Ancient poems, jokes, two-part allegorical sayings, couplets (urgent, today! ! ! )

1, two apes are cutting firewood in the deep mountain, and the little monkey dares to saw (sentence)

How does the old beast solve the problem (hoof)-when the horse is stuck in the mud?

2, because of the lotus root, (why)

Apricots don't need plums (fortunately, they don't need media)

3. Dogs gnawing at bones by the river (monks)-Su Shi

Poems on Dongpo of Flowing Water (corpse)-Fo Yin

4. Master Gu Shang (monk)

Embroidered in front of the beauty hall (scholar)

Confucius was born in Zhou (Zhou).

Light dance (martial arts) began in Hanzhong (light dance: lightning; Hanzhong: the sky)

6, lantern cage lights, paper (orange) shell was originally only windproof.

Drum drum, tangerine peel can't knock half (summer)

7. Lotus (pity) has a bitter heart.

Pear-shaped (separated) intra-abdominal acid in children

8, light a candle at the bottom of the well, * * * Lang Changxing Mo Weiqi. (Candle-tell, go-violate) Wen Tingyun

9. The willows in Jiang Shuiping are green, and I can hear the songs on the Langjiang River.

Rain in the east, sunrise in the east, said it was not sunny, but it was still sunny. (Qing Qing) Zhu Yuxi

Second, jokes

1, related to place names

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon."

2. The headmaster is angry

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said, "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Not an official! "

Step 3 meet in the country

At a meeting in the village, the village chief said, "Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk. The meeting is over now. The host said: "Sausage paste melon for pickles." (Now, the head of the township will speak. The township head said, "Rabbit, shrimp, today's meal.

Third, couplets.

1, lotus (lotus) seed bitter pear (pear) seed abdominal acid.

2. Living in a pagoda, watching Kong Ming (Zhuge Liang), but resenting Jiang Wei (Jiang Wei), I find it difficult to travel (Lu Bu).

3, the bird is in the cage, the heart is in the nest (Cao Cao), hate Guan Yu (Guan Yu) instead of Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei)

4, two boats racing, rowing speed (Lu Su) is not as fast as sailing (mountain climbing).

5. A hundred schools of thought contend. Di Qing (Di Qing) is more difficult than Xiao He (Xiao He).

6. According to legend, there was a child prodigy who was recruited as a son-in-law only when the Prime Minister loved him. When the prime minister gave a banquet to entertain the guests, he invited his son-in-law to say: Lotus root is obtained because of lotus. Daughter-in-law put the fruit on the finger seat and replied: There are apricots but no plums. Here, because of the use of homophones (lotus-lotus, lotus-couple, apricot-auspicious, plum-media), Miao Yan was deeply impressed, and the guests suddenly realized that it was wonderful again and again.

7. Confucius was born in Zhou (Zhou), and martial arts began in Hanzhong.

8. The history of the pen is lingering, although it is not famous; Hong En is powerful, don't try to serve the country and become an enemy! (Shi Kefa, Hong Chengchou. )

9. Mud, fat, rice or thin (fat and thin)

"Sound Ghost" has short night difference and long time (ghost's hag is short)

The first couplet means: the soil is fertile, but the seedlings are still thin.

The bottom line is that the time of the sun in the sky is getting shorter and shorter (short is a natural phenomenon from summer to the future), and the time difference between day and night is getting longer and longer.

10, the boy hit the tung tree, and the tung tree fell down, and the boy was happy;

Children pick pomelo, pomelo finished, children play.

1 1, eyeballs, nostrils and beads (Zhu) are still alive on Confucius;

Mr. Mei, you must be in the afterlife. The afterlife is longer than Mr. Mei.

Four, two-part allegorical sayings

Mother's Sisters-Suspicious (menstruation)

The crib on the stage-No (Bucheng)

The whip on the stage-overweight (fake horse)

Fire in Kannonji-Miao (Temple Disaster)

Monkey Sun sits in the golden hall-unlike Ren (a man).

Junshouxing Shooting-Same tune (gun)

The birthday girl plays the pipa-a cliche (playing)

Wheat straw fire-blowing economizer

Horse racing in the alley-topic (hoof)

The charm of drought worships hag-the best (essence)

Damn bamboo shoots outside the garden-nephew (student)

Men don't beat their wives-it's a blessing (husband and wife)

A scholar writes poetry-he has two hands (the first one).

Bald man takes off his hat-the first name (Ming)

It's just right for a girl from He's family to give it to Zheng Jiazheng (Zheng Heshi)

Abdominal rowing-expert (navigation)

Measuring Rice with a Turtle Cover —— What Sound (L)

It's sad to pull the beard-modesty (pulling the beard) is excessive (crossing the river)

Ring the bell and pull it into the air-fantasy (ring)

Catch bees and eat honey-Tian (sweet) is shameless (stinging)

200 yuan peanuts-you have to refute (peel)

Peach in both hands-reasonable (gift)

Buy camels at Huguo Temple-There is no such thing (city)

Zanthoxylum bungeanum is caught in the rice crisis (rice)

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2011-1-7 21:54 enthusiastic users.

jngbnjm，ko，. l； l/

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2011-1-7 Happy Season 6 | Level 1 at 22: 05

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!"

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you."

One kind of shooting, the other kind of bombing. Let me show you. )