2019 Internet funny sentences

1. Asking what love is in the world will only make people die with eyes wide open.

2. Don’t think that if you are younger than me, you can jump around for a few more days. The coffin contains dead people, not old people!

3. Although the bird is small, it can play a lot. It's the whole sky.

4. Listening to you speak, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

5. Breaking up is boring, let’s have a divorce if we can!

6. After staying among nervous people for a long time, I found that I am normal.

7. Examination is like cooking porridge, it becomes mushy after boiling.

8. Although I can’t promise to love you until I die, I promise to love you until I die

9. In this world: If you don’t seek death, just wait to die!

10. When many people reorganize their prejudices, they think they are thinking.

11. You can’t afford to hurt Sheriff Black Cat’s child.

12. When it comes to gaining weight, if you have the ability, don’t focus on your waist, focus on your chest.

13. Once on the pirate ship, follow the thief.

14. I’m not a good person, so I won’t accept your good person card!

15. If you are a wolf, you should have good teeth; if you are a sheep, you should have good legs.

16. MLM is like rabbits only eating grass on the edge of the nest.

17. People say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact it’s all because of her makeup.

18. Women are changing, becoming more and more casual.

19. Go your own way and split with love.

20. Before I met you, I really didn’t realize that I had the problem of judging people by their appearance.

21. Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater from a close distance. There are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

22. Brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

23. Next, I will perform a family-style stunt for you, crushing your chest with a big stone.

24. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you what you want to hear.

25. One misstep and you become a famous figure throughout the ages.

26. I feel sad for your uncle.

27. A thousand-mile horse often exists, but a female thousand-mile horse does not often exist.

28. You are so shameless and heartless, you should be very light, right?

29. Good people are set off by bad people like us.

30. Brother lowered his head, not because he was afraid, but because he was looking for bricks.

31. The world is so chaotic, who can pretend to be innocent?

32. If cutting off hair means cutting off memories, then if I cut my head bald, can I lose my memory?

33. Don’t say sorry to me, because we have nothing to do with each other.

34. When I see your face, I feel that your parents were not serious when making you.

35. The road is long and long, so let’s fight it.

36. Brothers are brothers, women are clothes. Whoever touches my limbs, I will take off his clothes.

37. I left with a frown on my face, just as I came with a wink.

38. I don’t agree with your point of view, but I will defend to the death your right not to speak.

39. You have a compassionate heart and a compassionate face. 2019 Internet Classic Funny Quotes and Phrases

1: With the current weather, instant noodles can be soaked directly in tap water.

2: The cool thing about Xinwen Network is that even if you keep changing channels, you can still watch a piece of news completely.

3: If the heart does not follow love, it will be a one-night stand.

4: Women in the new era can go to the hall, climb the wall, and fight with the mistress. , I beat the gangster, but I just can’t get out of the kitchen.

5: Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you to your whole family, thank you to the eighteen generations of our ancestors.

6: Prices are in line with Europe, house prices are in line with the moon, and wages are in line with Africa.

7: What a mistress, he is just a human being at best.

8: People who like me are good people. Anyone who doesn't like me is a bad person. Anyone who hates me is not human.

9: Give me a pillow and I can sleep for a century.

10: I went swimming in the lake in the afternoon. It suddenly started raining heavily. I quickly dived into the water to take shelter.

11: I know you don’t take me seriously. In fact, I have never taken you seriously.

12: You are like a fairy descending from the Nine Heavens to earth, but unfortunately you land on your face first.

13: No matter how good the If You Are the One female guest is, she can only put out one man’s lamp, but the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can put out an entire floor.

14: Goose goose, Qu Xiang uses a knife Cut, pluck the hair, add a ladle of water, light the fire and cover the pot!

15: In the dead of night, I often ask myself whether I was right or wrong when I decided to come to Earth.

16: Who was I before you gave birth to me, and who am I after you gave birth to me?

17: If you pull me, I will kick you to the Antarctic to dance waltz with penguins. .

18: If you use the beauty trick, I will follow it.

19: When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

20: Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple IQ.

21: If you can’t reach it, try stepping on your left foot and your right foot.

22: State affairs, family affairs, and world affairs are none of my business! I am silent despite the sound of wind and rain and the sound of reading!

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23: Give you some sunshine and it will shine; give you some charcoal and it will make a bomb.

24: In the past, my love was like a dwarf, hung to death by a bush.

25: Missing you after a breakup is not called yearning, it’s called shame.

26: Just when I was about to think about the future, reality slapped me in the face!

27: Even if I am a piece of shit, I am still a thinking piece of shit!

28: I liked Teresa Teng and died; I liked Weng Meiling and committed suicide; I liked Chen Baiqiang and died of illness; I liked Wong Ka Kui and fell to death; I liked Leslie Cheung and jumped off the building; I like you, and you figure it out for yourself. !

29: I like daytime because I can daydream during the day.

30: Raw, easy. Inspirational signature work, easy. Life is not easy.

