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Tencent Joke Daily

Tencent jokes daily selection

One of Tencent's daily jokes:

1. When someone treats you, the guests occasionally say that loofah is impotent, not as good as leek. After a while, the host asked the woman to add rice, but she shouldn't. Ask your son and mother where to go, Zidao? Mother went to the vegetable garden. ? Why do you ask? Zidao:? Mom wants to pull out loofah and grow leeks. ?

2. An 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, and soon the girl got pregnant. The old man took the girl to the hospital for examination.

The old man asked the doctor: Is it mine?

Doctor: Let me tell you a story first.

A man was in the forest with a water gun. He met an evil tiger. The man panicked, raised his gun and the tiger died. Why?

Old man: Someone must have shot the sniper in the back! ?

The doctor said nothing?

After work, several male and female colleagues get together in the restaurant. The male colleague wants white wine and the female colleague wants yogurt.

After a while, the young lady brought food and white wine, and the male colleagues began to eat and drink.

A male colleague suddenly found that he didn't give the lesbian yogurt, so he asked the lady, Do you have any milk?

The young lady blushed and mumbled a reply:? Yes, not much. ?

A male writer created a column in a magazine to solve some problems in life for readers.

One day, a reader contributed: I am a male clerk in a women's shoe store. I have a very troublesome thing and I don't know how to solve it. Because the business of the shoe store I serve is very prosperous, customers are always flowing from morning till night, so I have to squat down every day to try on shoes for my guests. Although this is only a small matter, do you know? There are many female guests who don't wear underwear at all, so whenever I try on shoes for her, I always see something I shouldn't see. This really made my heart beat faster and my face turned red. Every time I have an impulse to touch it, what do you think I should do?

Tencent jokes daily selection 2:

A group of terrorists rushed into the venue of an international conference and took more than 100 politicians who attended the conference hostage. Subsequently, the terrorists put forward their conditions to the government and declared that if they didn't agree, they would release a politician every hour.

The general asked the soldier:? Rustev, please tell me, what is the motherland?

? General, my motherland is my mother! ? Rustev replied brightly.

? Yes, you answered very well. ? The general said with satisfaction.

? Private Roark, what do you say? What is the motherland? The general then asked another soldier.

? General, the motherland is Rustev's mother! ?

A reporter asked the people of the three countries: What do you personally think of the world's food shortage?

Americans say:? I don't understand what lack is! ?

The Ethiopian said:? I don't understand what food is! ?

Singaporeans say:? I don't know what my personal opinion is! ?

Lao Wang hurried into a pub and asked for a bottle of soju. He angrily scolded:

? Damn, politicians are like beggars! ?

Then the person sitting next to him shouted at him: Please take back what you just said! ?

Lao Wang looked a little scared: Are you a politician?

? No, I'm a beggar! ? The man answered angrily.

Lao Wang was re-elected as the chairman of the trade union for four times. The reporter from xx Daily came to interview him and talked about the feeling of being re-elected. ? Chairman Wang, can you talk about the feeling of being re-elected? Lao Wang just laughed, pointed to the hamburger on the table and invited reporters to eat it. The chairman invited me to dinner, which was a face, and the reporter was happy to eat a piece. Just after eating, old Wang Ren pointed to a hamburger and invited reporters to eat it. This is a big face. The reporter ate the second piece happily. The reporter was preparing to interview, and Lao Wang invited the reporter to eat the third hamburger. Although the stomach is no longer needed, it is an honor. The reporter managed to eat the third piece. ? You don't have to interview me about my feelings about being re-elected. You already feel it. ? Lao Wang said

One night, worried about everything, Clinton asked the driver to drive him around the country road to relax. Suddenly, the car hit a pig that ran out in the dark, and the pig was killed immediately. Clinton looked around and told the driver to go to the farmhouse not far away to explain what had just happened to the owner of the pig.

More than an hour later, Clinton saw his driver stagger back, holding a bottle of wine and a cigar in his mouth, and his clothes were scattered all over the floor.

? What's the matter with you? Clinton asked strangely.

? Aha, I can't believe that the farmer invited me to drink, and his wife gave me some cigars. Their 19-year-old daughter really made out with me for a while. ? The driver replied excitedly.

? God, how on earth did you explain it to them? Clinton was very surprised.

The driver muttered: I said I was Clinton's driver, and I just killed that pig. ?