Requesting two paragraphs of self-introduction in a joke

My friends who work at a driving school told me with regret that since they added "When there is a couple passing in front of the car, you should speed up" in their theory test exercises, there has been an influx of candidates who chose "right". On and on...

I was waiting for the bus at work today. I paid to get on the bus and sat waiting for it to depart. Suddenly I saw that I was on the wrong bus. I got off quickly. The driver asked me what I was doing. I didn't have the nerve to say that I got on the wrong bus, so I calmly replied: Pay one dollar to get on the bus and rest for a while. . .

There is a magical thing in chemistry. It is insoluble in acid, alkali, salt and organic matter. It is invulnerable to water and fire, and is invulnerable to all poisons. Whether it is heated on a blowtorch or connected to high-voltage electricity, it remains unscathed. It has the most stable and excellent chemical properties, but it is always abandoned. Its name is: impurity...

She had foolishly saved his number as her boyfriend in her mobile phone very early on, thinking that she would never be seen after she died. One day at the class party, he happened to be sitting next to her and couldn't find his cell phone. He asked her to borrow his phone to make a call. She quickly said she didn't have his number, but he had already snatched the cell phone away. He started dialing and watched the popup pop up on the screen. With these three words, she blushed so much that she wanted to die. He was slightly startled for a second, then found his cell phone from his bag, picked it up and said: Hey, why did you call me?

Miss, your hair quality is very poor, how about..." "Hey, how long have you been doing this? ""ah? I? I've been working for five years." "Oh. "(Silence) "Miss, would you like to have a party..." "Hey, do you live nearby? ""ah? Yes, yes” “Oh. "(Silence) "Miss..." "Married? ""ah? "Not yet." "Aren't your family members anxious?" "Uh, cough..." (I finished cutting my hair in silence)

Whoever asks me again, "Why are Northeastern people still afraid of the cold?" I will chop him up!

You really call me Speechless...I remember this passage carefully. Our northeast windows are double-layered, the balcony can be closed, the heating is by floor heat, the temperature at home is above 25 degrees, and the down jackets are thickened,

The food should be eaten while it is hot, and the heating is provided in October. Northeasterners are not polar bears. Why do you think we are afraid of the cold!!! We are well-equipped! It is not that we have high attributes!!!

There is a kind of woman who is independent and simple. I got up early on weekends and hung the quilt out the window. The smell of sunshine filled the air, and the corners of my mouth turned up slightly. I washed my hair, blow-dried my hair until it was three-quarters dry, put on light makeup, looked in the full-length mirror, struck some sultry poses, and gave myself a confident smile. Radio, old records, spend a pleasant day. I went out on the street in the evening, put my pockets in my pockets, and took a few steps. From the distance, the carnival crowd found an old man who was destined to dance in the square.

There is also a kind of woman who is independent and simple. I got up early on weekends and hung the quilt out the window. The smell of sunshine filled the air, and the corners of my mouth turned up slightly. I washed myself, blow-dried my hair until it was three cents dry, put on light makeup, looked in the full-length mirror, struck a few sultry poses, and gave myself a confident smile. Radio, old records, spend a pleasant day. Go out on the street in the evening, put your pockets in your pockets, take a few steps, and find a real old man from the carnival crowd in the distance, dancing in the square

Don't just see "Where Are We Going, Dad" playing on TV? It's very popular. In fact, you have also been directing and acting in your own life. For example, you starred in "Where Are the Matches?", "Where Are the Good Figures?", "Where Are the Living Costs?", etc... They are simply tear-jerking masterpieces.

Yes, I am the kind of boyfriend who cares about face! Do you think that if you have a quarrel and slam the door, I will chase you, lower your head and admit your mistake? I won't! You go ahead, go ahead! I won’t chase you! Such a man! I will kneel here today. If you don’t come back, I can’t afford to live or die.