Putonghua jokes (primary school edition)

A couple snuggled up sweetly in the park. Men can't help sneaking around when they see that women's hair is so supple. The woman said coily, "Alas! Hate! " [advertisement]

The man's heart itched even more and stole it again. The woman said, "Well, no!" " "

Hearing this, the man's heart was about to fly, and he touched it again. Suddenly, the woman stood up and said rudely, "don't touch it!" My wig is falling off! ! ! "

Classic joke: power failure

A newly married couple went to an island for their honeymoon. When they checked in, the boss said to them, "There is something wrong with the electricity on this island. It is estimated that the electricity will be stopped once an hour! " So the young couple decided to have sex every time the power went out. Three hours later, the husband sneaked downstairs and said to the boss, "Boss, I'll give you 50 yuan more. Can you stop the electricity every two hours? " The boss replied, "Why didn't you say that your wife overpaid 100 yuan and told me to stop the electricity every half hour!" "

Classic joke: pig's joke

A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

Classic joke: beautiful stewardess

Once upon a time, a mouse wanted to find a wife, but he could never find one. Finally, one day, he happily said to his friend, "I have a wife." Ha ha! "The friend said," Why don't you bring your sister-in-law to show us? "He said," OK, tomorrow. " So the next day he came with his wife. After everyone finished watching it (crazy! ! What a bat!

"Ha ha! You don't understand. My wife Hao Lai is also a flight attendant! "

Pour again! ! ! !

Classic joke: the most malicious quarrel

On the bus that day, a beautiful girl suddenly shouted at a gentle white boy: "rogue!" " "It seems that this young man is dishonest. The young man was very wronged and immediately refuted. The two sides began to quarrel.

Later, I heard the girl scold: "You are a big hooligan, and you have been a hooligan since you were a child. Your mother just gave birth to you, so don't forget to look back. " After listening to it, the passengers were silent for a while, and then burst into laughter.

Colleagues shook their heads and said that swearing can be so ugly for the first time. This is really a curse, and no one can beat him. After the boy was scolded, his mouth was open and he couldn't say a word.

After listening to this, we all lamented that this curse is really an eternal curse, probably unprecedented, and it is said that there is really no malicious swearing to fight back.

At this moment, I suddenly heard the man say loudly, "You are the big rascal! You are still in your mother's belly, just go and see your father three times a day! "

Hearing this, everyone fainted.

Classic joke: surprise

A lady had a whim and wanted to surprise her husband. So I put on a wig, a brand-new suit and a different makeup in peacetime. Then he went to Mr. Wang's office and said coquetry, "Hi! Handsome boy, do you want to come with me ... "Her husband looked at her and immediately interrupted her and said," No! I want nothing. As soon as I see you, I think of my wife. "

When Professor A came home from the research room, he saw a big bunch of flowers on the table. He asked his wife, "What day is it today?"

"ah? Have you forgotten? Today is your wedding anniversary. "

Hearing this, he smiled: "I see, thank you!" " On your wedding day, I also bought a big bunch of flowers to congratulate you. "

Anna sent her son to summer camp and told him not to forget to write home. The son nodded, but looked absent-minded.

An enthusiastic person said to Anna, "I'll give you a good idea: write to your child first and tell him that you sent him money, so that he can have fun."

"So he will write?"

"Sure, but don't really send him money."

She: "I am your wife, because no one else sympathizes with you."

He: "You finally succeeded. Now everyone sympathizes with me. "

The husband comes home from work and the wife prepares dinner.

"Honey, you can choose the dishes tonight." The wife said.

"What dishes do you have?"

"asparagus." The wife replied.

"What are the options?"

"Do you eat or not?"