What humorous lives did Mark Twain have?

Because of Mark Twain's excellent work during his interview in Hawaii, a newspaper quickly agreed to his terms, and Mark Twain was finally able to travel around the world.

During his trip to Europe, Mark Twain wrote many newsletters to newspapers. Travel notes and essays are still very popular with readers. However, for Mark Twain, the biggest gain of this trip should be knowing Charlie. Charlie is a young tourist on the boat, and he admires Mark Twain who has traveled all over the country (qρn): Respect Pei ... Dick Twain saw a picture of a girl he will never forget.

It was an afternoon when Twain visited Charlie's special class (cānɡ). 18 years old, Charlie warmly greeted him, told him about his family and showed Twain photos. That's Charlie's sister Olivia.

"She is the most beautiful girl in the world," Charlie said proudly. "It's not because she is my sister. I hope you can meet her and you will say the same thing. "

"Hey, she does have the most beautiful face, no one can compare with her. Kind and gentle, I really want to meet her, Charlie. " Mark Twain looked at Olivia's photo with wide eyes.

"Yes, why can't we meet in new york? I'll tell my mother to cook a delicious table and come to my house. Ah, you'll like her. We'll see. "

In fact, Mark Twain can't wait to finish his trip early and go back to new york to meet the beautiful girl in the photo. This time, he was really tempted.

After returning from Europe, Mark Twain found a newspaper as a reporter in order to earn money and make a living, and at the same time began to write the travel book "Fools Travel Abroad".

1867 One day in February, Mark Twain went to a big hotel to meet Charlie's family. Charlie's father is a coal mine owner and millionaire in new york. Twain finally met Charlie's sister Olivia. She has bright black eyes, long black hair, a lovely white face and a short figure. She looks elegant and generous in an embroidered long skirt.

Olivia is 22 years old, six years ago in winter. She fell down while skating on the ice, which paralyzed her: a part of her body completely or incompletely lost her ability to exercise because of nervous disorder. For the next two years, she became a bedridden patient. After several doctors' treatment, she was finally able to walk, but her body was still not very strong. Everyone in the family regards this fragile girl as a patient.

The Charlie family warmly hosted Twain and invited him to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Twain was a little dizzy with joy. He fell in love with the beautiful and pure Olivia at first sight. Mark Twain, 32, fell in love with a girl when he was a navigator ten years ago. Later, they broke up because of the opposition of the girl's parents. Since then, he has never been in love again. Until I saw Olivia today, he fell in love again.

The night passed so fast. He just broke up with Charlie's family. He couldn't wait to see them, mainly to see Olivia.

He waited impatiently for five days. When New Year's Day arrived, he went to Charlie's house to pay a New Year's call, met his beloved Olivia again, and stayed at her house for 13 hours. Originally, he listed 34 places for the New Year, but he only went to this one.

A few months later, Mark Twain visited Charlie's home again and stayed in his home for two weeks. He often walks with Olivia, and the two of them are talking and laughing and feel very happy. One day, thinking that the time was ripe, he boldly proposed to Olivia and was immediately rejected by her.

Olivia, as a good girl, has been spoiled since childhood and lived a very comfortable life. Her parents always regard their daughter as the apple of their eye and never allow any man to pay tribute to her. In her mind, Mark Twain is a figure who is good at making fun of him. She likes playing with him, but he suddenly proposed to her, which she never expected.

After being rejected by Olivia, Mark Twain finally decided to go home and visit his mother and sister. The night before he left, he wrote a letter to Olivia affectionately, which read:

"I really love you and never regret it (huǐ). I love you not only now, but also forever. Although I am very uncomfortable at present, I am willing to have no complaints ... I would rather fall in love with you than get your love, which is much better than the eternal love gap in my life, because looking back on the past years, I finally feel how beautiful everything in the world is for the first time, and truly realize what a noble and pure feeling I am pursuing. "

Mark Twain came home with a depressed heart, but he didn't expect to receive a letter from Olivia. Although there are only a few brief pleasantries, there is a photo in the letter, which Mark Twain saw on the boat. He likes it very much. Once he asked Charlie for it, but Charlie refused. Later, at Charlie's house, Twain also said that he wanted the photo, but Olivia didn't want to give her photo to a man easily. Somehow, she took the initiative to send her own photos. Mark Twain was deeply encouraged and immediately decided to return to new york.

Mark Twain came to Charlie's house again. This time, everyone was cold to him because they already knew about Ye Wen's proposal to Li Jiya. Even Charlie ignored Twain. He didn't expect this man "from the desolate western frontier" to propose to his sister, and he regretted not letting him know her.

