A joke story that relaxes you.

1 dog eye

A man with a dog said angrily to the owner of a pet shop. You sold this dog to me as a doorman. Last night, a thief came into my house and stole my money from 300 yuan, but the dog didn't say a word. ? The boss immediately replied:? The dog's former owner was a multimillionaire, and he didn't care about the 300 yuan at all. ?

2 Alone.

Peter stood at the corner of the road, crying sadly. ? Why are you crying? A kind old woman asked. ? I'm lost. Where do you live? I didn't know we moved today. What's your name? I didn't know mom got married today. ?

3 Cuba

Husband came home unexpectedly and saw the ashtray by the bed? And smoking a cigar, staring at that cigar suspiciously and growling at his wife who was huddled by the bed. Where did this come from? After a silence, a trembling man's voice came from the closet, Cuba.

4 encourage

The head nurse stopped a wife who ran out of the operating room in panic and asked strangely, what's the matter? Why did you run out? As soon as I entered, I heard the nurse say, Be brave and don't be afraid! Appendiceal surgery is very simple. ? That's not bad But she said it to the doctor who was going to operate on me! ?

5 customers

A customer angrily ran into the tailor's shop and pointed to the fashion designed by the shopkeeper for him. I stood on the street corner yawning, and two people stuffed the letter into my mouth! ?

Take good care of yourself.

Honey, today is Sunday. Please lie down and have a good rest. You have been busy with work for six days a week, doing housework and taking care of children, but you are exhausted! Today is our day off. I want to serve you, care for you and take care of you. Come on, I'll make tea while the child is still sleeping. I'll make a fire. Ouch! This damn wood, how so prickly! It's nothing. I'll find my own tweezers to clip out the thorn. Hello, where is the sewing box? In the drawer? Which drawer? Ah, you don't have to get up! Oh, that's terrible! The salt can is broken. It doesn't matter. I'll clean it right away. You can rest in peace! Where did you put the broom? Behind the door? Oh, here it is! The tea is boiling. I will bring you delicious milk tea soon. Do you have fresh milk? Where did you say it was? In the shed outside? Ok, I'll go out and have a look. Oh, what bad luck! The horse's hand in the milk bucket fell off. What a pity! All the milk has been spilled! Well, then, I'll treat you to strong tea without milk! What? what did you say ? /Excuse me? Too bitter to drink? That's bullshit！ This kind of tea is not drinkable. Why don't you make it yourself? I am not your servant!

7 about priests

There is a priest who works in a village. This village lives by fishing, so the men in the village are often absent. Then all the women in the village were lonely. Almost all the women in the village have affairs, of course, their husbands don't know. And those women will confess to the priest after having an affair. Father has heard too much. He was a little tired, too, so he told the women who asked him to confess that the word cheating would be changed to depravity in the future. Just talk about falling. I knew it. So after a few months, the priest was transferred to another place. He was worried that the new priest wouldn't understand this unwritten rule, so he told the village head before he left. He told the village chief that he must tell the new priest the meaning of "depravity". After the new priest came, the village chief forgot to tell him about it.

Every time a woman in the village confesses to the priest that she fell down again today, the priest always tells them that it is better to get up after falling down, but because it often happens, the new priest thinks this is not the way, so he goes to the village head and tells the story, suggesting that the village head improve the road construction in the village, so that no one will fall down often, and the village head laughs. The new priest unknown so said quietly, "What are you laughing at? The village chief's wife has fallen down three times this week?

8 huaguan

A painter held a solo exhibition. A lady came to the exhibition room and stood in front of a painting for a long time. She said: if only I could know the author of this painting! ? The painter standing by came over and said, madam, I am the author. ? The lady said, this painting is great! Can you tell me who is the tailor who made the skirt for the lady in the photo?

9 discipline

In other words, the United States has strict control over teenagers' drinking, and they can only go to bars to buy drinks when they are eighteen. Peter has a son who just turned eighteen this year. In order to show that he is open-minded and loves his son very much, Peter took his son to a bar to get drunk. In the middle of drinking, Peter suddenly thought that it would be bad if his son was drunk and didn't know, so Peter said to his son seriously: son! Do you see two lights in front of the bar? When two lights turn into four, it means you are drunk, and it's time for you to go home. But I didn't expect my son to suddenly say to Peter suspiciously: Dad! But there is only one lamp at the door.

How time flies!

When the pension system was implemented before the First World War, there was an old fisherman named Dai Lewis, who was over 70 years old and fully qualified for a pension. However, he could not produce a birth certificate to prove it. One day, a local official visited him. Here is their conversation: Dai, where were you born? Cork county. Don't you remember when you were born? I don't remember. That was a long time ago. When did you leave Ireland? I left home at the age of thirteen and lived on a farm in northern Scotland for nineteen years. Later, he worked as a guide for a fisherman in southern Scotland for 25 years. After that, I worked as a gamekeeper for seventeen years and then moved here. How long have you lived here? Dai asked his wife who was cooking in the kitchen loudly, "Mary, how long have we been married?" In thirty-four years, the official put down his pen and said, according to what you just said, you should be one hundred and eight years old. God, how time flies! ?

1 1 advertisement

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12 don't know who you are.

Kennedy gambled with others and lost miserably. After a little thought, he said to himself, well, I'll put the most precious things on it. ? The gambler asked quickly: What good things? Take it out and see! ? Kennedy threw his heart away and shouted, I put my life on the line! ? The gambler burst out laughing. What is the value of life? We're already dead! ?

13 valuables

The father held his five-year-old son in his lap and watched the basketball game with rapt attention. The child saw the athlete return to the revolution to grab the ball and asked: Dad, basketball must be expensive, right? Dad said in surprise. Honey, why do you think so? The child said. If it's not expensive, why don't they each buy one?

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