A little joke between husband and wife

Laughter can increase energy consumption by exercising abdominal muscles. In addition, laughter may affect the neuroendocrine system that controls blood sugar concentration. The following are jokes between husband and wife, welcome to read.

A hobby of collecting.

The collector said to his new wife, "After marriage, I hope you can have a hobby of collecting."

Wife: "Of course, I specialize in collecting bank cards and passbooks of our family and the elderly."

Losing weight for half a month is effective.

After losing half a month, I took out my favorite jeans and put them on.

As soon as my husband saw me, he said, "Oh, I've lost weight, really!"

I was so happy that I was about to kiss my husband, only to hear him say, "You used to look good in these jeans, but now they are all tied to your legs!" "

Fierce exercise of husband and wife

The couple went out for an outing by bike.

After they climbed a big slope with difficulty, the husband panted, this, this slope is really steep, it's really difficult to climb, and I'm exhausted!

My wife agreed, yes, if I hadn't stepped on the brakes tightly, we would have slipped down.

The sea and miles

Husband: I don't understand why a nautical mile is almost one seventh longer than a mile on land.

Wife: It's simple, dear. You know, things swell when soaked in water.

Song Wu, of course.

One day, a couple went to a friend's birthday party

When his wife went to the bathroom, the husband began to brag at the party.

Someone asked him, "I heard that you and your wife are very loving?"

Of course, she sees me like a tiger.

Just then, his wife heard his words and asked, "Dear, who is the tiger?"

The husband had to please his wife and say, "I am a tiger, and of course you are Song Wu."

Advice to everyone

There is a saying to all men: "If you are at odds with your daughter-in-law, she will coax you.". If you don't stop, you will coax her, and your role will change immediately ... not worth the candle! "

The washing machine is broken.

Wife: "I called your mother today."

Husband: "Our washing machine is broken again?"

Not disorderly development.

Wife: Why don't you let me get breast implants!

Dave: Don't you know that you can't develop indiscriminately on the hillside?

Just farted

In the church, a couple got married. The priest asked the bride, "whether you are poor or sick, would you like to marry this man beside you as his wife?"

The bride suddenly heard the word "no" and blushed. The priest was shocked and immediately announced, "Since the lady doesn't agree, the wedding is invalid!" "

The groom immediately asked the bride why, and the bride said, "Just farted!"

The price there has also increased.

Yesterday, my husband came home and wrapped a bundle of burning paper, which was more than one meter high and a pile of kind coins.

I'm going over there to burn paper for his parents. I asked why I bought so many.

He said, "Now that prices are so high, there will be price increases there."

Hold on to mistakes, not correct them.

The wife complained that her husband knew his mistake but refused to correct it.

The husband said, "If I corrected my mistake, I would have divorced you!" "

Which woman?

One night, I drove my husband's car to go shopping. When I came back, I found the car was covered with dust, so I scrubbed it for a while. When I finally entered the room, I shouted: The woman who loves you the most in the world just scrubbed your headlights and windshield.

My husband looked up and said, is mom here?

Shakespeare

A couple came home from a party. The husband complained to his wife, "How can you say that Shakespeare is a kind of wine in front of so many people?"

The wife said innocently, "What is that?"

The husband sighed and said, "Don't talk nonsense if you don't know. Shakespeare is a can. "

There is no need to cheat.

The politician said to his wife: You should congratulate me, I was elected!

Wife: Are you kidding?

Politician: No, dear, not now!

have a dream

Wife: "I had a dream last night that you promised me 1000 yuan to buy clothes." I think you will definitely fulfill my dream? "

Husband: "What a coincidence! I also had a dream last night. I dreamed that I gave you 1000 yuan! "