Invincible thunder funny copy

1. "I have your wife. I want her to put the money into a bank account! " ""Are you new here? I wonder if men don't care about money? "

I took my 2-year-old son to eat stinky tofu for the first time today. The son took a bite: "Mom, who pulled this?" It's delicious! " The husband listened and said, "Take good care of him these days and stop taking a shit!" " "

I heard that girls like humorous boys, so I got into the habit of watching jokes every day. A year has passed, and my humor has not changed, but has become a wretched uncle.

You are really a beauty. In other words, you are beautiful only in the tunnel, because there are no lights in the tunnel.

Water has been cut off for several days, and everyone can only use bottled water for everything. A female colleague thought bottled water was expensive and useless, and said, "I just opened a bucket to wash my face, and there was only half a bucket left!" " Another colleague said, "water is still very useful, but your face is big!" " "

6. Yesterday, a couple asked me how to get to the hotel. I did not hesitate to show them the way to Xinhua Bookstore, hoping that they could find themselves lost in the sea of knowledge!

7. I want to buy a car recently. My father took me to all the luxury car 4S stores in the city. I am very touched. Well, it is better to be a family. After leaving the store, my dad turned to me and said, "Look, these cars are not allowed to hit in the future!" "

Eight. "I just had my hair cut.

20. Do you want 100 to cut dog hair? ""it dares to eat shit, do you dare? " "What if I dare?" "After your haircut is 100. "

Nine. Those who are good-looking and can eat are called foodies, while those who are not good-looking and can eat are called fools.

I went to buy a cup of milk tea today. The clerk asked me how sweet I wanted. I said it was as sweet as me. The clerk said yes and gave me a glass of lemonade.

I have a beautiful colleague who often complains to me about her small breasts. One day, the beauty began to complain again: "Alas, my mother has small breasts, so follow my mother!" " "I said," it's good to follow your mother, and your father is younger! " "

12. Mathematics is very interesting. How interesting is it? Since I learned math, I feel that even living is meaningless.

Thirteen. "Husband, I feel so fat and want to lose weight." "Never lose weight. Now you have to use ugliness and fatness as an excuse. "

Teacher: "Why do you always fail in the next class?" Xiaoming: "Because you didn't teach the class next door!" " "Teacher:" Get out. "

Fifteen. The company's new cleaning aunt is particularly enthusiastic and works fast. After the meeting in the conference room, she put away the mineral water that the leader had drunk and put it in other bottles if she was dissatisfied. I asked, "Auntie, what are you doing?" Aunt: "It's a waste not to drink this bottle of water. I will fill it up and give it to them at the next meeting! " "

Sixteen years old. Now the man, what qualifications and elder sister say grow old together? I'm bald before my gray hair grows.

I asked my girlfriend before, "How many boyfriends did you find before?" Ex-girlfriend: "Never mind how many boyfriends I found, I swear you are my last boyfriend." I am very happy after listening to it, and my heart is warm. Only three months later, she became someone else's bride. She really didn't lie to me. I'm just her last boyfriend.

Eighteen. Who is the most patriotic among several classmates? A said, "I never buy foreign goods." B said, "I never watch foreign movies." C looked up at the sky and said loudly, "I have never failed an English exam."

19. Do you like to sit opposite or next to your boyfriend when eating? I prefer them sitting around me.

20. If you want to catch a person's heart, you must first catch a person's stomach. Feed your partner fat, and no one will want to rob you.

2 1. Fight me, and I will kneel on the ground in less than five seconds, and the person who pinched me begged me not to die.

22. Every time my home is particularly messy, I will quarrel with my wife. Especially bad quarrel, she will get angry, and then she will pack up and prepare to go back to her parents' house. At this time, I knelt down and left her, and my home became much cleaner.

Twenty-three I saw an old woman lying on the ground today. I don't know if I should help her. I just want to go up and help her The old lady said, "Get out of here, poor child, and don't disturb my business."

Twenty-four After the haircut, the barber asked me how I was doing. I was silent for a while and said to him, I am happy if you are happy.