As a courtesy, Charlie's father only let him stay for one night. However, Mark Twain was ignorant. He couldn't wait to propose to Olivia the next day, but she naturally refused.

Charlie knew about it and couldn't stand it any longer. At dusk, he coldly said to Mark Twain, "There will be a bus in half an hour, and you can still make it. You don't have to stay at our house for another night. Let's go. "

As night fell, Mark Twain left Charlie's house in a carriage and walked a few steps out of the gate. It happened that the horse pulling the cart jumped forward suddenly because it heard the whip of the driver. Twain was lifted (xiān) out of the car, head forward, and fell on the roadside steps.

His head didn't touch the stone on the ground, he didn't fall, and he didn't have any concussion. But Charlie's whole family came out. They poured wine on Twain, surrounded him and made a caring voice. Mark Twain made up his mind to pretend to be in a coma, close his eyes and listen to their voices. He thinks this is the happiest few minutes of his life.

Too many chefs happily carried Twain back and asked the doctor to check him out. Twain pretended to have pain that the doctor could not detect, and stayed at Olivia's house for another three days. Olivia sympathized with him and gave him meticulous care: she described being very considerate of others. Take care.

Three months passed in a blink of an eye, and Mark Twain was busy publishing A Fool's Foreign Travel. At the same time, he also made humorous speeches in various places, which was very successful. He went back to Olivia's home and lived there for a week, courting her every day. On Monday and Tuesday, Olivia avoided him. On Wednesday night, she finally told Mark Twain over and over again that she loved him, but immediately regretted it and said that she would break their love. On Thursday, she said that she fell in love with Twain and felt very happy and proud. Mark Twain won the first step, and the next step was to break through Olivia's parents.

Olivia's father asked Mark Twain to provide the names and addresses of six famous people. He wrote to them directly to find out about Mark Twain, and there must be two priests among them. Olivia's mother asked for a more demanding moment. She asked Mark Twain to provide the names and addresses of 18 women, and wrote to them to find out what they thought of Mark Twain. Mark Twain had to do it one by one.

Two months passed quietly, and all the letters of proof arrived. Olivia's father called Mark Twain and read aloud the letter of opposition. The two priests said that Mark Twain was an alcoholic and would die of alcoholism sooner or later.

"What are these people? Don't you even have a friend? " Olivia's father asked.

"Obviously not." Mark Twain answered helplessly.

The atmosphere in the room (fēn) was very dull, and the two men were silent for a long time. Mark Twain felt very sad. He felt that the marriage might not be approved. I didn't expect Olivia's father to point to those letters and say:

"My own family, decided to make friends with you. You married this girl and left. I know you better than these people. " He knew that his daughter had fallen in love with Mark Twain.

Mark Twain was overjoyed. He couldn't believe it was true.

After Mark Twain successfully proposed marriage, he wrote a letter to his friend Joseph with great joy. It can be seen that Mark Twain has been writing in a unique way:

Dear Joseph:

Let the tambourine ring loudly! I have a surprise for you. After fierce fighting, I finally won. I was rejected for the third time (referring to his proposal being rejected for three times), and even asked me to go back once, but I finally agreed. I won love. No matter how high the church steeple is in this city, I will fly over it. I begged her parents for 48 hours. They told me that if I didn't have a criminal record, I would become a noble person and have a stable job in the future, so I could have the sun in their house and take away the angel (qí) by their fireside.

Applause like thunder!

Mark Twain is Mark Twain after all. He is a man who always applauds himself!

Mark Twain, 35, was very happy when he became a father. He is determined to shoulder the burden of his family alone, and it is no good to continue to be a reporter. He works hard and has little money. However, Twain had his own way. He toured around giving lectures, which made him very popular and became more and more famous.

A few years ago, after he came back from a trip to Hawaii, although the newspaper paid him a lot of money (chóu), he also spent a lot of money and remained empty-handed. So he tried to give a speech and introduced his interesting experience in Hawaii (yí). He spent 50 yuan to rent a theater in San Francisco, and the lecture ticket was set at 1 yuan. But he is not famous. Who will listen to an ordinary reporter's speech about the Hawaiian Islands?

Mark Twain is an explorer. He dares to do what he has never done before, and tries his best to do it well. He made great efforts to make funny (J:) funny posters to attract (lái) audience. The poster reads: Speaker Mark Twain described the strange customs and habits of living in the Hawaiian Islands in the past, and wrote: "If his wife is willing to provide a baby, the speaker will publicly perform the scene of the savage (mán) eating the child alive."

On the night of his first speech, Mark Twain was very nervous and arrived at the theater two hours early. When the curtain was opened, Mark Twain stepped onto the stage and saw so many people under him. He suddenly had confidence, so he started his first speech and achieved success.

