How stupid is the stupid thief you have seen?

When I was a child, there was an old man in my hometown. My daughter married in Nantong and my wife left early. He lives alone! The old man's daughter and son-in-law are very filial, often come to see him, with big bags and small bags, and often give him money! Let him move in with them, he can't adapt, and he will come back in a few days! Why? He has an old photo frame at home and often goes to the ballroom to dance or something. Very chic! If it were today's children, they would expect the old man and the old lady to have a companion, but that was more than 90 years ago. At that time, if old people and old ladies were together, everyone would laugh!

What about the old man? He is rich and fat for nothing! But one thing is bad, love takes advantage of petty gain. Dare not take big things, steal a melon and touch a pear, catch a chicken and catch a duck and so on! Everyone in the village knows about it, and the police station has been to it several times! However, this petty police station will be released at most after education, and detention is not enough!

Once a family in the village next door was stolen, and not many were stolen. There are more than 200 yuan and a radio under the pillow! What a coincidence! The stolen family is the old man next door! Then the old man strolled in the village that day. When the medical insurance director saw him, he jokingly said, "Old Huang Tou, do you dare not come out?"? The police station looked for you several times, but no one was found. It is estimated that I will come to your house to catch you! " The old man asked him what he was looking for, and the security director said, did you go to * * *' s house the day the neighboring village was stolen? Someone saw you! Why don't you go out and hide? Just hide for a while!

Hearing this, the old man got a fright and went home to pack up and hide in his daughter's house! After hiding for more than two months, the old man felt all right and came back to have a look! Just back to the village, I met the director of medical insurance. He asked: Director, is the police station still looking for me? The safety director has completely forgotten! Just say: What do you want? The old man was anxious and said what was going on in the next village! When the security director patted his forehead, he remembered and told him that the thief had been caught. He's a little bastard! The security director asked him if you didn't steal it. What are you afraid of? Why are you hiding? He was embarrassed to say that he went to the village next door that day and came back from dinner at night to touch two chickens at a roadside house! If the police station comes, we will shake it out again! I was scared, so I went out to hide for a few days!

Once I was driving out, and on the way, the phone rang. It may sound strange. It's a man. I asked what was going on, and the other party said to borrow 200 yuan from me, just transfer it to him through WeChat and return it to me in a few days. I thought it was a friend of a friend, or someone I met these days. Maybe they knew each other very well at that time, but I can't remember who it was. I'm afraid asking directly will hurt my feelings. I said come at six o'clock in the evening and I'll lend it to you. At six o'clock in the evening, two groups of people came, all of whom I knew, said a few words and left. I want to guess who is joking with me. After a while, a young man may not be 20 years old. Come and tell me to lend me 200 yuan. I was standing there because I had never seen this man. It was two or three seconds before I asked him who you were. His answer puzzled me again. He said that he borrowed money from me in 200 yuan. I then asked him, I don't know you, how did you borrow 200 yuan from me? He answered again, which puzzled me again. He said you promised to lend it to me. After a while, I recovered from my trance. I asked him, do you know who I am? You ask me for money, and I don't know you. If you run away, who will I ask for money? His answer shocked me again. He said you run a computer shop. I was right. My shop is here. Everyone knows that I run a computer shop. When you come to my computer shop, does anyone still think I'm a restaurant? This time, I recovered a little. Then I asked him, do you know my last name? He didn't answer. I asked him again, what do you do? Where do you live? How can you pay me back? He said he lived nearby. I said there are so many people living nearby. What's the big place nearby? I said, what the hell are you thinking? Why do you want to borrow money from me? Who told you to borrow money from me? He said that his boss asked him to borrow it. I said, who is your boss? Why should I borrow it from you? Do I know him? Or does he know me? He didn't answer, so I asked him what you do. He replied that he was the boss's temporary worker. I said, who is your boss? He stood there for three or four seconds. Then he turned and walked away, muttering that he didn't keep his word and said whether to borrow it or not ... maybe he couldn't hear you clearly. I think this little thief is probably a stupid thief.

I heard of a really stupid thief a generation ago.

Thieves in the countryside steal everything as long as they move.

It is said that the thief went into a house to steal, smelled a burning smell, and then went into the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat. Just after he went in, he looked around and the light came on. The thief was quick-sighted and hid under the laundry list. Fortunately, the switch of his light was not in the kitchen, and he escaped.

