Can you give me some hilarious jokes? Simple

1. A gecko got lost in front of a securities company. At this time, a crocodile crawled over and planned to eat it. In desperation, the little gecko stepped forward and hugged the crocodile's leg, shouting loudly: "Mom!" The crocodile was stunned and immediately burst into tears: "Son, you have become so thin after just half a month of stock trading. ? ”

2. A certain person was so scared that he didn’t dare to open his eyes. After 15 minutes, he looked out the window and shouted: “Oh, it’s flying so high. Like an ant!"

The neighbor said: "That's an ant, the plane hasn't taken off yet"

3. A lumberjack went to apply for a job.

Foreman: Go try the woods ahead...see how many trees you can saw in one minute...

One minute later...

Foreman: Wow... 20 trees in one minute... That's amazing... Where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara Forest...

Foreman: Never heard of it...I only heard of Sahara Desert...

Worker: Yes...I changed my name later!

4. After the company got off work, several computers gathered together to play Landlord, and the water fountain also played. He loses every time but still insists on participating every day. Sofa didn't understand very well and asked the chair: Why are you still fighting so hard when the water dispenser loses every day? The chair said, "Asking this kind of question, is your brain flooded?

5. There are 5 eggs in the refrigerator. The first one said to the second one: Hey~ Look~ the fifth egg It’s hairy~~ It’s so scary~!

The second one said to the third one: Look~ the fifth egg is hairy~~ It’s so scary!

The third one said: Oh, look, the fifth egg is furry. . .

I heard it! Kiwi~!

6. Xiao Ming: “Wow, why is your face so swollen?

Xiao Le: "Oh, yesterday I was bitten by a mosquito while boating with my dad." . .

Xiao Ming: "The swelling is so severe. You must have been bitten by it for a long time, right?" "

Xiao Le: "As soon as it landed on my face, my father beat it to death with a paddle. "

Xiao Ming: "! ! ! "

7. A little tiger came over slowly and asked the little squirrel with a red face: "Excuse me, can I eat you?" "

The little squirrel thought this question was quite funny and said: "Is this your first time eating animals? "

The little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, "Yes, mother is not at home anymore." ”

The little squirrel asked curiously: “Then what did you eat before?” "

"..."

"What? Speak louder, I can't hear you. ”

“Eating milk! After saying that, the little tiger's face turned even redder.

8. A man was passing by a wheat field and found a cow without horns, so he asked the farmer: "Why does this cow have no horns?" "

The farmer said: "There are many reasons why cows don't have horns. Some are due to genetics, some are lost due to illness, and some are lost due to contact with other cows. This cow has no horns because it is a donkey. "

9. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp. The magic lamp said: "I can only grant you one wish, please tell me quickly, I am in a hurry." "Man: "I want a wife..." The magic lamp immediately transformed into a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm almost starving to death and you're still greedy for beauty! sad! "After saying that, he disappeared. Person: "...cake. "

10. The panda man wanted to ejaculate the panda girl, but the panda girl fought hard and refused to obey. After the panda man failed, he said angrily: "We are all going to be extinct!" ”