31: The elderly leftover woman: I just made a difficult decision, let’s get married!

32: No matter how much water you drink, you can’t finish your peeing and feel lonely.

33: I passed you by but you didn’t know it was me because I turned my head away.

34: The wind is good, it messed up my hair and blew your wig off.

35: I often wake up from my dreams because I had a hungry dream, a very hungry dream.

36: It was that compulsory education that occupied my youth

37: I searched for her thousands of times, but suddenly looking back, that person still dismissed me.

38: Lao Tzu said: You can sleep well, but sleep well.

39: When you have money, it is said that money is earned. When you have no money, you say money is saved.

40: You are the frog at the bottom of the well, or you haven’t even reached the bottom of the well

41: Just be happy, don’t show it, because if you show it too much, sooner or later you will be It will dry in the sun, so keep a low profile

42: Women who treat me badly, curse you to be sucked dry by Hushubao.

2019 Internet Classic Funny Quotations

1. Ouch, you are so busy and you still go to the toilet yourself!

2. Alas! It’s helpless, it’s time to turn the sheets over again!

3. I have difficulty getting out of bed!

4. I thought I was an ambitious young man, but now I realize that I am just a naive young man!

5. Become a full-time mistress After that, she lost the charm that a mistress had.

6. I fart just to give you some vent!

7. Being unappreciated is like being pregnant, it’s a waste of time!

8. Live. It's very good, don't believe it!

9. The relationship between two people is like knitting a sweater. It is established stitch by stitch, carefully and long, but when it is removed, it only needs a gentle pull!

10. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no. My mother said I could have one, but I said, I really don’t.

11. You are not far away from your days of success! Just stay in your shell for two more days!

12. If you want to marry, marry someone else first and then you can marry someone else. Give it to me, take his savings, lead his sister, and drive that BMW.

13. The heating is too hot, turn on the air conditioner to cool down!

14. Dust to dust, dust to dust, wave goodbye to Two Hundred and Five.

15. The price of graves has risen so fast, I can’t afford to die.

16. I started eating Green Arrow, and when I saw it was an American product, I thought I would be patriotic, so I started eating Yida. Looking back later These two products are produced by the same company

17. =I once had a pair of wings, but I didn’t use them to fly but to make soup.

18. I originally had the urge to finish my winter vacation homework in one go. Fortunately, I have strong self-control.

19. Tiantian [I am not a big star, I am a little princess . ]

20. The so-called holiday means being scolded at home, having no money when going out, and having a very free day.

21. I thought about the five words "especially able to endure hardship" and only did the first four.

22. [When you can’t read anymore, take out the mirror and say silently: You’ve grown up like this and you still don’t study well]

23. When I was a child, the quarrels were so simple: You are a pig. Is the pig rebounding? The rebound is ineffective!?

24. Don’t do to fish what you don’t want others to do to you

25. It doesn’t matter if you love him, he doesn’t love you, that’s the key

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26. Someone asked: Why do you still fall in love when you know you will break up? I said, why the hell do you still live when you know you will die?

27. When you wake up in the morning, your hair is a mess

28. Is secret love the stupidest thing in the world? There is nothing more silly than secret love called mutual crush

29. Why do you call me dad instead of mom? Why don’t you call me mom? How about?

30. Every time after taking an exam, I reassure myself that it’s okay and everyone is participating.

31. Doctor, I can’t sleep recently, I’m in a bad mood, I can’t eat, I’m swollen What's wrong? The doctor asked: How old are you this year? Me:

32. The world laughs at me for being too carefree, but I laugh at the world for not understanding

33. We used to be lovers and finally got married. . Now the rich people finally get married.

34. When the head teacher talks nonsense, it’s like chewing Xuanmai and can’t stop at all!

35. Uncle policeman, my bag is lost. Don't worry, I'll take care of it. Then give it back to me.

36. In the past, having a sun on QQ level made you feel twice as awesome. But now I know that the more people there are, the older you are.

37. Before the exam, I wanted to make a splash, but during the exam I found that I had better hide my strength

38. \\\\\\What follows the verb? The verb is the boundless end of the world is my love

39. I am yours, you are my Youlemei, oh, it is milk tea, so I can hold you in the palm of my hand. I can't hold you down with my palms.

40. Forget it if I usually scold you. You have to wait until I hit you to realize that I am both civil and military.

41. I found out that you have recently Also,,,,,,, stop saying fat or obese! It’s swollen

42. When I started eating Green Arrow and saw it was an American product, I thought I wanted to be patriotic, so I started eating Yida. Later I realized that these two products are Produced by a company

43. Question: What do you think about when you have insomnia? God’s reply: I want to sleep.

44. [God gave me the attributes of a foodie, but did not give me the status of a rich man]

45. I think about the word "able to endure hardship". I only achieved the previous Four,,,

46. If you don’t fall asleep in class, you will get drunk at the wine table~

47. I have always had a doubt in my heart. For years, for a whole year, What do Big Big Wolf eat to survive?

48. Love is when my dad goes shopping with my mom. My dad bought a dress for 150 yuan. My dad bought a dress for my mother for 150 yuan. One thousand and five!

