Too much expectation is sometimes a weapon to hurt yourself.

Some people say: "The maturity of the world often begins with lowering expectations."

With the growth of age, more and more found that:

Life doesn't go straight ahead, you will meet the sunshine, and the contentment in fairy tales usually stays in childhood.

In the adult world, not all encounters are joy; Not all expectations have surprises.

Growth has nothing to do with appearance, but a process of gradually lowering expectations of others.

Maturity has nothing to do with age, but a state of mind that knows everything and goes with the flow.

There is a saying that:

"The people who are most likely to feel warm and surprised are strangers, because they have no expectations;

People who feel sad and chilling most easily are close, because you love them. "

Once there are too many expectations in life, there will be joys and sorrows.

Read a fable.

An old woman came to the Buddha and cried and asked him, "It is said that all beings are equal. Why are there so many happy people and why am I the only one who is so unhappy? "

The old woman said that when she was young, there were many children at home, and her parents never had patience with her. She behaved well everywhere and wanted to get the love of her parents, but she never did.

"Why are other people's parents so good, but my parents are like this?" The old man confided to the Buddha.

After a young man gets married, his husband never speaks sweet words to her, nor does he give her a sense of ceremony on holiday anniversaries, nor can he make a lot of money.

"Why is someone else's husband capable in appearance and considerate in heart?" The old man cried.

After getting old, I finally raised my children, but they are just ordinary working-class people. Everyone is busy with their own lives, so they seldom have time to see her, and they don't even care much.

"Why are other people's children so capable and able to enjoy themselves?" The old man cried again.

The Buddha looked at the old man crying sadly and said piteously, "From greed to hatred, from desire to pain, the root of your life's pain lies in your high expectations of the people around you."

Parents are good and bad, but they will bring you up safely. Husband is good and bad, but honest and reliable. Children are bad and bad, but their adults are married.

You see, if you lower your expectations, life will have an advantage. "

Things will not develop according to people's wishes.

No one in this world can do everything well, and it's hard for someone to be nice to you the way you want.

The Buddhist said, "If you want to suffer, you don't want to be stiff."

We often see the ideal appearance that everything can get what we want in stories, but in real life, no one can live this life according to the template of happiness.

We must know the truth. The world is always full of regrets. You can't change the world. The only thing you can do is to lower your expectations.

There is a saying in "Human Disqualification": "Without excessive joy, there will be no extreme sadness."

Whether it's people or things, the higher your expectations, the more depressed you will be when you fail.

A big V blogger shared such a story.

Blogger friends are shopping in the mall, and the mall is redeeming lucky boxes, among which the special prize is a new mobile phone.

Bloggers don't care at all. He thinks that the chances of winning the grand prize in the lucky boxes piled all over the floor are too small, almost none.

With a casual attitude, he chose a box, but unexpectedly drew an umbrella. It was raining outside at that time, and the blogger thought this award was an unexpected surprise.

His friend, on the other hand, was full of hope for a new mobile phone, and as a result, he also got an umbrella, which made him disappointed. In the following shopping, his friend kept talking about it.

The blogger sighed in the article: "Life is such a thing, you really can't expect too much. If you expect more, you will be more disappointed. "

Yes, how can pies fall everywhere in the sky? Only by maintaining a normal mind can we reduce the gap in front of the results.

Too much expectation is sometimes a weapon to hurt yourself.

Like the famous "stockdale Paradox".

1965, US Admiral stockdale was captured in the Vietnam War.

During his eight years in prison, stockdale was tortured more than 20 times.

But he survived, and those who were held in prison camps with him died one after another in these eight years, although some of them were in better health than stockdale.

Some people marvel at his perseverance.

Stockdale said: "I probably survived because I didn't have high expectations for being released. They died because they had high expectations for being released."

They always hoped that Christmas would be pardoned, but they failed to do so after Christmas;

So I think Easter should be fine, but I still haven't been released. ......

Disappointment followed, and they lost the will to live. "

Yu Guangzhong said:

For no reason, I expect too much from the future, so when that day comes, I often face great grievances.

Qualified adults will gradually understand that only by lowering their expectations of others, results and the outside world can they stop imagining, persisting and persisting, and live a happy life every day.

An author once said: "Too high expectations will make people feel a lot of unnecessary sensitivity."

Life is a game of interacting with others, and life cannot develop as expected.

Only by lowering expectations of others and enhancing insensitivity can we meet, treat, feel and smile safely.

Recently, I rewrote the TV series Nirvana in Fire in my spare time, and a clip in it touched me very much.

Jing Rui Jr., who was originally the son of a noble family, had a great change in his life experience and everything around him changed overnight because of the grievances of the previous generation.

Some people think that he has become a joke, some people think that it will be difficult for him to get along with himself in Jinling aristocratic circle, and some people feel wronged for him, because it is Mr. Su whom he has always respected, which is tantamount to double harm to him.

But he is very open-minded and does what he should do step by step.

Facing the apologetic Mr. Su, he said:

"Everyone always has a choice. You took what you thought was important and abandoned me. It's just your choice.

If I am indignant at not being elected, there are too many unforgivable things in this world. After all, no one has the responsibility to put me first. "

Life as Clumsy as Me says, "Everyone lives the same life in essence, but the difference is your inner feelings."

I don't want to be kind everywhere. I don't want to drink to make his wine expensive.

Everyone is a self-centered circle, and there may be intersections between circles, but it is difficult for others to completely put you in.

You can't influence others' words and deeds, and you can't let others put you first everywhere. You can only manage yourself, treat others sincerely and let nature take its course.

The heart is not entangled, and the heart is free.

Chen Guo, a talented woman of Fudan University, once said: "If people really have a lifelong companion, it is ourselves."

Adults have their own ideas and worlds.

Some things, others can't control you; Some things, others can't fulfill you.

It is always a dangerous thing to pin your hopes on others and expect too much.

When encountering difficulties, it is the ability to solve them by yourself; The future you want, only if you create it yourself, can you have hope.

Life is like this, the road should be taken step by step, and life should be lived bit by bit.

If you put your hopes on yourself, you will not be afraid of helplessness.

Only by relying on ourselves can we grow continuously and face life calmly.