Tell me a joke?

1, the 13th fan captain Zhu Fu's birthday is coming, and his seven players are going to chip in to buy him a birthday cake. It's a pity that there is a big cake in the shop. It's 20 yuan, which is not easy for seven people to share. A team member suggested to the boss, "How about 2 1 yuan?"

Love time finally came to visit Bai Zai's house and accidentally broke a vase on the way. Bai Zi said coldly, "That's an antique!" "After listening, I breathed a sigh of relief:" Thank God, this is not new! " "

3. Aizen: "If the old man Yamamoto doesn't take back what he said to me this morning, I will leave Jingling Pavilion!"

Chu Sen: "What did he say?"

Aizen: "He told me to leave here."

4. Hua Taro was very enthusiastic when he first joined the quadruple team and answered questions for patients every day. One day he saw a patient lying in bed, so he went over and said, "Do you need any help?" The patient just made some vague noises. Hua taro continued to ask, but the patient still uttered that vague sentence. Finally, the patient gradually weakened and died. Mr. Hua Taro sadly told Captain Mao Zhihua about the death of the patient. The captain asked him to imitate what the patient said, and he imitated it seriously. The captain said, "My flowers are too bright. He said,' You are standing on my oxygen pipe!' " ! "

In order to show concern for the young god of death, the old man Yamamoto suddenly walked into the grass-roots canteen of Zhenyang Lingshu. In the canteen, he saw spring water and floating bamboo standing in front of a big soup pot and said, "Let me taste this soup!" "

"But ..." Spring water said.

Yamamoto: "But what? Give me the spoon "... then he took a long drink and cursed angrily:" Shit! How could you give this to the dead! ! ! This is just like brushing pot water! "

Chunshui: "I want to tell you ... but you have tasted it ..."

6, the soul issued a reward order: you can get 50 million yuan if you catch a broken face! There were two interns, so I started looking everywhere. After several days of hard work, they were exhausted and fell asleep on the ground. When one of them woke up, he found them surrounded by more than 500 broken faces. He quickly woke up the other one and said, "Get up, we are rich!" " "

7. The old man Yamamoto asked each captain: "Captain Rifangu, please tell me, what is the boundary of corpse marriage?"

"The world of corpse marriage is my mother!" Day every ancient replied cheerfully.

"Yes, you answered very well. The spirit world is your mother and you should love her. " Yamamoto said with satisfaction.

"kira yamato, what do you say? What is the spiritual world? " He asked.

"The spirit world is the mother of Captain Rivangu!"

8. At the speech ceremony of the reconstruction of Jingling Pavilion, a royal family made a thought report: "... I am the son of the people in the soul world."

Suddenly someone said, "I belong to the soul world."

9. When Dong Xiangang became the captain, he admired those who said that Lotus had a good eloquence, but he couldn't tell jokes, so he went to a speech class.

One day, the teacher finished speaking and finally said, "My best time was spent in the arms of a woman, but this woman is not my wife!" " "Everyone was shocked.

Then the man said, "She is my mother!" "Everyone smiled and applauded warmly.

Dong Xian is envious, so she also wants to try this interesting word. On this day, he went to the front of the line and tried to use this humor again. Suddenly, he found that he couldn't remember, but he still said loudly, "My best time was spent in a woman's arms, but she was not my wife!" " The players were stunned.

Dong Xian was very embarrassed. She was silent for almost ten seconds, trying to remember, but finally she couldn't figure it out and had to give up: "... I really can't remember who she is!" "

10, looking for Xiao Jian at 8,000 a day, but he found that he was missing, so he called Madarame Ikkaku to look for him. Everywhere he went, he poked a corner with a knife and asked him where he was. I'm tired of being asked a corner. In another place, he poked at another corner and asked, "What is this place?" A corner said angrily, "This is the donkey!" " "