How can people with low emotional intelligence offend everyone?

Some people seem to have a natural magic that makes you want to strangle him every time you communicate with him, such as this:

"Xiao Li, have you finished the PPT you wrote yesterday?"

"Supervisor, I'll do it right away and send it to you later."

"Haven't you started yet? I will report to the manager tomorrow morning. What report do you want me to take? "

"I'm sorry, director, I'm very busy these days. I'll send it to you after I finish tonight, that's all. "

Supervisor: ...............................................................

From the above situation, you will find that the supervisor is like a child who is about to have an emotional breakdown, while Xiao Li is like a helpless parent.

First, what is emotional intelligence?

According to the definition of Encyclopedia, EQ refers to the ability to identify the emotions of oneself and others, so as to use emotional information to guide decision-making and behavior.

In other words, a truly high EQ person should be able to listen to the information conveyed by emotions and use this information to make decisions, but he will not be controlled by emotions and fall into it.

On the other hand, people with low emotional intelligence just can't listen to the information conveyed by emotions, and can't use the information to make decisions, thus losing their judgment and making wrong reactions.

For example, in the above scenario, Xiao Li couldn't tell the anxiety conveyed by the supervisor, didn't understand the supervisor's attention to this work, and made a wrong response. He really offended his leader. I don't know what happened.

Second, how do people with low emotional intelligence offend people?

I remember reading a joke before, which probably means:

A host invited four guests, three of them came, and one of them didn't come. He was so anxious that he said, "Why didn't you come?"

One of the three people who came said to himself, "What do you mean I shouldn't come?" ? So I left.

When the host saw someone leaving, he was anxious and said, "Why don't you leave?" ?

One of the remaining two people thought, "what do you mean by people who shouldn't leave?" Does this mean I should go? Come, I'll go too. " So he left, too

The master was anxious again and said, "Why did you both leave?" ?

"Is to go! Because you are too stupid to speak, and you say' those who should come don't come', then those who should come must not come, shouldn't come, shouldn't leave? When that person left, you said,' You shouldn't leave', so those who didn't leave must leave! Should we go or not? People are picky, so don't talk like that in the future. "

"oh! I'm not talking about them! "

"oh! It's me! "

So, the last guest also left!

This is the person who offended people and didn't know what was going on.

People with low emotional intelligence offend people because they don't stand on the other side's channel, but act from their own point of view, without considering the other side's position and feelings, thus making a wrong reaction and making the other side feel embarrassed.

Third, how to cultivate your emotional intelligence and have good interpersonal relationships?

In the EQ model put forward by Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and journalist, five elements are pointed out: self-awareness, emotional control, self-motivation, cognition of others' emotions, and handling of mutual relations. The first three of them refer to being kind to yourself, and the last two refer to being kind to others.

To improve your EQ, you should improve it in the above five dimensions respectively.

The purpose of cultivating emotional intelligence is to have good interpersonal relationships, and the essence of interpersonal relationships is to achieve a win-win situation. This requires us not only to identify and control our emotions, but also to have empathy, consider each other's needs from each other's point of view, help each other achieve what he wants, and then achieve their own goals. So as not to offend people, I don't know what's going on.

In short, you will find that people with good interpersonal relationships, whether doing things or being a person, will make each other feel very comfortable. This is because they are kind-hearted and considerate, consider everything from the other side's point of view, help others realize their own ideas and achieve their own goals, so as to achieve a win-win situation.