Ask a few English jokes (funny, short, not too much)

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "school-go

slow".

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, a road sign says, "School-Go slow."

2)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?

"yes, mum." Tommy copied, "I have tried them all."

A box of matches

Mom asked Tommy to go to the shop across the street to buy a box of useful matches. When Tommy came back, his mother asked him, "Did you buy a good match?"

"yes, mom." Tommy replied, "I tried them all."

3)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

Driving

Father: Oops, I just made an illegal right turn.

Susie: It's all right, Dad. The policeman behind you turned like this.

4)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

student: I can't point out but I know the answer.

teacher: please tell us.

student: the sparrow is best the sparrow and the sparrow is best the sparrow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Can anyone point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

teacher: please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.

5)Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

Teacher: Think carefully, And tell me why.

Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

Half or five tenths

Teacher: Would you rather have half a citrus or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd rather have half.

teacher: think about it carefully and tell me the reason.

Gerald: Because if you cut the orange into five tenths, you will lose too much orange juice.

Heat and Cold

A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A small boy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold makes things smaller." “All right! ” Give an example. ""In summer days are long because it is hot, in winter they are short because it is cold. "

Hot and cold

There is a physics class at school.

The teacher asks," Who can talk about heat now? "A little boy raised his hand and answered," Teacher, heat can make things expand, while cold can make things shrink. "The teacher said," Good, for example. ""In summer, the days get longer because the weather is too hot; In winter, the days shorten, Because the weather is too cold. "

The doctor knows better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was broughtto the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you! "

Doctors know more

A man was knocked down by a taxi in the street and sent to the hospital. His wife stood in front of his bed and said to the doctor," I think he was badly hurt. "The doctor said," I'm afraid he is dead. "

Hearing the doctor's words, the man turned his head and said," I'm not dead, I'm still alive. "The wife said," I'm alive. "

"a lot of little holes tied together with strings."

fishing net

"Can you tell me what fishing net is made of, Ann?" The teacher asked.

"A lot of small holes are tied together with ropes to form a fishing net." The little girl replied.

4、

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

“George， how did you like your new teacher？” Asked his Mother.

"I didnt like her, mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

that two and four were six too ..."

New teacher

On September 1st, George came home from school.

"George, do you like your new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said 3 plus 3 makes 6, but later she said 2 plus 4 makes 6."

5,

a physics examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates

were thinking it hard.The question was： When it thunders why do we see the lighting first， then

hear the thunderrolls？ Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

A physics exam

In a physics exam, Nick quickly answered the first question while the students were still thinking hard.

The question is: Why do we always see the lightning first and then hear the thunder when it thunders?

Nick's answer is: Because the eyes are in front and the ears are behind.