The thief squatting in the laundry basket was so sleepy that he heard a woman scolding him. I knew you were the most diligent in stealing vegetables and didn't do any housework. If I don't come back, the pot won't cook! The man was so angry that two men scolded him. The woman slapped the man in the face, and the man gave the woman a push, and then took a few steps inside. In a rage, the woman picked up the laundry basket and covered it with a kick on his waist.

The thief suddenly looked up. At this moment, he ran to the table, picked up something and ran out. Run all the way to safety and see what you stole.

When I saw what was in my hand, I stared and looked around, almost bleeding. I didn't know what it was like for that woman to say that she didn't do some housework, and how long it had been since she finished washing the pot.

Thieves are "stolen";

Hunger and cold make a thief. Even if a thief enters your house, he has nothing to steal. Because everyone is broke.

Uncle Huang at the east end of the steamed stuffed bun hasn't tasted delicious food for a long time, so he used wild vegetables to satisfy his hunger. I couldn't bear it anymore. He passed on his favorite things from generation to generation and took a copper hookah to the pawnshop as two dollars. I just bought half a bucket of yellow rice (millet).

Don't you think it's strange that thieves don't care if they have food at home? They only change some yellow rice at noon and recruit thieves at night.

Uncle Huang slept in a daze in the middle of the night When he heard a slight vibration in the room, he thought, "There must be a thief in the house. Anyway, there is nothing to steal at home? " He did not answer the "uninvited guest" in the room. Suddenly he wants to buy yellow rice at noon? It's okay. It's in a rice jar, which is too small to sneak in.

The thief fumbled around the room several times, but there was nothing to steal. When the thief was at a loss, he touched the rice jar.

Are thieves happy or sad? Touch the rice jar when you are happy. There is rice in the jar. What you are worried about is that the rice jar is too heavy to steal. Thinking "Use the robe you are wearing", the thief spread the robe on the ground and turned to move the rice jar.

Uncle Huang is not idle at this time. He secretly pulled the thief's robe on the ground to his bed and fell asleep. He didn't know much about thieves, so he asked Uncle Huang to "steal" the thieves first.

The thief tried his best to lift the rice jar and pour it on the robe, and then put it down slowly for fear of waking Uncle Huang. Then his cat bent down to pick up the robe he was lying on the ground and touched it back and forth several times, but I couldn't touch the last shadow of the robe? The thief broke out in a cold sweat and stood up and scratched his head. He couldn't help whispering, "Did a thief steal my robe?" The thief said that the thief was stolen?

This is: "stealing rice is unsuccessful, losing a robe"! Uncle Huang turned over and coughed.

The thief escaped.

Real experience, when I was in primary school, a girl in my class didn't like cleanliness at ordinary times, stealing erasers and touching pencils. One day, after lunch break at noon, I was going to have my first class in the afternoon. All the students arrived, but the girl didn't appear in her seat. The teacher waited for a long time and was very anxious. There was no telephone at that time, and she couldn't contact her parents. She is going to her home to find her (her home is not far from school, so she will go home for dinner at noon). At this time, her neighbor carried her into the classroom. The teacher asked what was going on, and the neighbor said that she woke up at noon and found her hanging on her apricot tree. Her parents went to the distance to weed and didn't come home at noon. The neighbors had no choice but to take her to school and let the teacher educate her. Angry and funny, the teacher advised the neighbor to leave, lectured her again, and then dismissed the class. After the teacher left, she took some apricots out of her pocket and gave them to us. That apricot is not delicious, it is sour. Later, we laughed at her for more than ten years, and now she has become a great beauty, but she still blushes when she mentions this.

I used to work in a detention center and met a stupid thief who could make people laugh.

We are a poor county. Before 2005, the county detention center was relatively simple, separated from the Chengguan police station by a wall, and the walls of the police station and detention center were common. Standing on the second floor of the police station, you can see the detention center compound, and there is no barbed wire installed on the wall of the detention center.

In the winter of 2003, the Chengguan police station caught a bicycle thief. This is a recidivist. There was a labor camp at that time. I don't think he can get rid of it. This guy knows the police very well, and he looks cold with a cheeky smile. He was also held in the holding cell of the police station. It's getting dark, the police station has almost finished the formalities, and he will be sent to the detention center soon.

At this time, this guy called him a stomachache and wanted to relieve his hand. Have an auxiliary police take him to the bathroom on the second floor. Handcuffs were also taken away for his convenience. When I arrived at the toilet, the auxiliary police was also a young man who had just arrived. Because of the smell, I stood outside the door. The thief saw the window of the toilet open and it was dark inside. He only saw a wall, behind which was a yard, as if no one had any intention of running away. The auxiliary police didn't pay attention, jumped into the window in a few steps, jumped into the wall at once, and then jumped into the courtyard wall.

