My girlfriend is a kindergarten teacher, and I’m looking for some kindergarten-related SMS jokes to make her laugh! !

Little Lida applied for a certain aristocratic kindergarten. During the interview, the teacher took out a 10-yuan note and asked: "What is this?"

Little Lida: "It's the waste that my mother gave to the beggar." Paper."

"Okay," the teacher said, "You are admitted."

Toby's father bought Toby a small football and he took it to school. , having a great time.

The teacher came over, touched Toby's head and said: "Toby, you are already a primary school student, no longer a child in the kindergarten. You must know how to care about your classmates. Lend your ball to that Poor little boy without a father, okay?"

Toby hesitated for a moment and said, "Can I lend him his father instead of lending him the football?"

Teacher: "Pod, do you know how many years a mouse can live?"

Peter: "This question is too simple. It depends on the old cat's thoughts."

Little Les's mother watched little Les playing for a long time, then coaxed him to practice piano and said to him: "My dear, go to the piano room and practice piano! After practice, I will buy you chocolates for 1 pound." "

Little Les pouted and said: "But the neighbors next door said that if I don't practice piano, they will give me 2 pounds."

The coach of the shooting team is here. A series of gunshot holes were found in the street wall, each with a small chalk circle. He thought to himself that this must be a sharpshooter, and he should be found no matter what.

After investigation, he discovered that the shooter was actually a seven-year-old child.

"Kid," the coach asked with great admiration, "where did you learn your shooting skills?"

"It's nothing," the kid said nonchalantly, "very good." It’s simple, I shoot at the wall first, and then draw a circle with chalk around the bullet hole.”

A junior high school student was expelled from school, and a female classmate chased him to his home, in front of his mother. He said in front of him: "What should I do if you leave?"

His mother asked him: "You are still so young, what does it matter!'

He said: " We have nothing to do with each other, it's a pure relationship between a man and a woman. ”

The female classmate said: “How can it be okay!” If you leave, won't I be the last in the class?"

My brother carried the fishing pole and whistled, and came to the river to fish. But his luck was terrible, and he fished for a long time. , not a single fish was caught.

My sister ran over and asked, "Brother, how many fish did you catch?" "

My brother said seriously: "If you catch this one and catch two more, you will have three in one ***. "

One day Xiaoxin asked his father: "Dad, what is the difference between being angry, crazy, and laughing and crying?

Dad said: "I will do an experiment to show you, it will be easy." Got it."

So he opened the phone book, randomly found a phone number named Lin, and dialed the number. The call was connected, and Dad pressed the speaker button to let Xiaoxin hear clearly--- -

Dad: "Is Stallone here?"

The other party: "You made the wrong call!"

Dad: "Come on, Stallone." Is Tron here?"

The other party: "I told you that you dialed the wrong number!" Then he hung up the phone.

After that, Dad immediately called again ---

Dad: "Is Stallone here?"

The other party: "Who is it! You Wrong call."

Dad: "Is Stallone here?"

The other party: "Damn, you're crazy." He hung up the phone again.

Dad immediately called again----

Dad: "Is Stallone here?"

The other party: "Who are you?" Stop being boring!"

Dad: "I'm Bruce Willi, and I'm looking for Sylvester Stallone----"

The other party: "Idiot, I want to return Arnold history Wassinger! Go and die!"

After saying that, he put the phone away.

Dad told Xiaoxin: "This is anger.

Next, let me show you what anger is!"

Dad made another call----

Dad: "Is Stallone here?"

The other party: "You owe Bian, don't you? I want Stallone to call me to the United States! Damn, if you dare to call me again, give me a try---" After saying that, he hit me harder. Telephone.

Dad told Xiaoxin: "This is anger. Next, let me show you what it means to be crazy!"

Then, dad made another call. It took a while for someone to answer the call, and as soon as the call was connected

The other party said: "Fuck! Go to your mother----" while he was yelling and swearing

Dad: "Excuse me, Is it Lin Mansion?"

Other: "Oh, I'm so sorry! Because someone just played a prank, I didn't mean to scold you----"

Dad: "It's okay , is Stallone here?"

The other party: "Wow! Your mother is stuck----" This time, before he could finish scolding, his father hung up the phone.

"This is crazy" Dad told Xiaoxin: "Do you understand?"

"Yes!" Xiaoxin nodded: "But - what is dumbfounding?"

Dad smiled and called the same number again. The other party quickly picked up the phone

The other party said: "Hey! Are you trying to cause trouble on purpose----

Dad: "I'm Stallone, did you call me just now..."

In the quiet marking field, a teacher suddenly picked up a The paper said to everyone, "Everyone, please relax and try some brain teasers." This paper said, "My son is the one who asked the questions, and my grandson is the invigilator." "Please guess who will be corrected later?

Everyone was interested. Some said it was a great-grandson, some said it was a fool, and the answers were varied.

Finally announced The answer: "Grandpa who corrects papers, please be merciful! ! ”

Tingting’s mother works in the hospital’s nursery. Grandma told Tingting: “The nursery is where babies are born.” "One day, her mother took Tingting to work, and Tingting ran to the nursery. Seeing the fussy and sleeping babies, she couldn't help but look at her mother and asked, "Mom, which one did you give birth to today?" ”

Teacher: “Have you shown the report card to your parents?” ”

Student: “Yes. "

Teacher: "Then why didn't the parents stamp it? "

The student rolled up his sleeves, revealing his scarred arms: "It's all covered here! ”

Son: “Dad, what do soldiers with several gold stars on their collar badges do?” "

Dad: "That's the commander of the army. ”

Son: “So, God is the commander-in-chief of the armies of all the countries in the world, because there are so many stars in Him that we can’t count them!” ”

In the morning, an old woman led her little grandson into the internal medicine clinic. The grandson was about seven or eight years old and was chewing a KFC with gusto

The packaged big hamburger is very chubby and cute.

The doctor asked: "Are you going to have the infusion here or take it home?" ”

The old man replied: “Take it away.” ”

The doctor asked again: “Should we just take the medicine or the liquid together?” "

The old man replied: "Bring them all. "

Just as the doctor was about to write a prescription, the little grandson standing aside spoke: "Grandma, did you and the doctor's aunt order another 'take-out family meal'?

Lao Wang went fishing but came back empty-handed. His son applauded him happily. Lao Wang threw the fishing rod to the ground and cursed: "Little brat, how dare you make fun of me for not catching a fish?" His son pointed to the earthworms on the hook and said, "I'm happy for you. I think fishing for earthworms is better than fishing." Even more difficult. ”