to a dog. "

After dinner, a bowl of turtle soup was served. The northeast man asked, "waiter, can I drink this turtle soup?" "The waiter said," Sir, tortoise, it just drinks soup. "

Drinking and drinking, these people see, alas, there are bastards. One man said, "waiter, give us that bastard." The waiter smiled and said to them, "sir, you can't divide it." There are eight of you and seven assholes. "