Have you ever been given a nickname?

文||chuhua

1.

When I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, a few naughty boys in my class gave me a nickname - Black Skin. paste.

Yes, after hearing this nickname, it is not difficult for everyone to know that my skin was very dark when I was a child.

Starting from the fourth grade, I transferred from the village primary school to the town primary school. The classmates in the class are no longer just the dozen friends who are familiar with each other, but there are dozens of strangers.

Some of the new classmates were very friendly and would take the initiative to chat with me; but some were not so friendly. Seeing that I looked dark, they gave me the mocking appearance of "black skin cream". Number.

When I first heard this nickname, I was so sad that I wanted to cry. No one likes to be dark, and I also want to be fair like other little girls. I was already very unlucky, but why did they mock me with such an unpleasant nickname without caring about my feelings.

Every time someone calls me black skin ointment, it always elicits a burst of laughter. At this time, I can’t wait for a crack in the ground to appear immediately so that I can get into it.

Perhaps it was from that time that I began to feel inferior. I didn't dare to speak in class anymore because I was afraid of other people's eyes on me; I also hid in the classroom as much as possible because I was afraid of hearing my classmates outside the classroom pointing at me and saying to people in other classes: "Look, there are people in our class." A very dark girl!”

In an English class, the teacher was teaching us to say “good morning teacher”. The boy sitting at the table behind me didn't want to listen to the class, so he started to cause trouble. Of course, he didn't dare to do it openly. He only dared to kick my stool secretly and shouted behind me, "Heipi Gao, Hei Pi Gao!" I was so angry that I wanted to turn around. Turn around and sew his mouth shut.

But I didn’t dare, I didn’t even dare to turn around and ask him to stop barking!

But my ignorance did not stop him. Seeing that I ignored him, he even took the risk of being discovered by the teacher and pulled my ponytail.

Maybe he pinched me too hard and hurt me, or maybe he felt too wronged and helpless. At that moment, I felt so choked up that I burst into tears in class.

The English teacher was a young and gentle woman. She came to me and comforted me for a while, and then asked my deskmate what happened. After the teacher learned about the situation, he severely criticized the boy at the table behind me and asked him to apologize to me in front of the whole class.

Forced by the teacher's majesty, although not out of sincerity, he kept saying "I'm sorry" to me. My emotions haven't calmed down yet, and I'm still lying on the table crying. Maybe I should say "it's okay" to that boy at this time. But I couldn't say "it doesn't matter".

When I got to junior high school, the boys who used to call me my favorite nicknames were not in the same class as me. Great, no more people calling me "black skin cream," I thought.

Unexpectedly, when a boy passed by our class, he saw me sitting by the window in the corridor and shouted at me: "Black Skin Cream, it turns out you are in the second class!"

Everyone in the class heard it. I was so embarrassed and angry at the time that if I had been more aggressive, I might have rushed out and started a fight with him.

2.

When I used to write classmate records, in the motto column, I always filled in the sentence "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." I like this sentence so much. I know that my ideas cannot be imposed on others, but I hope those who call me nicknames can like this sentence as much as I do, and do it!

But not only can they not do it, they also seem to like to base their happiness on the pain of others.

Thinking about it now, their ridicule to me was a kind of mental bullying, which was as painful as suffering physical violence.

But fortunately, there are some very kind people around me.

I was in the first grade of junior high school that year.

One night, the lights in the dormitory were turned off, but everyone was still awake and chatting together.

I don’t know who started a topic - comparing myself to a kind of food. The girls finished speaking one after another, and I was the only one left silent. One girl said for me: "I think Liu Ling is chocolate." She paused and continued: "It is dark chocolate!"

" Hahahahaha..." The girls in the dormitory burst into laughter.

When I entered junior high school, I still had low self-esteem and was introverted, but I was less sensitive. Maybe I heard too many people calling me evil. In my heart, I still resist what others say about me, but I can now pretend not to care.

When I heard that girl’s words, I felt no emotion in my heart.