In his speech, Mark Twain was able to blurt out a series of clever comments, but his face showed a foolish indifference. However, he not only amused the audience with his one-liners and fěnɡny expressions, but also made people think deeply while making fun of his jokes.

Later, Mark Twain followed the advice of some friends and added some humor: funny or ridiculous, meaningful. The pantomime performance was very effective.

When Mark Twain began his speech, the curtain rose slowly. He seems to be sitting at home, sitting alone beside the piano on the stage, humming relaxed folk songs. Suddenly, he looked up and saw that the curtain had been opened, and then there was a puzzling expression on his face. The audience burst into laughter, and then Mark Twain stood up unhurriedly and got into the theme of his speech.

Sometimes he has a "speech" under his arm, but he never reads it. At the end of the speech, the speech crashed on the stage and caused laughter from the audience. He also likes to drag his tone in a ostentatious way, which makes the audience feel ridiculous.

On one occasion, many strange leaflets appeared on the streets of San Francisco, which read that celebrities from all walks of life strongly urged Mark Twain to get out of San Francisco immediately, and also printed an ultimatum (dié) signed by many social groups: no lectures. The leaflet ended with the words of the police chief: "You'd better kick Mark Twain out!"

People have asked who Mark Twain is, but they don't know that he made all the leaflets, which is another special manifestation of his humor. At night, the lecture hall is crowded with people: very crowded or tightly surrounded, as if even water can't be released …

Through hard exploration, Mark Twain constantly improved his speech skills and became more and more popular with the audience. He also found a new career.

Mark Twain's two books, A Fool's Travel Abroad and A Hard Life, were published and sold well at home and abroad. In Britain, people's enthusiasm for these two books even exceeds that of Americans. He came to England by boat and planned to hold a lecture in London, which I believe will be well received by the British audience.

When giving a speech, Mark Twain sometimes walks onto the stage as a Toastmasters staff member and publicly announces that the speaker is not present. I saw him talking nonsense and gushing: describing constantly (referring to more words). People suddenly realized that Hu M ? n was Mark Twain, a humorous speaker.

Mark Twain's humorous speech in England was a great success, which also brought him considerable income. Since then, Mark Twain has given many lectures abroad.

1895, Mark Twain made a major decision: to give a speech all over the world for one year.

Humor writer Mark Twain is warmly welcomed all over the world. The lecture hall is always packed. In his humorous speeches, Mark Twain sometimes interspersed with other contents, reading fragments of his works, telling jokes and interesting American folk stories. It can be said that he deserves to be the messenger of cultural exchange between the people of the United States and other countries.

Mark Twain likes telling the lost "golden arm" folk stories to blacks best. When he was 10 years old, he often listened to uncle Daniel, a black slave, telling this story with a little horror. Fifty years later, Mark Twain, now white-haired and 60-year-old, stood on the podium in a foreign country, learning the appearance of Uncle Daniel and asking over and over again:

"Where is my golden arm?"

At the end of the story, he suddenly stopped, stared at a girl who seemed a little scared under the stage and shouted, "You have my golden arm!" " "At that time, the whole audience was dumbfounded with fear: describing the appearance of being stunned by the shock. It seems that it took a long time to wake up, and then there was a burst of warm applause from the audience, thanking Mark Twain for bringing them into a magical fairy tale world and making a trip. His jokes about watermelon are also very popular. The naughty boy Sam stole a watermelon from someone else's melon garden. He knocked carefully, feeling it was not ripe, and gave it to the owner of the melon garden. In order to reward Sam's "honest" character, Guayuan mainly gave him a big, ripe and sweet watermelon.

These lecture tours have all achieved great success.

After entering the 1980s of 19, Mark Twain continued to write and his works kept coming out. He has become a world-famous humorist, and his works are popular not only in the United States, but also in many countries. His fame is getting bigger and bigger, and reporters often surround him and ask him to express his views on many issues. The humorous jokes made by Mark Twain himself or under his name are widely circulated among people.

There are many jokes about him, but which ones are true and which ones are false, and now there is no legend. But before he died, someone "hit the board" on the spot (in Austrian, it means nailing). It is said that there is an official who likes to show off, pretending to be humorous and telling a joke at every banquet, but he always relishes it. He always begins by saying, "I hope you haven't heard me tell this joke …". Once, Mark Twain couldn't help it. After telling an old joke, the official said with a straight face (because he couldn't laugh), "I'm sorry, not only have I heard this joke more than ten times, but I made it up myself." I originally wanted to earn some money, but I didn't expect it to make you laugh! "

Mark Twain often uses humorous and ironic brushstrokes in his literary creation. The book "The Golden Age of Gilding (dü)", written jointly by him and British writer Warner, is full of satire and ridicule, which exposes people's desire to get rich and their love for money after the American Civil War to the fullest: describe articles or conversations to the fullest, or expose them to the fullest ... After the completion, a reporter interviewed Mark Twain about the authenticity of the novel.

