A joke caused by the lack of punctuation.

Punctuation-induced jokes ◆ The most wonderful short message in the world-punctuation. Hugo (1802- 1885), an outstanding bourgeois-democratic writer in the history of French literature, has his famous work Les Miserables. After Hugo sent the manuscript of Les Miserables to the editorial department, he didn't get the news for a long time, so he wrote to ask. The letter wrote: "? As a result, the reply from the editorial department came soon, which read: "! -Editorial department. "The masterpiece Les Miserables was published not long after.

There is no public toilet in the market town, so people often urinate in an alley on the street. Residents on both sides are very annoying, so they asked a scribe to write a banner and post it. The banner says "pedestrians are not allowed to urinate here", and the result is invalid. One day, I caught a man urinating, and I questioned him. We wrote a notice that said "pedestrians are not allowed to urinate here". Why don't you listen to dissuasion and insist on urinating here? The man said that it clearly said, "Pedestrians, can't wait, I'm in a hurry to pee here!" " "

A friend came to his house before, and he didn't intend to stay at home. In the afternoon, it rained again, so the man wrote a banner, "Stay in rainy days and accompany me tomorrow" and put it on the table for friends to see, meaning "Stay in rainy days and accompany me tomorrow". But that friend just wouldn't go. He read, "If it rains and stays for a day, will you stay with me?" Stay. "

There was a young man, and the matchmaker introduced him to the object. The engagement letter says, "This woman has a pockmarked face, no hair, dark skin, white idiot and pure feelings, excluding engagement fee." The young man was very happy and thought that "this woman has no face, black hair and white skin, and she is stupid and naive, regardless of salary." I was dumbfounded when I saw him. It turned out that "this woman has a pockmarked face, no hair, dark skin and white idiot, and even pure love is indispensable for engagement money."

Once upon a time, there was a teacher who was employed by a rich man. At the beginning of the year, the document stipulated that "there can be no meat, fish, chicken, duck and radish dishes, and you must pay for school". The rich man was very happy and thought, "Fish without meat can be used, chickens and ducks can also be used, radish dishes can't be bad, and it doesn't cost money to go to school." At the end of the year, the teacher begged for money to learn, saying that at the beginning of the year, we had agreed that "fish without meat can be used, chickens and ducks can also be used, and radish vegetables can't pay tuition."

Zhu Zhishan writes couplets. Zhu Zhishan (1460- 1526) was a famous calligrapher in the Ming Dynasty, and he was also called "the four great talents in the south of the Yangtze River" with Tang Bohu, Wen Zhiming and Xu Zhenqing. Legend has it that he wrote couplets and made many jokes.

During the Hongzhi period of the Ming Dynasty, a new house of a rich man was completed, and Zhu Zhishan was asked to write a couplet "This house is safe, and this person is very sad". The rich man was very unhappy and said, why did you write such unlucky words to me? Zhu Xiao's novel: "I'll read it to you. This house is safe, livable, good and not sad. This is good luck! " The rich man felt ridiculous when he heard this.

According to legend, on New Year's Eve, Zhu Zhishan and buddhist nun passed by a member of my family and suddenly heard the baby fall to the ground crying, so they conveniently wrote a couplet on the gate, "This year is really unlucky. Last night, I gave birth to a demon, not a good child and grandson. " On the morning of New Year's Day, as soon as Mr. W opened the door, he read, "This year is really unlucky. I can't afford to go in. I gave birth to a demon last night, not a good son and grandson. " I was so angry that I went to Zhu Zhishan Theory. Zhu Zhishan said, you got the sentence wrong. You should read "this year is really good, really unlucky, money comes in;" I was born last night, but the demon is not here. What a good son and grandson. " Hearing this, Mr. W turned anger into joy and raised his glass to thank him.