A girl sleeping next to me was very angry: "Don't say that to me! Why does it have to be dark chocolate, but I think Liu Ling is white chocolate?"

In the third grade of junior high school, we had weekly exams every week. After each exam, a few girls who played well liked to gather around to chat and play.

At that time, it was popular for us to copy lyrics, and almost everyone had a lyric book. That time, a few girls and I gathered around to read a lyrics book, and we sang while we were reading. I didn't sing at first, I just sat there and listened to them singing. Then I came to a song that none of the girls could sing.

"Liu Ling can sing this song!" My deskmate suddenly said to everyone. My deskmate continued: "Liu Ling, please sing a few lines for us!" Everyone immediately looked at me.

I hummed a few words softly. My deskmate actually applauded me: "Liu Ling, you sing beautifully!" In my impression, few people would praise me. When I heard my deskmate's words, I smiled sheepishly.

Later, my deskmate said to me: "Liu Ling, you are actually very beautiful. You have to be more confident!"

I am a person who is not good at words. Those two girls may never know, but what they said casually will be something I will never forget. I'm really grateful to them!

3.

The older I get, the more I feel relieved!

I have become less and less concerned about what others say about my skin color. No longer pretending not to care, but slowly letting go from the bottom of my heart.

After I entered high school, my classmates suddenly seemed to have grown up and become more sensible. No one would laugh at me because of my skin color.

When I was in college, I met a very nice class teacher. Her skin is very fair and she is very beautiful.

After the first class meeting in college, she posted a photo of herself with all of our classmates on WeChat Moments, as well as a few individual photos with some of her classmates. One of them is between me and her.

I sent a WeChat message to the class teacher and said: "Teacher, you are so beautiful. Standing next to you makes me look even darker."

The class teacher immediately sent me a long reply. : "Liu Ling, you are also very beautiful! You have to know that no matter whether your skin is white or black, as long as your skin color is even, you will look good. Your skin tone is very even!"

Yes, I am too. pretty!

I no longer mind others calling me dark, and I even use my dark skin to make jokes.

When I went to college, I started to pay attention to sun protection. I applied sunscreen every day, and I had to hold an umbrella when the sun was shining. After persisting for three years, my roommate said that I was much whiter than when I was a freshman. I smiled and said, "Really? Then I may be fading. When I finish fading, I will be as white as you!" "

In the past, "I look so dark!" I couldn't say this sentence, but now I often say it. Sometimes when I go out in the morning, the sun is not too bright. My roommate sees me holding an umbrella and thinks I shouldn’t hold it up because of the sunlight. I say matter-of-factly: “No, I want to fade and can’t bask in the sun!”

I remember one time in class, the not-so-tall teacher told us that he used to drink height-enhancing drugs and wear height-increasing shoes as a joke.

I don’t know if he used to be very concerned about being short, but I think he definitely doesn’t care now.

As I grow up, my heart becomes stronger and stronger. Things that I didn’t want to hear before are now used as jokes.

I am glad that I am slowly changing and will not always live with low self-esteem.

But if possible, I still don’t want to be given such a nickname by others when I was a child.

I was most bothered by the nickname "Black Skin Cream" during my primary school years. At that time, there was a boy in the class who was burned by fire in an accident when he was a child. His entire face was disfigured and covered with scars. Naturally, several boys in the class gave him a very unpleasant nickname based on his appearance.

He was often bullied. Every time I see someone bullying him, I really want to stop him. But at that time, I didn’t even have the courage to stop others from calling me nicknames. How could I have the courage to stop others from bullying him? Thinking about it now, I really hated the cowardly self I was at that time.

Perhaps because we share the same disease, I always have a feeling of sympathy for him. I don't know if he feels the same way about me, I think he does, just like I never called him by my nickname, he never called me by my nickname.

I have always hoped that I could become a teacher, and I probably will become one after graduation.

I hope that the children in the class will be healthy and happy and will not be bullied by others; I also hope that they will all be kind children and will not bully others.