Couples should have * * * knowledge.

People need to find a balance between freedom and love.

Freedom often means independence and separation. Love and taste.

To some extent, people are like hedgehogs in winter. They are too far away and feel cold. So we stayed together to keep warm. It's so close that we feel each other's stings.

Between people, it is to find the distance that is not near or not far. I remember when I first got married, my wife always liked to make fun of me. She suddenly gave it to me, and it still hurts.

I almost went to learn wing chun defense. This is of course a joke, but it is full of enlightenment. It shows that even intimate relationships need distance.

After having a child, my wife gradually began to revolve around the child, and her own requirements for me were less, but it did not mean that I was spared. Because children need to be taken care of at any time, I have a feeling of being urged to work 24 hours a day (excluding working 8 hours on weekdays).

It can be seen that people not only need freedom and love, but also need to control their feelings. It would be better if you could dominate others. Those who have a strong need to dominate others tend to compare themselves; Self-centered people are narcissistic; Narcissists are more likely to gain a sense of control; People who have a sense of control are masters of the world to some extent! This is a Jobs-like existence.

Generally speaking, people, as long as they are people, have their own characteristics or limitations.

Colleagues at work, partners in life and even biological parents may take actions against us out of their own selves and limitations.

And because everyone has a self. Everyone knows the world from himself consciously or unconsciously.

Moreover, because the ego is the starting point for the human body to know the world. Therefore, people inevitably have limitations.

It is said that a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a tornado on the other side of the earth. It's just an idealized description The real situation may be that a butterfly shakes its wings, causing butterflies around it to shake their wings involuntarily.

Then more butterflies flap their wings, then more other things have a chain reaction, and finally a tornado is formed far away.

This is a very complicated coincidence, not as simple as human understanding.

In particular, husband and wife should emphasize the balance between love and freedom. Too much emphasis on love is actually devouring each other, and too much emphasis on freedom will produce a strong sense of alienation.

Although it is often said that home is not a place to reason, this is only a superficial phenomenon. If everything has no rules to follow, how can the family function as a * * * body?

The communication and getting along between people is a bit like the connection between computers on the Internet. Although I don't quite understand the specific details, I'll try to describe them to you.

Anyone who has studied computers may know how computers communicate. First of all, computers have a hardware foundation, hardware technology, and software technology. For example, if a computer wants to access the Internet, it must have a transport protocol. Moreover, there is a * * * agreement between two adjacent computers.

In this way, two computers can transmit to each other, but if the hardware configuration of one computer is too low, it cannot be installed. Therefore, it is useless to upgrade the computer software. In fact, due to hardware limitations, upgrading is impossible.

This is like a couple's three views, if they are seriously inconsistent. One is high and the other is low, so in this case, communication between the two sides will become very difficult.

If the higher side gives in to the lower side, there will be such a situation: the lower side does not play cards according to common sense at all, but pulls the other side into its own world and explodes the other side completely in its own world. Because the other party lost its advanced transmission protocol, it was hung up by the low-end party and then became a "pig head".

Computers are like this, and people are even more so. The so-called scholar meets the soldier.

In this sense, simple, direct and rude communication is more efficient. Sometimes, it's just coercion and inducement.

I'm not saying that this kind of communication can go deeper into each other's hearts, but because it is a controlled communication. Or it can be directly said that it is control to prevent one party from being dragged into the other's world.

In fact, whether the low cognitive side is dragged into the world of the high cognitive side or the high cognitive side is reduced to the world of the low cognitive side. Due to the lack of the most basic understanding or agreement, the two sides did not actually communicate in the real sense.

At this time, the communication of intimidation and inducement, or the increased control of carrots, can directly hit the bottom of all * * * knowledge and agreements, directly or indirectly touching and affecting the body.

So that people can understand each other's superficial intentions from the bottom of their hearts and subconsciously.

As for the motives, mentality and ideas behind the apparent intentions, it is even more difficult to understand. So the most ideal way is to establish a relatively basic agreement between husband and wife, or * * * knowledge. For example, husband and wife, even when they are very angry, can't have domestic violence or mini-domestic violence, and can't start work.

Now that you are married, you will be the same person all your life. Then there is a sentence that should not be said, and that is divorce!

If you often say this sentence, it will inevitably affect your mentality and eventually lead to the disintegration of * * *.

It is because many people have not established this basic knowledge or agreement that the whole family is full of contradictions. What each of us needs is actually not the dry goods of "building some knowledge points for couples".

But in their own specific environment, how to build the knowledge of husband and wife, such a "wet goods". All of us, especially those in marriage, need to establish such an agreement!

I hope every couple who are still in conflict have this basic knowledge.