The reporter made his words public, so for a time, people applauded, worried and gloated. In particular, some members of Congress were very angry and asked him to clarify (chénɡ) and apologize. A few days later, a notice he wrote was published in The New York Times. The full text is as follows:

"A few days ago, a despicable person spoke at a banquet and said that some members of Congress were' sons of bitches'. Later, someone played tricks on me. I've thought it over and over again, and I think this statement is inappropriate (tu ǐ) and untrue. Therefore, the special issue stated that my words were revised as follows: "Some members of the United States Congress are not sons of bitches. "

When Mark Twain was working in a newspaper in Missouri, one day, he received a letter from a subscriber asking, "Mr. Mark Twain, I opened your newspaper today and found a spider. Is this a good omen or a bad omen? " Mark Twain wrote back: "You found a spider in our newspaper, which is neither a good sign nor a bad sign. The reason why this spider climbed to the newspaper was to see which businessman didn't advertise in our newspaper, so that it could go to the gate of that shop to build a net and live a quiet life. "

A young man who longed for fame but was afraid of hard work wrote to Mark Twain and asked him for the secret of successful writing. He wrote in the letter: "I heard that fish bones contain a lot of phosphorus, which is beneficial to the brain." It seems that to be a great writer, you must eat a lot of fish. I wonder if this statement is true. " He asked Mark Twain, "Did you eat a lot of fish? What kind of fish did you eat?"

Mark Twain wrote back: "It seems that you have to eat a pair of whales (J ρ n π)."

Mark Twain hated bankers the most. He said a well-known saying about bankers: "A banker is a person who lends you an umbrella on a sunny day and takes it back on a rainy day." He once told a joke that satirized bankers. It is said that a big banker spent a lot of money to install a glass eye because he was blind, and it was lifelike: it was described or imitated very well, very lifelike. Bankers are very proud and often boast of their eyes in front of others. One day, the banker met Mark Twain. He said to Mark Twain, "I bet you can't see which of my eyes is fake. If you can, I will pay you a dollar! " Mark Twain smiled, pointed to the fake left eye and said, "Do you still have to gamble?" ? I can tell at a glance, because you have a little human sympathy in one eye! "

Mark Twain's speech is very interesting. If you make up a dialogue between Mark Twain, it must be a good book to stimulate your appetite. Once, Mark Twain came to a small foreign city to give a speech. Before the speech, he went to the barber shop for a haircut. The barber didn't know Mark Twain, he asked. "Do you like our city?" Mark Twain replied, "Ah! I like it very much. This is a very good place. " "You're just in time," continued the barber. "Mark Twain will give a speech here tonight. I think you must want to hear it (lóu)? " "yes." Mark Twain said. "Did you get the ticket?" "Not yet." "Tickets are sold out, so you can only stand and listen." "What a nuisance!" Mark Twain sighed and said, "Whenever that guy gives a speech, I have to stand all the time."

Mark Twain likes to play jokes on everyone. Once, he borrowed a book from his neighbor. The neighbor said, "yes, but I have a rule: my books will never leave my library." If you want to see it, please see it here! " "Later, the neighbor borrowed a lawn mower from Mark Twain. Mark Twain said with a smile, of course, but I made a rule that the lawn mower borrowed from my home can only be used in my garden. "

On another occasion, Mark Twain played a joke on an animal husbandry teacher. He said, "Reverend, your speech was really wonderful, but I once read it in a book, and everything you said was in it." The priest immediately blushed and said angrily, "My speech is by no means plagiarism!" " ""but it's exactly the same as that book. " "Then lend me that book!" The priest said helplessly. A week later, the priest received a book from Mark Twain-a dictionary!

Because Mark Twain likes to play jokes on others, others try their best to repay him. On April Fool's Day, a newspaper in new york published an obituary: "Mark Twain died." As a result, Mark Twain's relatives and friends came from all over the world to mourn. When they came to Mark Twain's home, they saw Mark Twain sitting at his desk writing. Relatives and friends were surprised at first, and then they condemned the newspaper that made rumors.

Mark Twain was helpless, but remained silent: "The newspaper reported my death, which is true, but the date was a little earlier."

19 10 On April 2 1 day, on a spring afternoon, Mark Twain died at the age of 74. People all over the world are mourning for him.

In order for American compatriots to bid farewell to their dearest writer, his coffin was parked in a cathedral in new york, and thousands of people lined up to pay tribute to him.