◆ Xie Jin interprets poetry. Xie Jin, a native of Ji 'an, Jiangxi, was smart and studious since childhood. Hong Wu was a scholar in 2 1 year, and one of the great talents in Ming dynasty. During the Yongle period, someone presented an exquisite fan to the emperor, with a picture on it: white clouds in the sky, underground rivers, steep peaks towering into the clouds, and the utopia looked lonely. A man is playing the Qiang flute by the willow tree by the river, and his expression is focused. Emperor Yongle liked this painting very much, so he invited a contemporary celebrity and great genius, Bachelor Jie Jin, and ordered Jie Jin to write poems according to the meaning of this painting. Jie Jin took the fan and saw that it was the Liangzhou Ci of Wang Zhihuan, a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty. So without thinking, he wrote a poem on the fan with a stroke of a pen on the spot: "The Yellow River is far above the white clouds (houses), and Liu Chunfeng is just Yumenguan, so don't complain." Due to negligence, Jie Jin left out the word "between the Yellow River and the white clouds" in his writing. Emperor Yongle was accompanied by a minister named Gao Xu, who discovered Jie Jin's mistake and immediately told him that Jie Jin had committed the crime of "deceiving the monarch". The emperor took the fan and saw that the word "room" was missing. He thinks that Jie Jin deliberately deceived him because he has no knowledge and wants to put Jie Jin to death. Jie Jin never thought that losing a word would lead to death. Fortunately, at that time, writing articles didn't need punctuation, and it was up to the readers themselves to break sentences. Jie Jin used his quick wits to make suggestions and laugh at Gao Xu. Emperor Yongle asked angrily, "Why are you laughing when you are dying?" Jie Jin replied, "Long live the anger. I laugh at ignorance. I only talk to saints. I just added another word to Wang Zhihuan's poem. There is a difference between a poem and a word. There are four lines of poetry, not a word. " When Jie Jin said this, he broke the sentence on the spot and chanted, "There are white clouds far away from the Yellow River. Wan Ren Mountain is an isolated city. Why should a strong brother complain? " Willow spring breeze, not Yumen Pass. "Jie Jin sang fluently. Hearing this, the emperor was happy again. He praised Jie Jin for his good writing and learning. He released Xie Jin on the spot and gave him money to calm him down.

◆ Shallow schoolmaster. In the past, there was a teacher in a private school. When teaching students to read the University, there is a passage in the University: "Zhi Zhi will decide later, then he will be quiet, then he will be quiet, then he will be safe, then he will think, and then he will get it." Mr. Wang said: "After Zhi Zhi settles down, you can be quiet, you can feel at ease, you can think about it and you can get it." Mr. Wang consciously wants to know how the word "get" disappeared. Because his book was copied by a gentleman in Nishimura, I went to ask him. Nishimura Shu said, "That's an extra word in the original book! Zhi Zhi will have it in the future. Make up your mind before doing it, calm down before doing it, settle down first, think about it before doing it, and get it! " Dongcun Normal School said angrily, "It turns out that you copied one word less from my book, and you still treat saints so unscrupulously. Didn't it delay your later life? "

◆ Eunuch declared a letter. One day, Emperor Kangxi invited Prince Suhacha to Beijing. So it was written: "Prince Suhacha went to Beijing on the 8th", but when the eunuch announced the decree, he read: "Prince Suhacha went to Beijing on the 8th."

◆ There is a story about the will in the Bao Gong case. It is said that an old man in his 10 s gave birth to a son, fearing persecution by his son-in-law. Before he died, he wrote a will, which said, "An 80-year-old man gave birth to a son, and family property is not allowed to dispute with his son-in-law's outsiders." He gave the will in duplicate to his son-in-law and stepmother for safekeeping. The son-in-law read the will, "I am happy to share all the inheritance when the 80-year-old man is born." When the son grew up, the stepmother went to Kaifeng to complain, and Lord Bao took back all the inheritance and gave it to his son. The reason is that "an 80-year-old man gave birth to a son, and people said it was my son." "The family property has been paid, and the son-in-law is not allowed to fight."

A young man working in a foreign country wrote a letter to his parents. Because he doesn't study hard and has no punctuation, there is a passage that says, "My son's life is too painful. He has no food, but he is ill and makes a lot of money." After reading it, his mother cried and said, "My son's life is so bitter, he has no food, and he is sick and earns a lot of money." His father said with a smile, "My son has a good life, with no pain at all, more food, less illness and more money."