49. I plan to love you for a long time and have no idea of ??giving up

50. As a piece of clothing, you don’t know how to bathe yourself, and you want me to wash it for you. , do you want to lose face in your clothes? Tell me!!!

-@ Exam God bless my whole class,,

51. Reason for breaking up; Gender incompatibility

52. Can you cook? Yes. What a coincidence! I know how to eat!

53. I know I will forget later on

54. According to statistics, the average age of first kiss in the world is, years, and the average age of first kiss is, years. , I'm sorry, I've held the world back,

55. After the exam, the song by Trouble Maker really came true: There is no tomorrow.

56. The biggest mistake of the school is to let a group of menopausal men control our group of adolescents@

57. How can you be willing to be friends if you like someone?

58. Being gated Can stuffed walnuts still nourish the brain?

59. Back in the dormitory, my roommate ate instant noodles in a hurry while looking at his watch. I asked him why he was eating in such a hurry? He said: TMD, I almost passed it

60. I hope to catch the finale of Xinwen Network in my lifetime

62. Jie Ge just After singing, someone in the audience shouted ~ Xie Na

63. Someone told me that there is nothing more complicated than love in the world. I threw a math book on his face.

64. Eating is what I want, and losing weight is what I want. I can’t have both, so I’m done with it.

67. I raise a black cat, and you raise a white cat, and then let them give birth to pandas, do you think it’s okay?

68. Some people rely on their strength in exams, and some people The exam depends on eyesight, but I rely on imagination to take the exam!

69. I am about to have the most adorable relationship with the top students and my grades are poor. Thinking about it, I feel a little shy. . .

70. In fact, I think the name of the summer homework called Happy Summer Vacation is the same as the cigarette box saying that smoking is harmful to health.

71. If there were no such creatures as teachers, I would I think I will fall in love with school

72. Some classes are like Nanfu Battery, one class is longer than six classes

73. I am a psychopath. In the world of normal people Been lurking for years.

74. When I went to bed at noon, I set the automatic reply to "then", and my classmates chatted with it all afternoon.

75. Why do you like playing Temple Escape so much? Because I like people I am chasing you, but those who are chasing you are animals

76. You can use a ten-meter iron ruler to measure your face. It’s not long enough!

77. I heard that the teacher has to hold a parent-teacher meeting, announce the results, and give out certificates

78. I weigh myself now and even want to pluck out my eyebrows.

79. A woman’s mood: 30% of it is determined by nature and 70% of it depends on shopping.

80. Do you want to eat strawberries? Yes! Wash it yourself. Where are the people who don’t eat it to this extent? 2019 Internet Popular Quotes

1. Young people don’t know that sperm is expensive. It makes me cry when I see you.

2. If your love rival fell into the water and you knew how to swim, what would you do? Swim around next to her

3. As for the overachievers, I just want to know: What happened in your junior high school to make you fall into the same school as me

4. Hold on to me, hug me tight, okay? I am the only one who understands you

5. Some people test by strength, some people test by eyesight, but I test by imagination!

6. Doesn’t the whole world know that I like you?

7. Teacher, you and your family are assigned so much homework during the winter vacation.

8. [The computer is so stuck that I’m going crazy]

9. Finally I hate getting warm and want to go to the toilet again!

10. I told my best friend that we are rich and rich, let’s be friends. My best friend rolled her eyes and said to me that we are just like local tyrants, let’s be friends as long as we can.

11. Women are books and men are pigs. Never expect pigs to understand books.

12. I feel like you are like two pigs, because one pig can no longer describe your stupidity

13. The most traditional way of snowball fights in the Northeast is to go over alone and knock you down with one click. One person, and then a bunch of people appear and bury this person.

14. In fact, life is like your uneven face, full of flaws.

15. Is the RMB depreciating too fast, or is the price appreciation too fast?

16. Don’t open your mouth so wide when you speak, I can see stool when I look down my throat. !

17. How come the pie doesn’t fall from the sky? I want to starve to death!

18. Not only do I have good luck, I also have good athlete’s foot!

19. My mind is too small to accommodate so many useless people!

20. I am willing to hold your hand, from wife to old woman!

21. Little girls I always dream of finding a white horse, but when I open my eyes, I see that the world is full of gray donkeys, so I can only choose one strong one from the donkeys, and this donkey is the "Economic Man".

22. It’s not easy to take a day off. When you wake up, you find it’s time to sleep again!

23. If you have something sad, cry it out and let everyone laugh!

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24. Some people are simply four, nothing but two.

25. No matter how nice your online name is, it will eventually lose to the comments!

26. If you mess with me again, I will spit your shit out!

27 , I always wanted to go to college and have a girlfriend, but it was terrible to go to college. There were only two girls in our class, and what was even worse was that those two girls were so good!