At this time, the thief jumped over and threw a dog to eat shit. He looked up and found a row of iron gates in front of him in the dim light. He took a closer look, and it turned out to be in the detention center compound, and suddenly he was blindsided. This time, the auxiliary police shouted at the window, which also alarmed the discipline of the detention center and quickly brought him down. It was sent back to the Chengguan police station, and the police gave it a good beating. After dinner, he was sent to the detention center after a while. The discipline saw that his mouth was crooked and he was beaten before he went to prison. The hapless thief was finally imprisoned for three years. It is said that the police station also cleaned him up, and when he reported to the reeducation-through-labor Committee, he was given a maximum of three years of reeducation through labor.

Every time we talk about this man, we laugh.

How stupid is the stupid thief you have seen?

How stupid is the stupid thief I have ever seen? Speaking of it, this is a somewhat sad story.

When I was in middle school, the local supply and marketing cooperatives and five or six houses were all burned down. Along with cigarettes, wine, sugar, tea, daily necessities, etc., they were all burned out.

Do you know why? I tell you, it was burned by a thief who stole things!

One night, two young people agreed to steal some cigarettes, wine and candy from the supply and marketing cooperative. Then one of them uncovered the tile membrane on the roof of the tile-roofed house, tied the rope around his waist, and went down to the house, while the other one kept watch on the roof.

In this way, after a period of time, the lookout outside worried about being discovered by the supply and marketing cooperatives and constantly urged the people who stole things in the house. But maybe he was attracted by the dazzling array of goods, or he wanted to take as many things as possible. In short, he refused to come out until he was really found. ...

People outside have no choice but to throw down the rope and run away alone. The people inside think of it again, and there is no way out. He took the stupidest method, lit a fire and burned himself to death. ...

Because there were too many flammable items in it, people didn't rescue them in time. Therefore, the people who stole things, as well as the whole supply and marketing cooperative, were burned to charcoal!

Tell me, is this thief stupid? Is this a sad thing?

The so-called stupid thieves are all found stealing, and some of them are quite funny.

1. When I was a child, there was a lazy man in the village who stole the neighbor's dog when no one was around. He was about to kill people and eat meat. Unexpectedly, he was bitten by a dog. That dog is really difficult to deal with. His arms are covered with blood. He went to find someone else to pay.

Neighbors asked him why he was bitten by a dog. He said the dog ran into his house and bit him. The neighbor thought it was wrong at that time because the neighbor's dog had been chained. Later, under the sweet words of his neighbors, he even admitted the fact that he stole the dog.

2. My friend's brother-in-law stole his brother-in-law's mobile phone and sold it. Because he doesn't have a password, people suspect that his mobile phone has been stolen and the price is extremely low. He said a few ugly words in anger, and the person who received the second-hand mobile phone called the police and arrested him. Fortunately, his brother-in-law did not pursue his responsibility, which has been looked down upon by relatives.

This thief is the most stupid. He works in an electronics factory. He saw a roommate's laptop in the dormitory, so he stole it and locked it in his locker. People who have lost their computers must look for them.

The person who lost his computer went to the dormitory manager. The dormitory manager, with the security guard, checked the monitoring in the corridor first. No one came out to get anything, so he asked everyone in the dormitory to open the locker and check. As a result, he found the computer in his locker.

Speaking of stupid thieves, now that I think about it, my classmates and I are a couple. It was 1999, the high school was about to have a holiday, and my classmate Daping left his bike in the dormitory. Somehow, someone took the handle off. I will ride home the next day. What should I do? My classmate said, help me get a handlebar! I don't know where he got the broken hand. It was late at night, so I paid him to go out for a walk. I was going to get a handlebar and stroll for a long time. Finally, I found a bicycle in a yard, and my classmate quietly went in and carried it out (in the early years, many households in Northeast China had no courtyard walls, only simple fences, so it was easy to get in). After walking 100 meters, I started to unload the handlebar in a remote place, but I didn't unload it for a long time (there was a front safety fork at that time). Because I was a thief for the first time, my legs kept shaking and my classmates laughed at me. It took a long time to remove it. There is no way, my classmate sent the car back again. We failed and came back. Later, I thought, it's stupid, can't I ride the car away? Still in high school! What a fool!